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A switch?


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I've been wandering if I'm MAYBE a switch? I know that no one can decide that for me. I just want some opinions from others.


So.... I really love being a little. I'm a very child like girl. I love being the sub. I love the thought of my future girlfriend being a Dom. I like the edgy looking hot girls.


But I also love the cute littles! Like Melanie Martinez!? (I have no idea if she is in the ddlg community, but yeah...) She is so cute and I'd love to just hold her cuddle her!!!


I guess I'm just a girl that likes to comfort her significant other?


I've just started to be a little more open minded on maybe having a mommy that's a switch?


I guess this is the question I'm asking, am I switch if I'm okay with my partner being a switch?


Labels don't really matter to me, but I'm just curious.

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Honestly, as a switch, my best advice is simply to see if you like to hold her hand and cross the street(other tiny things work too) if the answer is I want her to hold my hand and make sure I'm safe you're a little, if the answer is I want to hold her hand and make sure she's safe so we cross and she can flounce and not how to worry about big thing you're a cg, wanting both is what really makes you a switch. 


I mean, again, in the end it's up to you, but for me it's like that. IDK hope that helps

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I guess this is the question I'm asking, am I switch if I'm okay with my partner being a switch?

Okay, so, in my opinion that on its own wouldn't make you a switch yourself. The same way dating a bisexual or pansexual person and being okay with their sexuality doesn't make you bi or pan yourself.


Switching (and feeling satisfaction from the roles you take on) is what would make you a switch.

Like zanderandspike already said.


Now since you want a monogamous relationship, there might be circumstances where it'd be unfair of you to be with a switch when you're not open to switching roles yourself. That's why switches will often be with other switches who have a complimentary Dom/sub ratio but it depends on how your hypothetical partner feels about that.


Just like in other things, communication and knowing your individual wants and needs are the most important thing here.


To illustrate that point: Personally, I'm a switch but my ratio is skewed heavily towards being a sub. I could probably not be a full time domme for anyone but I'm pretty sure I could be happy exclusively subbing in a long-term relationship. That doesn't mean I have absolutely no interest in domming anymore but in a similar way that I can be happy not cheating on my partner(s) even if I'm attracted to other people too, I can go without domming.

In contrast to that I feel like I absolutely need the release that subspace gives me.

Those feelings might change in the future, but that's where I'm at right now.


I would say for the most part different behaviours will get me into a different headspace. There are doms that I wouldn't want to submit to. The dynamic, the individual style, the stuff you're into - everything has to match up to a degree where everyone is happy in the end.

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It's a complex question and one that can be quite difficult to answer because people will have a lot of different criteria they use to decide what labels to apply to themselves.


Personally, I'm not a switch at all. I like comforting my partner just not in a dominant way. My Daddy does have a very small submissive element that comes out every couple of months and when it does I will take a dominant role for a couple of hours. That in my eyes is still not enough for me to call myself a switch. I have no interest in being dominant but I can be for a few hours for my partner.


I don't derive pleasure from being dominant but I DO derive pleasure from pleasing my partner. To me there is a big distinction, I think switches derive satisfaction from being both Dominant and submissive (my opinion only and may not apply to everyone). Whereas someone who is Dominant or submissive may be able to play the opposite on a limited basis for a partner based on the pleasure their partner gets versus being in the role itself. Not sure if that makes any sense, I'm very tired.


At the end of the day I might suggest worry less about labels and focus more on what makes you happy. Si long as you can express yourself, your desires and interests to a partner I think that has more value than trying to decide if a subjective label is useful or not.


Just another perspective.


Little kaiya

Edited by Little kaiya
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