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Small/Subtle Things for Submission?


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I haven't been in a legit BDSM/DDLG relationship yet, but i was thinking about small ways you could practice easing trust issues and subtly (or not so subtly in front of kink-friendly friends) show submission that isnt a scene or involves toys.


For example, something i was thinking about while contemplating things to bring up when the day comes that i find a Top/Dom that is interested, was putting up my hair in a full pony tail.


Sounds a bit dumb, but it makes total personal sense to me. I havent worn a full pony tail out in public since i read that very bad people who are looking to commit a physical crime on someone sometimes look for someone who has their hair in easily controlable ways. This has quite scared me, and since i am generally a small person i dont need another disadvantage in case something goes down.


So, with the opportunity, communication, and understanding, wearing a full ponytail in public with them would make it a basically undetectable, simple thing to exercise trust and submission for me and my future Top/Dom.


This was a personal example, but is there anything anyone else can suggest, think of, do or have done thats willing to share.

Even a link to a resource for more info on this kind of thing would be appreciated, since i didnt find much in a simple search and id figure id make a post about it on here since ive joined the forums.

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like stuff like this? I'm not sure what things the sub could do personally, but maybe if you ask for things like this? also 

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I'm sort of on the same page as Zander. I dont really do anything specific to be submissive to my Daddy in public or really in private. I AM submissive to him and that is displayed in a lot of ways.


As a little and a submissive to my Daddy the way I demonstrate trust and submission is by listening, following the rules, not talking back and trusting him enough to know that although he will push me in public he won't do anything that is inappropriate or involves others in an inappropriate way.


Some things that he does when we're out is making sure he keeps me on his side away from the road, he has me always walk just slightly behind him, I have to wait while he goes through doors first, I can pick my food in restaurants but he orders not me, if I pick things up in stores when I've been told not to I get the Daddy look from him, if I'm misbehaving he may give me on a swat on the bum but not openly or obviously and a bunch of other things as well including almost all of the ones posted by Zander.


Originally I didnt want to wear my play collar outside the house but he was very firm. I did ask my wife how she felt about it and originally she wasnt for the idea but the two of them talked and reached an agreement. I always have my day collar on but now when we are going out for walks or things he will often put my play collar on as well. It's visible yes but not overtly and he knows when it's appropriate or not.


Submission and it's expression will really depend on the couple. The best thing I can recommend is when you find your Dom talk, Express your preferences and find common ground.


Little kaiya

Edited by Little kaiya
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Beg for Jay is a narcissist, and I don't recommend using him as an example for anything other than what NOT to do.


Be yourself, if you're naturally submissive, it will be easy to show your submission in small ways. Deferring to him, always allowing him to guide you. But remember that submissive isn't equal to less than, it's a gift that he needs to earn.

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BegforJay has a YouTube video titled "Subtle Signs of Submission.

you do know begforjay isn't even part of his local community? they blacklisted him. there's tons of videos out exposing him for abusing subs. please don't use his videos as examples for anything

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I'm just myself and it comes out when I'm comfortable. I have a group of friends I've been friends with since middle/high school, so over 10 years now. :) A lot comes out around them as a result.


Things I sometimes do: ask for help with my hair or clothes if sleeping over, follow directions if for example I'm cleaning something up with them or whatever, ask to be carried or for a piggyback ride, hold hands, let them choose the movie/board game/activity, ask if I've done a good job, let someone else drive, let them choose the music (to a certain extent - some of my friends and I have opposite music tastes and I just cannot listen to too much of certain artists at once)


Hm, I think I do more little things than particularly submissive, but I'm sure none of my friends would be surprised to find out, except maybe the revelation I have some sprinkles on my vanilla. :p Or maybe not, since they say "it's always the quiet ones" and I'm kinda quiet...


I think you could also do things like wear certain jewelry, like a choker necklace.

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  • 2 months later...

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