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Stuffies from EX


JellyBean_Cherry
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Hi!

So I am currently processing a break up from my DD of 3 years. The relationship did not end well and I'm lost as to what to do with my 2 main stuffies from him. I am very attached to them, however they are still strongly associated with him. Seeing as he hurt me bad, the association is not great. 

I have a penguin from the beginning of the relationship and a build a bear that I've always seen as our baby. I don't wanna huwts their feelings weaving them all lones or abandon thems  :(

Any tips on how to detach them from him or anything like that would be greatly appreciated. 

*glitter* JellyBean

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I think I kinda know how you feel.

My ex that I was with for about 3 years, gave me a giant stuffed wolf for our first Valentine's day, being that wolves are my fav, it's also my favorite stuffie.

 

I had thought about getting rid of it, but I love it too much. It brings back memories, though. But maybe that's not completely a bad thing?

 

If you can get passed that they are from him, you will be okay.

 

But if you can't, and you think it would be better, than get rid of them?

 

I have some things from a few ex's, I still love the things and I have fond memories associated with them.

 

Maybe try to look at it through a positive light? It can be hard, but if you love those stuffies and want to keep them... Then keep them! ^-^

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If you truly do not want them in your life, I am sure there are plenty of needy children who would love them as much as you have.

The other thing you could do is put them away till a time you can emotionally handle seeing them with out feeling anxious.

One other thing is to keep them in the open and slowly not allow their presence to control your feelings of him. Even though he hurt you

those stuffy's may force you to confront that hurt and not let that hurt be in control of you but teach you to be in control of the hurt.

It might be therapy and allow you to release the anger and hurt you may be feeling. In that way you heart will be truly free and you may feel chains

being lifted that can suffocate you and hold you back from being the person you want to be.

Maybe talk to the stuffy's about your feelings as you might to a therapist and you could feel your pain slowly be lifted.

 

I hope this helps.

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Guest TokidokiHelloKitty

If you truly do not want them in your life, I am sure there are plenty of needy children who would love them as much as you have.

The other thing you could do is put them away till a time you can emotionally handle seeing them with out feeling anxious.

One other thing is to keep them in the open and slowly not allow their presence to control your feelings of him. Even though he hurt you

those stuffy's may force you to confront that hurt and not let that hurt be in control of you but teach you to be in control of the hurt.

It might be therapy and allow you to release the anger and hurt you may be feeling. In that way you heart will be truly free and you may feel chains

being lifted that can suffocate you and hold you back from being the person you want to be.

Maybe talk to the stuffy's about your feelings as you might to a therapist and you could feel your pain slowly be lifted.

 

I hope this helps.

 

I wanna like this post, but can't cuz I ran out of likes.

 

I like this post

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Guest Aetherr

my advice? box them up or out them in a cupboard somewhere you wont check often and keep them there, when you are over your ex and are able to see stuff related or owned by them and it not getting a negative reaction then go look for them or know you will likely stumble upon them and you will see the good memories and feeling and value they have as sentimental items and not as fresh reminder of what could be but wont be

 

good luck and dont forget everyone heals in their own way and in their own time, just do what you can to survive and you will do great!

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I was given all kinds of things from an ex, these things including my favorite paci and a unicorn stuffie. I wasnt attached to the stuffie much because i begun to hate him. He was a douche. I started hating being little and I hated the stuffie and I didnt wanna suck on the paci.. 

 

But then I realized, "Hey, just cause he was a bad daddy and boyfriend (or in this case that we were split up) doesn't mean that I can't still be my little self. I'm not gonna let him have the satisfaction." 

 

So I gave my stuffie to my niece (whom I call my sister.. shes so smol) and I kept the pacis. (The child loves unicorns and she kinda took it from me so I let her have it.)

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I still have stuffies from my exes. I've learned to disassociate the association with said person.
I have given thought to sending them back to him every now and then but honestly... he couldn't take better care of them than I would  :p 

You could build up a new relationship within your stuffies and ramble to them about how you feel, the raw unwanted feelings and the happy times (don't forget to ramble about those!) , you'll start to replace those memories you made with him and make new ones with your beloved stuffies through recovering hardship. Maybe take on new adventures and hobbies with said stuffie by your side so you can evolve with your stuffie... you get the gist of what I'm saying!

Break ups are super hard, especially with sentimental pieces like stuffies, pieces of clothing, gear, things generally bought during your relationship... but things don't have to be limited to a handful of memories and meanings.
Remember, your stuffies are also healing from this separation so they more than likely know what you're going through! Comforting your stuffies and your stuffies also returning the favour can help boost your healing!

 

Best of luck to you and your stuffies  :heart:  ^_^ 

Edited by Maids
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I love the idea from @Maids. If stuffies were real animals ( like a dog ), you wouldn't even have to consider getting rid of them as it seems pretty ridiculous. And the-example-dog probably would have lot to do with getting over the break up in good way, so why stuffies couldn't do the same?

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My little has both gotten rid of and kept stuffies.  She explained it to me like this: It's like if someone introduced you to their friend, you thought they were nice and wanted to be friends with them too.  The next day, you and your first friend have a big fight and are not friends any more.  You'd probably forget about the new person you just met cause it probably isn't really worth the trouble to get to know them now.  Same with new stuffies.  But if that first friend introduced us years ago and then we developed our own relationship with them...well then, they are my friend now and they're staying my friend.

 

Hope that helped.

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Guest crazycatdaddy

It can be hard to untangle feelings like that. If you're very attached to them, perhaps you could find a way to put them out of sight for a while, in storage, until the rawness of the break-up has passed? It's not always good for your mental health to see something every day that reminds you of your ex at a time when you're trying to get over whatever has happened. I still have a number of possessions (including a teddy bear, he's called Frank) that either belonged to my ex while we lived together or that she'd given me as gifts. But we've been apart a long time and I no longer associate those items with her, so maybe all you need is a little time.

 

It can definitely be satisfying to get rid of an ex's gifts or leftover possessions, though. When I got divorced I spent a lot of money buying new stuff for the house - I got everything from new plates and cutlery to a new mattress and bedding so I wouldn't have to touch things that she'd touched. In the beginning, the initial days after she'd left, that was important to me. I gave away a lot of things to charity, hopefully at least some of which were recycled. And some other things went into storage. Maybe it seems silly to go to such an extreme but at the time I felt it was necessary.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've had this with things that ex partners have given me like personalised engraved wallets and stuff which i did have to give away to charity as couldn't very well keep a wallet engraved with 'Love you always, Emma xxx' when she binned me 3 weeks after giving me it but hey ho. Point is if there's a personal engraving or message that is a constant reminder of the person then maybe letting go to charity is a good thing.

 

On the other hand if they are just gifts and they continue to give you and have given you pleasure and enjoyment then there's no real reason to part with them if you can focus on the pleasure and happiness they give you. If you are having negative thoughts and feelings when you look at them or hold them, or they remind you of sad times deffo good to part them for a short time and fill yourself with good memories and happy feelings. Your stuffies will know you won't stop loving them even if you pop them away for a few weeks

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