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Caregiver/Little switches; 2 in 1. I got questions!


Pupperoo
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Okay, I've always been curious about this so I figured I'd ask.

 

I see there are plenty of people in this community (CG/l in general, not the forums) that are both a CG and a Little, often having a seperate CG for themselves and a seperate Little.

How do you guys handle that? For me, as a Little, the bond with my Daddy is extremely important to me and very emotionally binding. I am not sure I'd be happy if my Daddy also went into Littlespace and had a CG of his own, because then it'd feel to me like he wasn't always capable of ''protecting'' me. I hope that made sense.

 

Personally I am a person with a very dominant nature, but I have a very distinguished Littlespace. I think that I could care for a Little same as my Daddy cares for me. I just don't understand how you manage to compromise between three people and handle it emotionally.

 

Also, please remember I am not judging, I am simply trying to understand. Like I said, I've always been curious.

Edited by Pupperoo
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My Wife, Daddy and I get that question a lot, not so much from a Caregiver/little perspective but from a polyamorous perspective. We get asked how we can compromise amongst the three of us. All I can say is it isn't a compromise, it is a discussion full of mutual respect and love, just as I would imagine the situation you describe above would be.

 

It takes communication, discussion, clear boundaries and agreements between the people involved, whether that's between two people, three or more. I dont think the number of people really complicates matters so long as all parties can have that conversation in an open, honest, loving and supportive manner.

 

Now, to be very clear, I'm not a switch and could never see myself being in that role. I will rarely, think less than 2% of the time, be a big brother when my Daddy's submissive deer fursona comes out but it's something we had to discuss as adults first. We were able to find an arrangement that meets his needs and respect my limits and comfort level.

 

If my Daddy decided he wanted to be a little more frequently with a Caregiver I would prefer it be my wife but if not I'd prefer it be someone else versus with me. It's not that I couldn't handle it emotionally, rather I love him so much that I would want his needs meet in the most fulfilling way possible. Since I'm not a switch I wouldn't be able to be the best caregiver possible for him. I love my Daddy too much to deny him something he needs and I love myself too much to do the same to myself.

 

Honestly, I think for people that aren't switches it would be easier to have a third person involved. It would allow for established personalities and roles to be respected.

 

If finding a third was the best solution then I would be ok with that. Luckily, that isnt our case, but i can easily see where a more frequent dominant, switch having their own caregiver makes a TON of sense.

 

No matter what, communication is key and if that's what work for the people in that relationship and makes the happy then more power to them.

 

Little kaiya

Edited by Little kaiya
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I am a Daddy Dom almost 99% of the time, but there are some few-and-far-between days that cause me so much emotional and psychological strain that it causes me to go into my little/pet space.  This isn't a side that comes out lightly and has only presented itself in one of my past relationships (she was also a switch, but predominantly a lg/sub) as well as some of the impossibly hard days in my single life.  In your case, you might find that you can comfort him in little space - there doesn't necessarily have to be a third person involved in your relationship.  When this happened in my previous relationship, we would just share little space together and have a good time.

 

Not everyone is a dom or sub 100% of the time but with a strong relationship between people, you can certainly make it work without making things "too weird" for either of you.

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I'm new to this forum and as my signature implies, my partner and I switch--well, sorta? We're still needing a collar for me and my so's full fox gear and we just joined the ddlg/mdlb crowd. We do switch as sub/dom though! We're still figuring it out, so I'm going to follow this topic. If I can think of anything useful to add or if you have any questions, feel free to message me or comment. <3 

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Guest crazycatdaddy

I think that the relationship dynamic you described, where a switch will have a little and a caregiver and will speak to both depending on which headspace they're in, is only one way of approaching being a switch. The other is for two switches to be in a relationship together, and "share" their different headspaces with one partner taking on the caregiver role while the other is in littlespace, and vice versa. Without meaning to make a pun, they switch. The only switch I know personally is in this kind of relationship and isn't into polyamory at all. It obviously varies depending on the individual and since I'm not a switch myself I'm not really able to answer further.

 

All of us need to be clear with any potential partner we meet about what our limits are, and if one of your limits is that your partner needs to be yours and only yours, well that's totally fine. As long as you're up front with people and explain that you aren't looking for a switch or a poly relationship, there's no problem. I don't think anyone will feel judged by that. I actually state quite clearly on my profile that I'm strictly monogamous and not interested in being a babysitter or being involved with someone who has another partner. It's personal preference - everyone has them!

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I think there has been misunderstandings here. I appreciate that people went out of their way to respond, but my question was entirely related to the situation where there are three people involved. I understand that a switch could potentially do both roles in the relationship between two people, so that's not what I was after here.

I guess I should've specified that I meant a polyamorous situation, but that's not entirely what I meant anyway. I know some people are in platonic CG/l relationships as well, and some simply do multiple romantic relationships.

So to reiterate; my curiousity lies in those that can go back and forth between little and big headspace and keep both a CG and a Little (two seperate people) happy, while not going down the emotional gutter themselves.

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