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Little in need of help


Fairy-princess and daddy
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Hiya fellow littles and middles and subs. I've been in a relationship with my daddy for around a year and things have been going really well for the both of us. We love the same things and he generally makes me laugh and smile and doesn't hate me for having health issues. But today I was punished for something i admit is my own fault and i can see why he did but he was out all day shopping with he's parents and he asked if i went to be on time because i was so tired (my bedtimes 10pm on weekdays and 11pm on weekends) and me being honest i said no as i went to bed around 2am, so he said i'm in trouble and i apologised and for around about 30 minutes i had no contact and i had to get my little friend to tell him i wasnt okay so daddy messaged saying he was still shopping and he would be home soon which usually is fine with me. but one thing i noticed is that it took him over an 1hr to get back to me and then he asked if i would do it again, i said no and he said lesson learnt. 

 

and i'm now thinking whilst very upset that he used the fact i suffer really badly with anxiety and i hate being alone against me as a form of punishment that i never ever agreed upon. 

 

is it right the thing my daddy did or am i just in the wrong and over thinking? 

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Guest Aetherr

if you didnt like it then its not okay, you need to have an adult chat with him about how even though you had to get a friend to message on your behalf he still ignored your needs, if he was still shopping then you cant really expect him to drop everything for you.. its nice is people do but you shouldnt expect it

 

not contact as a punishemnt is usually not okay, you made it clear it was not ok and he ignored you and you need to make him aware of that

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If your partner is using your anxiety against you that isn't ok. You need to have a serious ADULT talk with your partner and establish what is acceptable and what isn't okay.

 

The fact your friend could reach him but you couldn't certainly suggests it was an intentional action on his part rather than just being busy shopping.

 

Lastly, it sounds concerning that your friend was acting as a go between for you and your partner. If that's something you had both agreed upon previously the fine not my place to comment. If you hadn't discussed it previously it certainly suggests the presence of a communication issue that needs to be addressed above and beyond the existing issue of him using a punishment that had not been mutually agreed upon.

 

My Daddy and I had that conversation and for us ignoring one another or withdrawing our presence like that is too much like withholding love and that is a MASSIVE hard limit for both of us that we respect without question.

 

Little kaiya

Edited by Little kaiya
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You need to have a serious sit down with him, ignoring anyone sub or not and specifically a person that has anxiety issues as a way to punish them is not okay. And if you didn't agree upon a punishment and he did so anyways AND didn't see if you were okay afterwards, that is toxic. You need to have limits discussion and if there is just one more time he does this to you, GET OUT. It is NOT right what he did, and you are not over reacting and you are not wrong. Your feelings are valid and you deserve to be respected and loved. Stay safe sane and consensual my little friend. 

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I believe as with all punishments, it must fit the crime. My punishment would have been something like writing lines. In my opinion your struggles should never be used against you. That is a huge violation of trust. It is something you would expect from someone in middle school, not from someone you have entrusted your emotional care to. You should have a real adult conversation and let him understand how this made you feel deep down inside your heart.

This conversation can also be something that brings you guys closer if he is willing to open his heart and feel your pain.

I hope this helps and I wish you all the luck in the world.

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Guest Looby-Lou

... In my opinion your struggles should never be used against you. That is a huge violation of trust...

Words of wisdom.

I'd like this on a bumper sticker for everyone to see. 

 

To the OP, I hope you and your Daddy sort things out as you say that mostly you're happy together.

Is it possible he didn't understand how anxious you were with the extra hour he was out of touch?

 

You stayed up several hours past your bedtime, so maybe he truly thought it was an appropriate punishment. Have you spoken to him about how you feel?

 

He knows you suffer with anxiety and hate being alone, but maybe he didn't know that one hour was pushing you too far? Have you both been very clear with each other about exactly what "being alone" means for you?

 

 

I hope things go well for you both!

Looby  :)

Edited by Looby-Lou
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Update:

 

Me and Daddy have spoken about his "punishment" he gave me and he said that he didn't realise how badly it affected me and when I went to see him I had a lot of aftercare, so me and daddy are okay now. 

 

And my friend only got involved because when I'm in trouble I have the tendency to be too scared to talk to him so I made that clear and we're working on resolving issues that happened during and after his punishment. 

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