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Hi! Im sorry to bother everyone, but I need some help. I know that I really want to have a daddy to take care of me and that I listen to, I also sometimes act much younger then my age and love cute things like stuffed animals, Disney and pacifiers.  But I have never been in little space before and I dont always want to act younger then my actual age. Does that make me a bad little, or maybe not even one? I dont know how this really works because I have never been in a relationship before or have had a daddy, but can someone here point me in the right direction. Im really confused and I dont want to hurt someone by not being good.

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Guest Daddy-Tom
Of course you're not a bad little. I'd wager 99% of people don't want to be little 24/7. Nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't know Daddy space if it bit me. Maybe I'm just always in it? Idk. But of course there's nothing wrong with acting your age
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Daddy and I don't have all the answers and we dont claim to but we'd like to offer some thoughts.


1) there is no "one right way" or "true way" to be a little or be in a DDlg relationship. If anyone tries to tell you that, our suggestion, run the other way as fast as you can. If a Daddy or a little uses terms like "a real Daddy" or "a true little" . . . RUN.


2) DDlg, like anything should be unique to the individual or to the couple or in the case of polyamorous people to the people involved. Not all littles regress. Not all littles go into littlespace. That doesn't make them any less a little. If you identify as a little then you ARE a little.


3) the objective idea of "good" or "bad" littles or "good" or "bad" Daddies is silly to my Daddy and I. If you are single and your behaviours, likes or activities make you feel good then that's what's important. If you are in a relationship and your behaviors make your partner AND you feel good then that's what's important. The key is really communication before, during, after, and continuously. It helps to avoid false expectations and people getting hurt. Open, honest communication isn't a magic cure all but it is REALLY important.


3) as for the "right direction", it will be different for everyone but I'd first try figuring out what you want. What type of dynamic interests you? Do you need in person or prefer LDR? Is it non sexual or sexual for you? What are your likes, desires, negotiable, no negotiable, soft limits, hard limits? Will your Daddy be a romantic partner? Are you ok sharing a Daddy or not? Only you can find those answers but I suggest reading the resources, reading threads, getting involved in discussions and conversations or the chat.


Lastly, do not be in a rush. I can not overstress this enough. There are a lot of littles and Daddies too that jump on the first person to message them. Get to know the other person as a PERSON first, not just as a role. Find out if you're compatible, it's not a race. There are a lot of folks that jump on the first person then a month later, if that, are posting asking why it's not working.


DDlg is a type of relationship so ALL the other relationship rules still apply. Like we said earlier open, honest, respectful communication isn't a magic cure all but it certainly starts things off with a strong foundation.


My Daddy and I dated before formally bringing in DDlg to our relationship. I'm now his collared, submissive little and he, my wife and I couldn't be happier but it didnt happen overnight. Finding the right person and right relationship really is more important and rewarding than finding any relationship.


Little kaiya

Edited by Little kaiya
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There is no such thing as a 'cookie cutter little'.  As with any relationship just be yourself. Be the person who lives inside your heart. 

And you will find the right daddy that will give you the care and love you desire. You will find lots of willing people here to help you .

Good luck in your search.

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Try reading through the forum threads! There are dozens upon dozens of posts just as the one you put up and on them each are wonderful suggestions. Reading through threads helps me think through my identity and I'm sure it will help you more than anyone else can ever tell you because you know yourself best! Seeing others' journeys to self-discovery is a great way to start you on your journey to thinking about yourself. ^^

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I totally understand where you're coming from, friend. I have had such a struggle with this same issue for so long, but it is important to remember you're not alone.

As other's have said already, there is no "right way" to be a little. On certain days I find this almost discouraging because it doesn't help me understand my identity and I'm still left directionless and with more questions than answers. I don't experience little space so often to be able to identify it and I'm bad at following rules that are given to me. This made me ask myself the same questions you are asking yourself right now. 


But I try and remember that I am just me. I don't need to fit a stereotype to be me. I'm here, on this forum and among these people because I FEEL like I belong here and this makes me happy. 

You can be the adultiest adult out there, a badass CEO of some company who is in charge of every aspect of her life and still call yourself a little simply because you like to maybe watch Disney movies in a footie pajama on the weekends. Being little is whatever you want it to be, and whatever you feel it is. 


You are not a bad little, and you are never "not enough" little. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 

Like the others have said, I suggest you look around on the forum, read topics, and maybe even make a few friends. Trust me, it'll help you ease your spirits ^-^

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  • 2 weeks later...

Don't feel bad at all. I've been a little for a while now and every now and then I get a little worried that it's a bad thing or that I should just act my age. And then my Daddy reassures me that he likes me little and it makes me feel better. Your little space is YOURS. Every little is different. Every little likes different things. There are plenty of littles in this community that don't act little and that's 100% okay. Please know that you are not alone. There are so many wonderful littles out there who are in the same boat as you! There are no guidelines or standards that you have to meet to be a little, just as there are no standards for a ddlg relationship. Everyone is different which I think is an absolutely beautiful and awesome thing! Don't feel as though you have to rush into your littleness. Explore it. Take some time.


In terms of finding a relationship, I'd highly recommend talking to a Daddy regularly first (as in not going straight into a ddlg dynamic). Get to know the person and find out if their compatible for you, and suit your needs. As I said before, every ddlg relationship is different. There's no cookie-cutter way to be in ddlg. As long as you're both consenting adults, you're grand! 


Be sure to have a look through other forum posts and threads. You may find some things that other people have said about ddlg or littleness really helpful. I wish you the best of your luck with your littleness. Embrace it! It's truly fun and lovely. 

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