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YOUNGER Daddy with OLDER little


Guest Looby-Lou
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Guest Looby-Lou

What are people's thoughts and/or experiences with an Older little and Younger Daddy set up?

 

I'm early 50's and have had response to my personal ad from guys of all ages (thank you), but some are in their 30's and 20's, which astonished me.

 

Doesn't this turn the DDlg dynamic on its head? I'm old enough to be their mother IRL.

I'm fairly open minded, but how would this work?  I'm sure my submissiveness is in response to someone's personality not their age, and my littleness is part of me always, but even so!

 

And there's a lot to consider for a proper relationship.

For starters, someone so young might well want to start a real life family. I don't want to do that at this stage of my life.

We're at different stages of life in almost everything, even if we have shared interests. So how does it work?

 

Someone in their 20's or 30's simply has much less life experience than someone older, and that can make a big difference too.

 

  • Anyone had experience in this set up?
  • Why would a young guy be genuinely interested in a much older little? (not talking here about DD's who randomly reply to every personal)

I like to challenge myself, and not get stuck in preconceived ideas, so hit me with it!

 

(oh & anyone who Friend Requested me and wants to reply here just as a general topic? please go ahead.. you don't have to say anything personal to me & I won't publicly reveal any Friend Requests I've received)

Edited by Looby-Lou
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Guest BabyPeach

Yes, yes, yes, hehe! I'm 46 and Daddy is in his late 20's. So far, it is incredible. You might read some older Daddies saying that younger Daddies lack life experience, etc. to be a good Daddy. Not so. Now, I will say that not every young person is going to be the right Daddy for you, nor is every older person. You need to find someone who clicks with you and everyone isn't going to. This is the real world, hehe.

 

Of course, if you are looking for a life partner, meaning you are looking to find a Daddy who you will move in with and form a life together for the rest of yours, then you might want to go for an older Daddy. My needs are different than that. Although, do I think it could possibly happen for someone? Sure. I have a friend who is in her 50's and her husband is in his 30's and they're happy together (not a DD/lg relationship) and have been for years. The thing to keep in mind is that these days many relationships just aren't going to be until death do you part, but you're old enough to know that.

 

As far as age goes within the dynamic, little me is 3 so anyone is older, hehe. Even for adult me, I am submissive and Daddy feels "older" than me even though he really isn't. This dynamic has nothing to do with real age as far as Daddy/little goes.

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Hi,

 

Let me start out by saying it is a relationship dynamic that wont work for everyone but it certainly can work. I just turned 41 a few weeks ago and my Daddy, well, he turns 20 in a couple of months. Weve been together a year and a half as of this upcoming Sunday. I'm his little / boyfriend and girlfriend (I'm genderfluid) / his collared submissive.

 

Now, on to your questions. I can only share our experiences so take them for what they are which could very well be more of an exception than anything.

 

(1) Does it turn the DDlg dynamic on its head?

 

Not at all and not for a single minute. My Daddy, even at 19 years old, is very mature and very naturally paternalistic. He will often do things that father's do for their children without even thinking about what he's doing. He's not a young man just playing a parental role to make his partner happy it is a deeply ingrained personality trait for him. Do I ever catch myself thinking about the age gap, I'd be lying if I said never, but it is very rare and usually more when he's not around and I've had a stressful day. All in all it isnt an issue honestly because of his maturity and personality.

 

2) How does it work being at very different stages in life?

 

It works quite well but it does require some compromise and communication. My Daddy, Wife and I have had the talk about kids and are all on the same page so that one isn't an issue for us. Being at very different points in our careers has come up, parties and drinking has come up, etc. Our solution, talking about it. I've always been cognisant to encourage him to experience those things he wants at his life stage and not to hold him back. He's a bit of an old soul in a young man's body and that again shows in his maturity and interests. Any issues we've talked through and a year and a half later we are still very much in love with a strong relationship.

 

(3) Why would a younger person be interested?

 

Here's where it can get complicated and tricky. When my Daddy and I first started dating my friends and family thought he basically HAD to be a good digger looking for a sugar Daddy. That was VERY easily proven wrong in our relationship. He will barely let me buy him dinner let alone anything else. He pays his share on trips, he does chores around the house, he NEVER asks to borrow money and buy me more things than I buy him. If he's a gold digger he's doing it very wrong. Conversely, his family and friends thought I was that awful word people incorrectly will think about Daddies. After they got to know me over time they realize it is not and never was correct. Are there younger people looking to date older people, and vice versa, for less than positive reasons, I'm sure there are and that's why not jumping into something right away and getting to know each other is CRITICAL.

 

So, why is he interested, in his words, "because I love your compassion and empathy, you accept me for who I am, you're smart but also have a childlike wonder, you're fun, funny an silly, you're hot, really, you complete me and I love you."

 

My wife and I never went looking to be in a polyamorous relationship but we are. I never went looking for a Daddy but I have one. I never sought a younger Daddy, much younger to be fair, but I have one whom I love and who loves me and my Wife.

 

Life is a funny thing and often never turns out how you plan but if you know who you are, truly know, and stay open to possibilities it can turn out in incredibly special ways.

 

Little kaiya

Edited by Little kaiya
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Guest Looby-Lou

Thank you both for sharing with such honesty & warmth. It's really helped me.

 

Originally my personal said that I was open-minded about age...meaning maybe a DD in his 40's. So the replies from 20 & 30 y.o. came as a surprise to me to say the least. 

 

I've got friends from age 32 to 97, and I thoroughly enjoy the diversity that brings into my life. Just it's a lot to get my head round for a longterm personal r'ship and that's what I'm looking for.

 

But yes, of course it's about individual people and THEIR connection.

I do know one guy IRL who I'd go out with in a heartbeat - and he's about 30. He's way ahead of his years in all ways & definitely brings out the sub & little in me! Sadly he's not available LOL.

 

Thanks again for your thought-provoking responses.  And I'm so happy to hear you're both happy in your relationships  :wub:

 

Looby  :)

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If you want to chat about it further or ask questions feel free to send me a message. My response was long, I'm in HR so I like to talk lol, but there is a LOT more if you're interested.

 

It's a dynamic that still sadly has a stigma attached to it, even in the DDlg community, but I say do what makes you happy.

 

Little kaiya

Edited by Little kaiya
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Guest Looby-Lou

...Of course, if you are looking for a life partner, meaning you are looking to find a Daddy who you will move in with and form a life together for the rest of yours, then you might want to go for an older Daddy. My needs are different than that. Although, do I think it could possibly happen for someone? Sure. I have a friend who is in her 50's and her husband is in his 30's and they're happy together (not a DD/lg relationship) and have been for years. The thing to keep in mind is that these days many relationships just aren't going to be until death do you part, but you're old enough to know that.

 

As far as age goes within the dynamic, little me is 3 so anyone is older, hehe. Even for adult me, I am submissive and Daddy feels "older" than me even though he really isn't. This dynamic has nothing to do with real age as far as Daddy/little goes.

 

Yes, I'm looking for a fully rounded relationship i.e. boyfriend-girlfriend with DDlg, as it would be my only r'ship. I couldn't have a life partner e.g. a vanilla thing, and then have someone extra in the Daddy role. 

It wouldn't work for me, but I can see how it would be great for someone who can manage it. I just can't juggle my emotions like that, I get too attached. Plus I'm a sexual little and I'm monogamous so it wouldn't work on that level either to have an extra person.

I can exist in a vanilla relationship with no D/s (I'll always be a bit little whoever I'm with, even if there's no DDlg).

But I can't exist in a DDlg r'ship which isn't also boyfriend-girlfriend and aimed at longterm.

 

Looby  :)

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Guest Looby-Lou

Little Kaiya, your long response was helpful and very interesting!

 

I'm also very wordy so no worries there LOL. I do know when to shut up (just about), but I really believe in talking things out, being as clear & honest as possible - and that takes words.

 

Looby  :)

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Guest BabyPeach

Yes, I'm looking for a fully rounded relationship i.e. boyfriend-girlfriend with DDlg, as it would be my only r'ship. I couldn't have a life partner e.g. a vanilla thing, and then have someone extra in the Daddy role. 

It wouldn't work for me, but I can see how it would be great for someone who can manage it. I just can't juggle my emotions like that, I get too attached. Plus I'm a sexual little and I'm monogamous so it wouldn't work on that level either to have an extra person.

I can exist in a vanilla relationship with no D/s (I'll always be a bit little whoever I'm with, even if there's no DDlg).

But I can't exist in a DDlg r'ship which isn't also boyfriend-girlfriend and aimed at longterm.

 

Looby  :)

Oh, I only have one partner and that's Daddy. I don't date/have sex with multiple people at once. I would possibly consider having a sister in the future with Daddy since I'm bisexual (if he could handle two littles, hehe). Then it would be more poly, I guess.

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Guest Looby-Lou

Oh, I only have one partner and that's Daddy. I don't date/have sex with multiple people at once. I would possibly consider having a sister in the future with Daddy since I'm bisexual (if he could handle two littles, hehe). Then it would be more poly, I guess.

 

 

Yes, me too -  I can only have one man in my life. And that's why it has to IRL not online. And not international!

 

Sorry BabyPeach, probably I had misunderstood your earlier post (about "having different needs"), hope I didn't offend you xx

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I've never really understood how people can have a platonic Daddy or Caregiver. Im sure there are people who have that kind of a relationship but I couldn't separate the strong emotional intimacy I need to be fully vulnerable as a little and the desire for physical intimacy those feelings create in me. I don't need to understand it to respect their feelings though.

 

I also don't understand LDRs either, which isn't to say I look down or those people who are in them. I need physical contact too much to ever even consider an LDR. It's a growing phenomenon though so who would I be to dismiss it, nobody, that's who.

 

I'm sure there are lots of people who dont understand being in a polyamorous relationship either. My wedding ring and day collar are equal levels of commitment to my Wife, Daddy and I. They are symbols of a life long commitment to one another through good times and bad. Before the day collar was even an idea the three of us reflected individually then discussed as a group if this is what we all wanted and the answer was a resounding and emphatic, YES.

 

Relationships are a funny thing and there will always be people who want to judge other's relationships whether on age, gender, sexual orientation, number of partners, distance, open vs. closed or whatever else. I find alot of those people are either unhappy in their relationship, jealous or just in general unhappy people.

 

Heck, our relationship is complicated, I won't lie:

- A closed, committed triad with 2 married, 2 dating, 2 non sexual emotionally romantic

- 42, 41 and 19 years of age

- Cis gender/ transgender/genderfluid,

- Hetero / Pan / Pan

 

We get a lot of raised eyebrows and even outright hate, oh well. Find that connection, be true to who you are, love fully and be happy. Never let anyone, including your partners, tell you what is a "good" or "acceptable" relationship. Certainly listen to them but the final decision as to what's right for you can only come from you.

 

Little kaiya

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I've had a few younger Daddies, but none so young that I could be thier mother. That's just a nope for me. They were all wonderfull mature men, and I only felt old when we discussed music or movies. LOL I think it's about connecting, and finding a gap that doesn't make you feel oogie.
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Guest Looby-Lou

i've never heard the word "oogie" before. i love it!

 

Yes, sometimes discussing world events or films/music etc. can show up the age difference, but I've not found it matters.

It's more what stage of life someone is at that matters to me... and their general maturity & DD qualities!

 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)

 

Looby  :)

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Mine is almost 7 years younger than me. I never notice or even think of that he’s younger than me because he acts so mature and always takes care of me in every way. He is a perfect daddy
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