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Age Play, Age Regression, and Existing Somewhere in Between


ForeverFluffy
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As someone as a member of both the AgeRe /CGLre and Cg/L communities, I'd like to facilitate a discussion about their similarities, their differences, and how people exist between these two communities.

 

Age regression is defined as the psychotherapeutic technique of regressing to the mindset of a child, helping one access memories, feelings and thoughts from their childhood. Many people age regress as a coping mechanism for stress, especially those who have experienced childhood trauma.

 

Age play is defined as a form of roleplay, sexual or otherwise, where an individual acts as a different age than they are. They can act younger or older than they actually are. This can be therapeutic, as well, but the people who engage in this activity are still consenting adults.

 

To many people, the two are similar. They both involve acting a different age and they may involve the same elements.

 

To me, however, the differences between the two are stark. People who regress are mentally another age than they are outside of that headspace. For me, my mind is that of a child. I cannot consent to any kind of sexual activity. People who age play actually can because they are still mentally adults. When I age play, I may act like I'm younger but I'm still able to understand what's happening, consent, and enjoy.

 

Being a part of both communities is kinda controversial. Many people who are part of the AgeRe community are staunchly against kink and age play. Personally, when I'm regressed, I find adult content distressing. So I don't allow adult interaction with my agere Tumblr. But outside of that headspace, I'm a consenting adult and what I do is my business.

 

How do you navigate all these nuances? How do you view age regression and age play? Do you exist somewhere in between?

Edited by ForeverFluffy
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I’m both an age regressor and age player. My reasons for both are nobody’s business but my own and I find it extremely narrow-minded when someone questions either and “how little” I am.

 

I also agree with your statement and that being part of both communities is EXTREMELY controversial. I was recently blasted on Instagram by a salty B who made a post to report, block, and get my account taken down. I don’t have any NSFW content, it’s just pastel aesthetic fashion. But because I “crosstagged” I am the spawn of Satan and deserve the worst sentence known to Instagram . I removed the agere/CGLre tags, when all she could’ve done was ask me to and I would have, but she felt the need to represent the community by slandering one of their own. I don’t like talking to regressed adults online for this exact reason, like you say, their mental mindset and rationale is not that of their actual “big” age.

 

Now, I just don’t associate at all with other age regressors on social media and I find that extremely sad that I am basically prohibited to doing so because I am into DDLG and am an ageplayer.

 

Also I have a strong unpopular opinion:

DXLG/B, MXLG/B, CGLre, don’t belong in agere at all. Because of site rules, I can’t go into it, but if you or anyone else want to further discuss I’d be happy to outside the forum.

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Believe it or not, Tumblr is getting better about discourse between the two communities. The general rule of thumb in AgeRe is that if the person cross-tagging or reposting content to an NSFW blog doesn't want to take it down or is hostile, you should "block, don't send hate."

Personally, I try to see both sides. When I'm regressed, adult content distresses me. I've had NSFW blogs reblog my stuff and they don't take it down and that can lead to more adult-oriented blogs interacting with me. But I know plenty of NSFW blogs that have been harassed for just existing and it distresses big me to see so much hate towards consenting adults being themselves. So I try to be conscientious of whoever I reblog from. And that's just the general feel of the group of regressors I interact with.

That being said, I wish both sides would be nicer to each other.

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As someone as a member of both the AgeRe /CGLre and Cg/L communities, I'd like to facilitate a discussion about their similarities, their differences, and how people exist between these two communities.

 

Okey, let's play! :)

Age regression is defined as the psychotherapeutic technique of regressing to the mindset of a child, helping one access memories, feelings and thoughts from their childhood. Many people age regressor as a coping mechanism for stress, especially those who have experienced childhood trauma. 

 

I'm sure this is a well accepted definition but I consider it woefully inadequate.  I'm not nitpicking for the sake of nitpicking - as long as people are going to take comfort fitting into boxes, then boxes should be labeled correctly so as to not leave anyone out.  For many individuals, there is nothing therapeutic about age regression.  For some, it is no different an escape than alcohol or drugs would be, and one would be hard pressed to call that therapeutic.  Too, some turned to age regression for the reasons stated, but it has taken on a life of it's own - for instance: 

 

There are people out there who would kill a human being for burning paper or cloth to keep warm if that paper was pages from their holy book or the cloth was their flag.  Despite the fact that we are completely capable of understanding on an intellectual level that it's just paper...or just thread, we have, over many years or decades, bestowed a deep emotional value on these things that supersedes it's intrinsic value.  In a similar way, some do this with 'little them'.  There are those who no longer require the therapeutic benefits of age regression but they have placed such a high value on 'little them' because frankly, little them may have saved their life or sanity - that they are unwilling to give it up even if age regression has outlived it's usefulness with that individual.  

To me, however, the differences between the two are stark.

 

Clearly.

 

People who regress are mentally another age than they are outside of that headspace. For me, my mind is that of a child. I cannot consent to any kind of sexual activity.

 

Again, clearly...for me.

 

People who age play actually can because they are still mentally adults. When I age play, I may act like I'm younger but I'm still able to understand what's happening, consent, and enjoy. 

Being a part of both communities is kinda controversial. Many people who are part of the AgeRe community are staunchly against kink and age play. Personally, when I'm regressed, I find adult content distressing. So I don't allow adult interaction with my agere Tumblr. But outside of that headspace, I'm a consenting adult and what I do is my business.

 

Alrighty then...in the event I haven't opened a can of worms yet, allow me to begin. :)   In the same way that there social drinkers and alcoholics, there are people who age play in a healthy way and there are those who age play and are just screwing up their psyche even worse than it already was.  Unfortunately, just like with alcohol, just about everyone thinks THEY are the social drinkers.  Since people don't wear signs telling us which one they are, I just don't age play with anyone.  I'm okay with it for me; but I'm not sure about you (not you personally) so I pass because, first do no harm et al.

How do you navigate all these nuances? How do you view age regression and age play? Do you exist somewhere in between?

 

I don't try to fit into a box so it doesn't really apply but always down for a discussion. :)


 

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So, for me, I don't "regress" for medically therapeutic reasons (although I do find relief from adult stress when I allow my little side out), nor do I consider what I do as age play, as my little side isn't really an "age".

I am little, it's in my personality. Some days I enbrace my inner child, at other times I adult like a boss. But either way, I'm always a consenting adult.

Not sure if any of that made sense...I kinda started to ramble.

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As someone as a member of both the AgeRe /CGLre and Cg/L communities, I'd like to facilitate a discussion about their similarities, their differences, and how people exist between these two communities.

 

Okey, let's play! :)Age regression is defined as the psychotherapeutic technique of regressing to the mindset of a child, helping one access memories, feelings and thoughts from their childhood. Many people age regressor as a coping mechanism for stress, especially those who have experienced childhood trauma. 

 

I'm sure this is a well accepted definition but I consider it woefully inadequate.  I'm not nitpicking for the sake of nitpicking - as long as people are going to take comfort fitting into boxes, then boxes should be labeled correctly so as to not leave anyone out.  For many individuals, there is nothing therapeutic about age regression.  For some, it is no different an escape than alcohol or drugs would be, and one would be hard pressed to call that therapeutic.  Too, some turned to age regression for the reasons stated, but it has taken on a life of it's own - for instance: 

 

There are people out there who would kill a human being for burning paper or cloth to keep warm if that paper was pages from their holy book or the cloth was their flag.  Despite the fact that we are completely capable of understanding on an intellectual level that it's just paper...or just thread, we have, over many years or decades, bestowed a deep emotional value on these things that supersedes it's intrinsic value.  In a similar way, some do this with 'little them'.  There are those who no longer require the therapeutic benefits of age regression but they have placed such a high value on 'little them' because frankly, little them may have saved their life or sanity - that they are unwilling to give it up even if age regression has outlived it's usefulness with that individual.  To me, however, the differences between the two are stark.

 

Clearly.

 

People who regress are mentally another age than they are outside of that headspace. For me, my mind is that of a child. I cannot consent to any kind of sexual activity.

 

Again, clearly...for me.

 

People who age play actually can because they are still mentally adults. When I age play, I may act like I'm younger but I'm still able to understand what's happening, consent, and enjoy. Being a part of both communities is kinda controversial. Many people who are part of the AgeRe community are staunchly against kink and age play. Personally, when I'm regressed, I find adult content distressing. So I don't allow adult interaction with my agere Tumblr. But outside of that headspace, I'm a consenting adult and what I do is my business.

 

Alrighty then...in the event I haven't opened a can of worms yet, allow me to begin. :)   In the same way that there social drinkers and alcoholics, there are people who age play in a healthy way and there are those who age play and are just screwing up their psyche even worse than it already was.  Unfortunately, just like with alcohol, just about everyone thinks THEY are the social drinkers.  Since people don't wear signs telling us which one they are, I just don't age play with anyone.  I'm okay with it for me; but I'm not sure about you (not you personally) so I pass because, first do no harm et al.How do you navigate all these nuances? How do you view age regression and age play? Do you exist somewhere in between?

 

I don't try to fit into a box so it doesn't really apply but always down for a discussion. :)

 

So... This feels a bit judgemental? I don't wish to argue, though. This is just the vibe I'm getting. I think I know what I'm talking about, though. Or I wouldn't have brought it up. I know plenty of age regressors who regress healthily. Yes, if one regressed too often for too long, they run away from their real lives and the coping mechanism becomes unhealthy. But many regressors I know aren't regressed 24/7, regress healthily and are better for it. I regress for my own reasons. And I age play for my own reasons. The two, to me, are different. But that's why I wanted to discuss the subject with others. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Some people are genuinely concerned for those who age regress. And that's okay, too. I think the best way to really understand, though, is to talk about it. Thank you, though, for bringing these points to my attention. I appreciate your point of view.

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So, for me, I don't "regress" for medically therapeutic reasons (although I do find relief from adult stress when I allow my little side out), nor do I consider what I do as age play, as my little side isn't really an "age".

I am little, it's in my personality. Some days I enbrace my inner child, at other times I adult like a boss. But either way, I'm always a consenting adult.

Not sure if any of that made sense...I kinda started to ramble.

It makes perfect sense to me. That's what I experience a little more often nowadays than age regression. Age play, even if you don't have a specific age in mind, can be therapeutic as well and very relaxing.
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For me regressing does not happen that often and every time it does it is very therapeutic. I do go to a younger mental age and I cannot think as an adult. Then there is my littlespace which for me is a space where I am mentally younger but not full on regression, if that makes sense. That space is also therapeutic and a huge stress relief. I don't care for adult content in either space either.

 

From the psychotherapy viewpoint, my therapist has explained to me that as I continue to heal and grow both those spaces may change and I may at some point in time no longer regress, I may not even have much need of my littlespace but I will always have little tendencies and it will always be part of my personality.

 

Unfortunately if you are using sites like Tumblr and Instagram that is not exclusive to the AgeRe /CGLre and Cg/L communities, I think you have to expect some cross over with adult content because the internet is technically a free for all. It's like having a camp out and separating people into groups and telling the groups that they can't interact even though they are right next to each other, it's just not a feasible or a reasonable expectation. Now if there is a dedicated campground, website, for each group then it becomes a more realistic possibility. 

Edited by TwilightSparklez
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I agree on all counts, actually @TwilightSparklez

I don't quite regress as of late because, as your therapist said, over time it's changed for me and I don't need it as much as I did, say, two years ago. The same is true for little space, which is a kind of in-between for me. Not fully regressed, not fully adult.

As for using public apps/platforms that house a number of interests... That's why I do my best not to be on my phone when I'm regressed (^◇^;) But I still maintain my DNI for my blog.

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So... This feels a bit judgemental?

 

That's unfortunate, it wasn't meant that way.

 

I don't wish to argue, though.

 

Good, me neither.  

 

This is just the vibe I'm getting.

 

Yeah well, I'm sure you're not alone.  

 

I think I know what I'm talking about, though. Or I wouldn't have brought it up.

 

No worries, I'm sure you do too and I apologize for entering the discussion.  ~huggles~ <--of the platonic kind

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So, for me, I don't "regress" for medically therapeutic reasons (although I do find relief from adult stress when I allow my little side out), nor do I consider what I do as age play, as my little side isn't really an "age".

I am little, it's in my personality. Some days I enbrace my inner child, at other times I adult like a boss. But either way, I'm always a consenting adult.

Not sure if any of that made sense...I kinda started to ramble.

I can relate to your pov too, (unrelated) and is actually similar to the first definition of what a Little is that I’d come across a few years back. An adult who partakes in childlike activities or has interests pertaining to an age group younger than their biological age, but that it’s just a natural part of their personality. Not age playing, age regressing etc. as those are separate things to me personally that I have little to no interest in.

 

 

No matter the age we pretend to be, we are all still adults.

The way some people refer to age regression- “unable to make well informed decisions” “can’t get out of an age regressive state” “slip in and out of this mentality involuntarily”, it sounds like a type of mental disability. Is that a part of the difference between Age Play and Regression? One is playing pretend, one is a mental health issue where you reform to the intelligence of a child/baby? Genuinely asking. I’ve never seen anyone explain it in a way that I understand.

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The way some people refer to age regression- “unable to make well informed decisions” “can’t get out of an age regressive state” “slip in and out of this mentality involuntarily”, it sounds like a type of mental disability. Is that a part of the difference between Age Play and Regression? One is playing pretend, one is a mental health issue where you reform to the intelligence of a child/baby? Genuinely asking. I’ve never seen anyone explain it in a way that I understand.

Okay it isn't a mental disability. It's a psychotherapy technique. So let's take a step back. Some age regressors mentally go back to a simpler time/age, a time before childhood trauma for example. In my case, I regress sometimes to about the age of four because it was a time before certain things happened in my life. But it is very much a temporary state. It's a coping mechanism for me, one I don't use as often as I used to. In therapy, it can be used to explore such a time in a person's life to reconcile issues in the past.

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Pox, 

 

It's kind of weird...usually I get a sense whether someone will 'get me' or not, but with you, I get the sense that you are going to get me very well....or very poorly, no middle of the road.  Let's see which one.  :)  Either way, I'm trying to help:

 

The way some people refer to age regression- “unable to make well informed decisions” “can’t get out of an age regressive state” “slip in and out of this mentality involuntarily”, it sounds like a type of mental disability.

 

You are right, that's exactly what it sounds like.  Couple of possibilities spring immediately to mind.  It's a mental disorder, the person isn't communicating clearly, or some combination of both.  I'm not shy about it - I've got DID (dissociative identity disorder) and one of my most active alters is six years old.  As for your example, 'slip in and out of this mentality involuntarily' - she refers to it as "switch slapping me". :)  Anywho, I have found two studies over the years that agreed that about a quarter of the age regression/DDlg population is or could be diagnosed DID.  Put a pin in this and I'll pick it up after your next line...

 

Is that a part of the difference between Age Play and Regression?

 

It is for that 25%.  Herein lies the difficulty though.  Since "you are a little when you say you are", "there is no right way to do DD/lg", "everybody is different but it's all valid and good", etc., we end up insulating people who could actually use help from getting it.  'It's not you...it's that he was a fake daddy' - or 'your perfect daddy is out there' (ignoring the fact that many people with significantly larger dating pools to choose from never find the perfect person).   Anyway, what I'm getting at is some people are going to claim that that's part of the difference between age play and regression - and others are going to say that it's not.  I've found that the community as a whole kind of frowns on objective definitions as anti-inclusive.

 

One is playing pretend, one is a mental health issue where you reform to the intelligence of a child/baby? Genuinely asking. I’ve never seen anyone explain it in a way that I understand.

 

I don't think 'reform' is the word you're looking for ...aspie, sorry...  Well, my six year old is...six, with forty-eight years experience.  So, she's learned skills and picked up knowledge that most six year olds don't have, but she processes as a six year old.  If you found any of this helpful  but have further questions - you are always welcome to message me.  

Edited by SamL
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I've actually never heard of these studies! They sound interesting, though. Sounds like a fascinating read. Do you think you could send me a link, @SamL?

 

To my knowledge, I don't have any mental health issues outside of generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD and depression. Regression was part of reconciling issues in my childhood for me as well as a coping mechanism for when things got super duper stressful and I didn't have any other healthy coping mechanisms at the time. 

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I've actually never heard of these studies! They sound interesting, though. Sounds like a fascinating read. Do you think you could send me a link, @SamL?


 


I almost included a disclaimer in my post that there was no way I was ever going to be able to find those studies because I haven't seen them in a decade or so.  Wish I did have them still but alas...


 


To my knowledge, I don't have any mental health issues outside of generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD and depression. Regression was part of reconciling issues in my childhood for me as well as a coping mechanism for when things got super duper stressful and I didn't have any other healthy coping mechanisms at the time. 


 


~nods~  It sounds like your regression is/was a healthy conscious choice based on your options, while mine was a healthy subconscious choice based on my options.  We both survived and, I'd guess, better off for those choices :)


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Guest crazycatdaddy

To your original point OP, it seems clear to me that it's perfectly possible and okay for someone to both regress and partake in sexual ageplay. What it requires is clarity and a partner (assuming one wants a partner) who can tell the difference between the two states. I've known more people who fit into the regression category than into the ageplay category in my time as a member of the wider CG/L community - but that's because I'm asexual and since I tend to be up front about that, certainly some people into ageplay as a sexual kink aren't interested in communicating with me. That's my own bias I suppose.

 

But it's clear that regression and ageplay overlap for some people, and as with any poorly-defined or poorly-understood terminology, there are people who use "ageplay" meaning something nonsexual, and people who use "regression" meaning sexual ageplay. That's just how language works, especially in a small community where terms have never been explicitly defined and can't be found in a dictionary. This is why communication in a relationship is so important, and it can be risky to just jump in head first without talking these things through. Consent is crucial, and that only comes from honesty and clarity, so discussing with any potential partner what one means by "ageplay", "regression" and related terms is the best way for anyone involved in the dynamic to avoid issues down the line.

 

When I use the term "littlespace" to describe a regressed headspace, I mean that in the "regression" sense, and I try to be clear about that. I'm not a sexual person anyway, so for me this hasn't really come up, but it's been my experience with littles and age regressors that they can almost always get out of that headspace when necessary. "Being big" or "adulting" in order to accomplish day-to-day life means underlying their regressed state is the subconscious knowledge of adulthood and adult life. From a safety point of view, it means that they're able to "snap out of it", even if just by saying a safeword, for example, to stop a partner doing something they didn't want. In fact I'd go further and say that and say that, at least for most of the people I've met, regressing in front of someone else actually requires feeling comfortable and safe, and any perception of danger, discomfort, or awkwardness can pull them out of littlespace and end the regression for that moment. Again, from a safety point of view, I would think that for the people I've known who regressed, while they would as you say not necessarily be able to consent while in littlespace, if they were pushed into such an uncomfortable situation it would almost certainly pull them out of littlespace, thus putting them back in a position where they regained control to the point of understanding everything going on, and would therefore be able to consent or not consent to whatever was happening. But again, this is limited experience based on people I've met who were either nonsexual while regressed or fully asexual, so I don't claim to speak for the community.

 

On the point of age regressors and ageplayers disliking one another or disapproving of one another, my personal take is and has always been "live and let live". I'm not gay, I'm not polyamorous, I'm not even sexual, yet I don't go around telling people who fall into any of those groups that they're doing something wrong, and I'd appreciate people doing the same for me. If someone likes sexual ageplay and you don't, that's okay. No need to argue. You do your thing and let them do theirs. The existence of sexual ageplay doesn't harm non-sexual age regression, nor does regression do any damage to ageplay. As long as everyone is clear about where they stand and which group they are part of, there shouldn't be any issues and we can all just get along. In an ideal world, at least!

Edited by crazycatdaddy
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How do you navigate all these nuances? How do you view age regression and age play? Do you exist somewhere in between?

 

Imo:

Age players are adults taking full responsability over what they do and they do it voluntarily, consenting to it. They take role of person with different age, pretend to be something they are not. It is something they enjoy, something fun and positive. It's PLAY.

 

Regression then again seems more like coping mechanishm and about ( lack of ) mental health. This is not playing but I'm not sure if it is pretending with some still.

 

So, those two are nothing like.

 

( I'm neither age player or regressor myself )

 

 

 

I normally try to stay away from age regressors as I find it deeply troublesome to possibly be involved with someone's trauma / dealing with the trauma. ( Unless I know them, they know what they are doing and so on. )

 

Dealing with traumas should be done by specialised people, not random strangers in internet who have not even agreed to it.

 

Regressor should not complain if things don't go the way they want when in internet ( or so ). They should have responsibility to do their regressing in manner that is safest for them.

 

And people should know what they are involved with: if using platform that is free to all, it really is free to all, and no one should have tantrum about it. If one wants truly safe place with nothing bothersome coming up in their browser, they should disconnect their internet. And not throw a fist over world being what it is.

 

 

Edit: fixed few sentences to make more sense XD

Edited by baby_k
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To your original point OP, it seems clear to me that it's perfectly possible and okay for someone to both regress and partake in sexual ageplay. What it requires is clarity and a partner (assuming one wants a partner) who can tell the difference between the two states. I've known more people who fit into the regression category than into the ageplay category in my time as a member of the wider CG/L community - but that's because I'm asexual and since I tend to be up front about that, certainly some people into ageplay as a sexual kink aren't interested in communicating with me. That's my own bias I suppose.

 

But it's clear that regression and ageplay overlap for some people, and as with any poorly-defined or poorly-understood terminology, there are people who use "ageplay" meaning something nonsexual, and people who use "regression" meaning sexual ageplay. That's just how language works, especially in a small community where terms have never been explicitly defined and can't be found in a dictionary. This is why communication in a relationship is so important, and it can be risky to just jump in head first without talking these things through. Consent is crucial, and that only comes from honesty and clarity, so discussing with any potential partner what one means by "ageplay", "regression" and related terms is the best way for anyone involved in the dynamic to avoid issues down the line.

 

When I use the term "littlespace" to describe a regressed headspace, I mean that in the "regression" sense, and I try to be clear about that. I'm not a sexual person anyway, so for me this hasn't really come up, but it's been my experience with littles and age regressors that they can almost always get out of that headspace when necessary. "Being big" or "adulting" in order to accomplish day-to-day life means underlying their regressed state is the subconscious knowledge of adulthood and adult life. From a safety point of view, it means that they're able to "snap out of it", even if just by saying a safeword, for example, to stop a partner doing something they didn't want. In fact I'd go further and say that and say that, at least for most of the people I've met, regressing in front of someone else actually requires feeling comfortable and safe, and any perception of danger, discomfort, or awkwardness can pull them out of littlespace and end the regression for that moment. Again, from a safety point of view, I would think that for the people I've known who regressed, while they would as you say not necessarily be able to consent while in littlespace, if they were pushed into such an uncomfortable situation it would almost certainly pull them out of littlespace, thus putting them back in a position where they regained control to the point of understanding everything going on, and would therefore be able to consent or not consent to whatever was happening. But again, this is limited experience based on people I've met who were either nonsexual while regressed or fully asexual, so I don't claim to speak for the community.

 

On the point of age regressors and ageplayers disliking one another or disapproving of one another, my personal take is and has always been "live and let live". I'm not gay, I'm not polyamorous, I'm not even sexual, yet I don't go around telling people who fall into any of those groups that they're doing something wrong, and I'd appreciate people doing the same for me. If someone likes sexual ageplay and you don't, that's okay. No need to argue. You do your thing and let them do theirs. The existence of sexual ageplay doesn't harm non-sexual age regression, nor does regression do any damage to ageplay. As long as everyone is clear about where they stand and which group they are part of, there shouldn't be any issues and we can all just get along. In an ideal world, at least!

I agree with a lot of your points. If one were to have a partner and still choose to engage in these two spaces, that partner would need to be able to tell the difference between them. Personally, I've only ever had one partner during the time I was using regression often and they weren't able to tell the difference (though they weren't a great partner so idek). They thought I was age playing and when they tried to make advances, I would become distressed and cry. When they persisted, I would eventually snap out of Small Space (that's what I call it to differentiate) and big me would put a stop to it. Small Space is a huge place of vulnerability and I never showed them that side of me again. Play Space (age play space) is all they ever saw again. Until recently, I've been very specific about who I allow to even know about Small Space. But I thought it was worth discussing.

I do wish the communities would be more amicable. But people are imperfect and sensitive. So I try to just navigate carefully.

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Imo:

Age players are adults taking full responsability over what they do and they do it voluntarily, consenting to it. They take role of person with different age, pretend to be something they are not. It is something they enjoy, something fun and positive. It's PLAY.

 

Regression then again seems more like coping mechanishm and about ( lack of ) mental health. This is not playing but I'm not sure if it is pretending with some still.

 

So, those two are nothing like.

 

( I'm neither age player or regressor myself )

 

 

 

I normally try to stay away from age regressors as I find it deeply troublesome to possibly be involved with someone's trauma / dealing with the trauma. ( Unless I know them, they know what they are doing and so on. )

 

Dealing with traumas should be done by specialised people, not random strangers in internet who have not even agreed to it.

 

Regressor should not complain if things don't go the way they want when in internet ( or so ). They should have responsibility to do their regressing in manner that is safest for them.

 

And people should know what they are involved with: if using platform that is free to all, it really is free to all, and no one should have tantrum about it. If one wants truly safe place with nothing bothersome coming up in their browser, they should disconnect their internet. And not throw a fist over world being what it is.

 

 

Edit: fixed few sentences to make more sense XD

I do see the validity of your points. And I do agree to some extent.

It can be scary to deal with, on both parts. And yes, I think that regression should be handled by people who have agreed to do so (trained professionals and possibly those who wish to help, I don't quite know where I stand on that yet).

But on regressors reacting negatively... I somewhat disagree. Yes, public platforms are just that, public. But one can choose who they want to interact with. Personally, as I've said, I've tried to navigate carefully and be understanding. But I still reserve the right to block someone I don't want interacting with me. Everyone has that right on the internet.

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Guest crazycatdaddy

Without wanting to tread on anyone's toes, I would just like to add that in my experience, the people I've met who enjoyed nonsexual age regression did so voluntarily because they enjoyed it, and not because of any psychiatric issues. Those people could stop being in littlespace/small space/regression when they needed to, and were capable of talking to me as adults and equal partners in the relationship at the time we were together.

 

A friend of mine has a wholly nonsexual littlespace, and while she can seemingly slip into it sometimes, she's always aware of what's going on and would be able to stop if necessary. Everyone I've met who regressed had that ability, even if they found being pulled out of littlespace at the wrong time uncomfortable. Littlespace - which is the general term I use for an individual's regressed state - is totally okay, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be little or enjoying being little, and I would encourage people to explore that side of themselves if they feel that's something they want to do. Is it "normal" in the sense that 100% of the population does it? No, but this is a kink community - is it normal to want to be tied up, or spanked, or pretend to be a slave or a pet? Or would those people be deemed to have psychiatric problems too? Any of these things are totally okay for consenting adults to do.

 

I've never met anyone for whom I would have said age regression was a problem, or was something detrimental to them or their psyche. I don't deny the possibility such a person could exist, but I've been around CG/L for years and the AB/DL community for pushing two decades, and I've never encountered anyone in that position. There is a clinical term called regression, which Freud developed in the early days of psychiatry, but I wouldn't characterise any of the people I've met as having a problem with regressing, let alone to the point that regression itself was something they'd need professional help with.

 

Do some people use age regression and their involvement in the CG/L community as a way to help their mental health? Undoubtedly yes. Is that, in itself, unhealthy if that individual is in control of their regression and able to handle their life outside of it? I don't believe so. I have mental health issues myself, and I know from experience that there are countless ways someone can try to make themselves feel better when dealing with such complicated issues. If for someone, regression helps them maintain their mental health so that they can face the adult world when they have to, I don't consider that a problem at all. If that strategy is something that works for them and helps them feel better, I'm all for it.

 

Age regression, like age play, littlespace, and other associated terms, is 100% okay.

 

Of course, if someone feels like they're regressing too much, or if their regression is interfering with their ability to live their life, then maybe at that point there's an issue, but again just in my own experience I've never met anyone in that situation.

 

Mental health issues are incredibly complicated and incredibly personal. What helps one person may not help another, and that goes for things like therapy and medication too. The two main thrusts of psychiatry aren't always able to help every individual. I believe everyone suffering with mental health issues should talk to a professional if they're at all able to do so, because that can be the first step to getting help. But to say that age regression and nonsexual age play are inherently bad or unhealthy behaviours isn't right.

 

But at the end of the day, if talking to someone who regresses makes a person feel uncomfortable, they are under no obligation to do so. We all have things we find acceptable and things we don't; qualities we want in a friend and qualities we don't, so as I said earlier, "live and let live".

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I would just like to add that in my experience, the people I've met who enjoyed nonsexual age regression did so voluntarily because they enjoyed it, and not because of any psychiatric issues. 

 

You realize that this is conjecture on your part, right?  If I were to diagnose someone here on the forum, I would hope that I would be spoken to and warned against doing so.  Determining that someone doesn't have a psychiatric issue is the other side of that coin.  Last night I called emergency services for a young woman in the middle of a meth induced psychotic episode.  While I waited for them to arrive I kept her company and she had a lucid moment before the giraffes came back.  During that moment, I asked her why she kept doing this to herself and if she might be ready to quit.  She wasn't ready...the reason she gave is 'because I like how it makes me feel'.  In other words, she said she 'enjoys it'.  In truth, she probably enjoys how it makes her stop feeling all the ugly feelings she is running from.  

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I would just like to add that in my experience, the people I've met who enjoyed nonsexual age regression did so voluntarily because they enjoyed it, and not because of any psychiatric issues. 

 

You realize that this is conjecture on your part, right?  If I were to diagnose someone here on the forum, I would hope that I would be spoken to and warned against doing so.  Determining that someone doesn't have a psychiatric issue is the other side of that coin.  Last night I called emergency services for a young woman in the middle of a meth induced psychotic episode.  While I waited for them to arrive I kept her company and she had a lucid moment before the giraffes came back.  During that moment, I asked her why she kept doing this to herself and if she might be ready to quit.  She wasn't ready...the reason she gave is 'because I like how it makes me feel'.  In other words, she said she 'enjoys it'.  In truth, she probably enjoys how it makes her stop feeling all the ugly feelings she is running from.  

 

Going totally off topic but I have watched this document called Whores' glory. It is a documentary about prostitutes all over the world. And it is... one of the most anxiety causing things I have seen. There you have people who say they do things voluntarily and this is what they want. But the pain they clearly have is crushing, and how as an outsider you can see that if they had things better in their life, they would most likely choose really differently.

 

Before seeing the documentary I used to think that everybody are free to do whatever they want with their body, also sell it as they may actually like it. After the documentary I always wonder what makes people do the choices they make and do they have real freedom of choice. Like having those ugly feelings make that girl choose meth. One can say she could anytime stop but can she really? Is she in place and state of mind that she has actual possibility to stop and treat herself with utter most care? I doubt that. She does the best she can but unfortunately it is not taking her too far atm.

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Age regression isn't the same as drug abuse, though. And, frankly, that could be misconstrued as ignorant and really hurtful. I'm trying to be really understanding and objective about this. Age regression can and often is helpful. Hard drugs aren't.

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Guest crazycatdaddy

Okay so firstly, I do respect people's opinions and if you don't like or approve of nonsexual age regression, that's fine. I'm not trying to tell you that you need to change your opinion, and I never would.

 

I don't feel regression is at all comparable to drug abuse or anything of that nature.

 

My "conjecture" is based on people I know intimately, so in those cases I stand by my assessment. These aren't people I met once on a forum, these are friends and people with whom I was very close for a long time. Now I didn't say that in 100% of cases regression is always going to be okay, because as I pointed out in my post there can be examples where an individual's behaviour becomes a problem for them, or interferes with their ability to live their life. But one could make that case for any behaviour - when does comfort food become unhealthy overeating? When does a fetish become an obsession?

 

I try to treat everyone I meet in the community with respect. I try to treat them as if they were adults, regardless of their enjoyment of regression. And in every case so far, the people I've known who were into regression have responded well to that, and have clearly shown to me that they are in control of it. It's a hobby for them, not an addiction. And I'll stand by that.

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Age regression isn't the same as drug abuse, though. And, frankly, that could be misconstrued as ignorant and really hurtful. I'm trying to be really understanding and objective about this. Age regression can and often is helpful. Hard drugs aren't.

 

I am bowing out, this will be my last comment on the thread...I just don't know how you and crazycatdaddy keep misunderstanding me but I'm going to take one last stab at it...

 

No, age regression isn't the same as drug abuse.  Sometimes, when dealing with a sensitive topic...well, here - from examples.com: "The use and purpose of analogies may baffle any reader at first but once they would realize how analogies can help writers in making difficult and sensitive topics or things understandable, analogies might be used frequently.  For instance, 'Finding a good man is like finding a needle in a haystack.'"

 

Just as a 'good man' is not the same as a 'needle', age regression is not drug abuse.  I wasn't suggesting it was.  I was making an analogy.  Analogies are, by definition, "when you compare two completely different ideas or things and use its similarities to give an explanation of things that are hard to understand or are too sensitive."

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