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Helping my Little with Daddy withdrawl?


fausto
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My little just had an amazing day. Snuggles, cuddles, jacuzzi, plenty of playtime and of course some sexy time, and we even went out to dinner. But when she went back home, about 40 minutes away, she called me sobbing on the phone. Almost inconsolably upset about missing me. 

 

While initially I'm quite flattered that she cares so much about being with me, it's not really good for her to be absolutely crushed when I'm not with her. She has my hoodie, she can text me at any time, and we'll see each other at classes next week (we go to the same uni)

 

So I'm reaching out in my first post. What can I do to help my babygirl?

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Hi :)

 

Would I be right in assuming that you're a relatively new couple?

 

Finding a daddy who is attentive to your needs can be really rather overwhelming. It's such a precious thing to find, and as a little you're already making yourself so vulnerable in any case, there's often a natural level of anxiety and fear that things are going to go wrong, especially at the beginning. 'Sub drop' is also a very real thing, and I think there's probably some of that in the mix too.

 

I personally think that the best thing you can do is reassure your little. I don't believe there's such a thing as too much reassurance :) Tell her how much of a fantastic time you had, reminisce, and talk to her about what you might want to plan for the next time you have such a special day together. Perhaps suggest that she has a think about some activities you could do next time, to give her something to focus on and look forward to, and ultimately to reassure her that this was just one of many such lovely days that you'll spend together. If you don't already, giving tasks/activities for the time you're not together in any case can be a really good idea. She might also be someone who struggles to feel little without their Caregiver around, so anything you could do in that respect (e.g. encourage her to watch cartoons, drink from her sippy, get under a blankie, draw a picture for you - or whatever she likes) might be helpful. And maybe if she had some other little friends she could talk to online, that might help?

 

Many/most littles worry about seeming too clingy, so it's really important that you don't reinforce this worry (not that it sounds like you have done that at all, but I'm just saying). The more she trusts that you're not going to disappear, that you really want her, and that your super nice day together was just one of many - I would hazard a guess that the anxiety and upset she feels in this context will taper off somewhat.

 

Good luck. I'm sure you'll be fine :)

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Guest Daddy-Tom
You could get her a special stuffie to cuddle when you're not around, and if you wear cologne you can use some on the stuffie so it smells like you. You can leave your babygirl a special voicemail or audio text message so she can hear your voice anytime. I'm partial to reading bedtime stories over the phone until she falls asleep
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What your little is feeling is very normal. I have been in non-DDLG relationships and my partners have felt the same way. I feel it is a good thing for her to feel that way. It just tells you how amazing the time she had with you. As long as her missing you does not get in her way of living her life I would just comfort her the best you can. One thing you might do is sleeping together on the  phone or on skype.

Just know that her strong emotions will change each time you have to separate. 

I hope this helps.

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You could get her a special stuffie to cuddle when you're not around, and if you wear cologne you can use some on the stuffie so it smells like you. You can leave your babygirl a special voicemail or audio text message so she can hear your voice anytime. I'm partial to reading bedtime stories over the phone until she falls asleep

Funny thing is I already did that when we first started. Its a big plushie cat named Mochi  :D

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Guest Aetherr

sounds to me like your little had a stimulating day full of a dopamine rush and as soon as the day came to an end she immediately crashed

 

as has been said above its perfectly normal to come down after an intense experiance and the best you can do is be there for her and use any forms of aftercare she prefers

 

i saw this and immediately thought of sub drop if you want to know more about it, google "sub drop"

 

its what happens specifically to a submissive after a play session when the hormones and sensations stop and their body tries to adjust to it

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What your little is feeling is very normal. I have been in non-DDLG relationships and my partners have felt the same way. I feel it is a good thing for her to feel that way. It just tells you how amazing the time she had with you. As long as her missing you does not get in her way of living her life I would just comfort her the best you can. One thing you might do is sleeping together on the  phone or on skype.

Just know that her strong emotions will change each time you have to separate. 

I hope this helps.

I slept on the phone with her last night as well!

 

I feel like a natural! Jeez, already done two of these suggestions on my own. But still plenty to learn obviously <3

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sounds to me like your little had a stimulating day full of a dopamine rush and as soon as the day came to an end she immediately crashed

 

as has been said above its perfectly normal to come down after an intense experiance and the best you can do is be there for her and use any forms of aftercare she prefers

 

i saw this and immediately thought of sub drop if you want to know more about it, google "sub drop"

 

its what happens specifically to a submissive after a play session when the hormones and sensations stop and their body tries to adjust to it

I think that is what's happening. Giving her plenty of aftercare and she seems to be doing better now. :3

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Hi :)

 

Would I be right in assuming that you're a relatively new couple?

 

Finding a daddy who is attentive to your needs can be really rather overwhelming. It's such a precious thing to find, and as a little you're already making yourself so vulnerable in any case, there's often a natural level of anxiety and fear that things are going to go wrong, especially at the beginning. 'Sub drop' is also a very real thing, and I think there's probably some of that in the mix too.

 

I personally think that the best thing you can do is reassure your little. I don't believe there's such a thing as too much reassurance :) Tell her how much of a fantastic time you had, reminisce, and talk to her about what you might want to plan for the next time you have such a special day together. Perhaps suggest that she has a think about some activities you could do next time, to give her something to focus on and look forward to, and ultimately to reassure her that this was just one of many such lovely days that you'll spend together. If you don't already, giving tasks/activities for the time you're not together in any case can be a really good idea. She might also be someone who struggles to feel little without their Caregiver around, so anything you could do in that respect (e.g. encourage her to watch cartoons, drink from her sippy, get under a blankie, draw a picture for you - or whatever she likes) might be helpful. And maybe if she had some other little friends she could talk to online, that might help?

 

Many/most littles worry about seeming too clingy, so it's really important that you don't reinforce this worry (not that it sounds like you have done that at all, but I'm just saying). The more she trusts that you're not going to disappear, that you really want her, and that your super nice day together was just one of many - I would hazard a guess that the anxiety and upset she feels in this context will taper off somewhat.

 

Good luck. I'm sure you'll be fine :)

Thank you!!!

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I so agree with @Aetherr, and didn't connect the dots before he said that it is like one form of sub drop. And like with subdrop: prepare prehand to that event. Could think one would be super happy as you were just able to meet but my experience too is that I'm either grumpy ( all good ended *tantrum* ) or just somehow wrap into myself and/or just feeling empty.

 

Leaving is normally super quick situation, just suddlenly the other person is gone. So, try to somehow make the shift less sudden and drastic ( like with the calls and extra attention ). Also the "normal" subdrop actions like bubble bath, comfort food, nice movies...

 

This remainded me of one old thread:

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/35173-ldrs-the-good-the-bad-the-ugly/ (SFW, I think...)

 

It's super long but there is part "The ugliest" which describes how horrible parting from your loved one can be. There also is some advice.

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