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Caregiver's ghosting, is it common?


Pupperoo
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Heya!

 

For the past couple of days I've chatted with a whole bunch of caregivers, all whom contacted me first. We have a nice, long conversation, seemingly get along and chat about everything between heaven and earth. Then, in the middle of a conversation, they just stop reading my messages and won't read them at all.

 

Is this common for caregivers to do? Because at this point it's hard to not feel like I am doing something to put them all off. All I do is being my cheery, little self.

 

Thoughts? (I realize you can't possibly know what happened in each case here, but at least it'd be nice to know whether or not others get this a lot.)

 

Thank you guys ♥

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Guest crazycatdaddy

I'm afraid it's quite common. Ghosting happens not just with caregivers, but with littles too (I've had similar experiences plenty of times). And it's not exclusive to CG/L, it happens in practically every online dating situation. I try to see the silver lining and say that I'd rather find out what someone is like after a few hours or a few days rather than spend a lot of time with them and get emotionally invested only for them to show their true colours. If someone is ghosting you, chances are they're immature and not ready for a meaningful relationship, so really you're better off not wasting your time on them. It's never fun to be ghosted, but try not to get discouraged. The right caregiver is out there!

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I see what you mean, but in these cases it wasn't even a matter of a relationship. Literally just nice conversations, befriending each other. Nothing in any of the conversations was about future relationships or dynamics between me or them. That's what it's even more puzzling to me :/

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Guest gakiusagi

I agree with crazycatdaddy. I've also been on the lookout for the right CG for a while and it's happened twice. It makes me even wearier when starting to chat with somebody new, but it's best if you move on and take your time to heal. It's understandable that some people might get scared and not have the courage to tell you how they feel, so it's easier for them to just cut ties. 

*glitter*

And please never think that you're doing something to put them off! You're doing your best, for sure, and that´s what matters.  :heart: 

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I'm guilty of this in a way. I'll go to reply to someone, but something may get in the way and keep putting it off. I'm not on here to date though so my personal messages can wait, hehe >.>

When you first start having a conversation with someone, and the replies are long, you're connecting, then all of a sudden someone stops replying, I feel like that's life. You know? Maybe they'll respond in a few days, or perhaps they found someone else, their real life got busy, they didn't know what to say, it could be anything.

I don't believe ghosters do it maliciously.

Another reason, it could be their personality type. I struggle with keeping in contact with friends because sometimes I'll need time to recharge from socialising and what not.

It is common, but it's not just caregivers, littles, or BDSM in general. You'll probably find it similar on vanilla dating websites.

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As a daddy I apologize to any little that has been ghosted.  I also have been ghosted numerous times by littles. My words are to all daddy's though. Please be an adult and tell a little that you are chatting with if you are going to leave the conversation.  I would assume most of the times it is because the daddy does not feel a connection. Lots of times in any relationship men can be cowards when it comes to breaking it off. They are afraid of the personal hurt it might bring. Let me tell you all daddy's the hurt you cause by ghosting is far greater then any words you could tell the little by breaking off the conversation.

I hope my thoughts make sense

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What Alaskan Daddy said kinda hits the nail on the head. The others obviously have a valid point and like Stella said they may not do what they do maliciously. But I feel like when dealing with Littles, or BDSM subs, in general it's -really- important to let them know why you are intending to stop replying. Some littles/subs are not as emotionally invested in this as others, but this is so much different than dealing with a vanilla dating situation, or befriending in anyway. There is far more fragility and vulnerability here, right?

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What Alaskan Daddy said kinda hits the nail on the head. The others obviously have a valid point and like Stella said they may not do what they do maliciously. But I feel like when dealing with Littles, or BDSM subs, in general it's -really- important to let them know why you are intending to stop replying. Some littles/subs are not as emotionally invested in this as others, but this is so much different than dealing with a vanilla dating situation, or befriending in anyway. There is far more fragility and vulnerability here, right?

 

I absolutely agree with you. As a little, I do tend to get attached way more than I should do. Especially if I have opened up about my 'little space', and been little around them. I do feel these very raw feels.

 

I know it sucks, but we're all still adults, and we have to accept it and move along, despite our little side having a full-on tantrum.

 

Stiff upper lip.

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Guest BabyPeach

People are fickle these days. I don't start conversations because I'm not good at keeping up with them, hehe. If I'm talking to a CG on a more serious level, then I ask up front that they do not ghost and neither will I. It's common courtesy to be an adult and say it isn't going to work for whatever reason.

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What the above posters said; ghosting's going to happen no matter what. (Sometimes I'm actually glad it happens because 'conversations' just get that boring.... *cough*)

 

With that said, try to do your best to vet people before accepting friend requests. I know that's kind of like locking the door before you've even opened it to see who's on the other side, but checking out a requester's profile and posts before you accept helps to give an idea of who they are. (ie: long winded, serious, short winded, whimsical, etc...) It can give you hints whether you'll have good conversations or not, and often peoples' profiles will have some indication of what they're looking for on here which for some may just be a partner and when they find that person, they disappear. That's just an example of why someone may ghost despite you having pretty good conversations.

 

As for ghosting being a common experience... I'm not sure! I haven't received/accepted many friend requests on here, and of the ones I have, haven't been meaningfully ghosted consecutively within a short time span. Look for people who seem interesting or cool on the forum and friend request them! Chances are, when you get a friend request often times it could just be someone mass requesting people and just seeing who will reply. (I think this is particularly the case when it comes to people that are looking for a partner.)

 

There are for sure some decent CG's and Littles on here! Don't get too down about the bad apples! ^^

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Guest Daddy-Tom

I see what you mean, but in these cases it wasn't even a matter of a relationship. Literally just nice conversations, befriending each other. Nothing in any of the conversations was about future relationships or dynamics between me or them. That's what it's even more puzzling to me :/

Maybe that's why. They didn't feel "a spark". Btw I loathe when people say that. It's so wishy-washy

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Guest Ella'sRedBoots

It's very common. But in a way, maybe a good thing? A 'daddy' who can't communicate directly isn't a real daddy. So at least you've not wasted any more time. Just remember, you deserve to be loved and treated with respect in life, no matter what age you are. Big hug.

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Maybe that's why. They didn't feel "a spark". Btw I loathe when people say that. It's so wishy-washy

 

I'll be honest. If a Daddy ditches a conversation after just a little bit simply because he didn't feel a ''spark'', I worry for whoever agress to be their Little. That Littles rush into these things because we are needy and emotional (not all of us, obviously) isn't new, but a Daddy should be the reasonable, steady voice of reason. The Daddy should always be aware of the fact that this lifestyle, or dynamic, isn't something that should be decided on a whim. It takes proper dialogue and communication to figure things out after all. So when a Daddy looks for that ''spark'' it just feels to me like they look for that one Little who agress to everything right away, you know?

 

It's very common. But in a way, maybe a good thing? A 'daddy' who can't communicate directly isn't a real daddy. So at least you've not wasted any more time. Just remember, you deserve to be loved and treated with respect in life, no matter what age you are. Big hug.

 

Thank you! And like I said just above, I totally agree with your sentiment. I feel like I am old enough, or mature enough, outside of Littlespace to handle the ghosters and the screening process, but far from all Littles are. It really does scare me knowing how wishy-washy these ''CG's'' are when Littles tend to be so very vulnerable.

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