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Daddy gives another little all his attention/love?


iambatman2000
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*Edit... thanks for the advice... unfortunately he dumped me before i could try to fix things...*





Hi. I've been a ddlg relationship with my Daddy for almost 7 months. Things have been rough, i get jealous very easily, especially around his other female friends. (I've been cheated on several times before him and he knows this.) But something has been bothering me a lot lately and i really really need advice : :(. So basically, my daddy is talking to another little. And it's not just that, but he's talking to her all the time. She even gave him a nickname.. "tigerkitty" and he had the nerve to set his nickname ON OUR CHAT to that and he expects me to call him that! He's ditched me several times to call her instead of calling me. Like just now it finally set me over the edge. I said "Can u call dada?!" and he said "later tonight" so i got frustrated cause i wanted to call him now but i just ignored it and went on with my day. A few hours later i ask again. He says "oh, im otp with my friends right now. and both you and Amaya (her name) want me to call you guys" so i responded with "okay... but i'm more important because i'm your girlfriend?". He responded with "meh, but i like talking to her". That hurt. Then I said, once again, "okay but im your girlfriend" and he said "But i promised her.." AND I SWEAR TO YOU, if i had a dollar for everytime he promised to call me THEN DITCHED ME FOR SOMEONE ELSE i could buy every single kitten on earth and still be filthy rich. so i said "....oh" and he said "yeah. tm ig" idek what tm means, tomorrow i assume? BUT it doesn't matter. He should want to call me everyday? Plus i wanted to call him today that's why I asked, TODAY. And I when i try to confront him about things he gets angry at me. I'm currently sitting in a corner crying violently. I feel like i'm just a burden and i really don't know what to do anymore and I just need help. Somebody please help..

(sorry if their are misspells or it's confusing, i'm just not mentally stable right now. And he's just making me worse. I love him, i really do but idk if it's mutual anymore)

Edited by iambatman2000
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Okay.

Well... That seems suspicious to me.

If he is giving someone else attention and can't give you that much attention or MORE... I dunno... Doesn't sound right to me.

And he gets mad that YOU'RE hurt?

That's rather unfair.

Maybe try getting him to talk to you- a serious talk. And if he can't take it seriously and realize how much he's hurting you...

You deserve more.

You deserve to be happy.

If he is treating another girl like she's more important than you....

I'd leave, Hun...

 

Best of luck to you!!!

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Guest DollyGirly

I agree with CryBabyUniWolf. As his little, you should be his priority, especially if you tell him you really need to talk to him. Remember, people can only treat you how you let them treat you and he is not treating you well or fairly.

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I totally understand you feeling hurt. Being ditched repeatedly by somebody you love and trust is awful. He's certainly not treating you very well. :(

 

I would have a very serious talk with him (if you can get him on the phone) and find out what's going on with him. Tell him it seems like he's dating this other girl instead of you. I mean, dismissing your concerns like you don't matter to him is not a good sign.

 

Good luck and we're all here for you.

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It appears you are not a priority to him anymore. I would never tell you what you should do, but if you read your posting with an open heart you will know what you should do.

If I was in your shoes I would pull myself away from him the best you can and not try to contact him. If he allows you to pull away and not go after you then you will truly know that his heart has moved on. If he does go after you I would set some ground rules that makes you the apple of his eye.

I wish you the best of luck, I know how hard this is for you.

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You as his little should be always the priority. If he's unable or unwilling to prioritise, he's not up to being a daddy. You should feel safe about him, especially if you're in any power exchange relationship like D/s.

When you say you get jealous easily, is this the type of thing you're talking about? If so, it's not jealousy, it's expecting respect and him holding up his end of the deal.

Even in poly relationships, there are agreements about these things.

Maybe try to write some stuff down for him about what concerns you and make some time to discuss it. If he's unwilling to do that, make the demands on his time easier. Better to have nobody than someone who makes you sad and worried all the time.

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There's a quote from the movie The Devil Wears Prada that I think applies here: "the person whose calls you always take? That's the relationship you're in." Take that how you will, but just know that you're allowed to (and should!) have healthy boundaries in a relationship, and if those boundaries aren't being met, it's okay to end things. From the sound of things, he's having an emotional affair with her or it's headed there quickly. The fact that he's not willing to talk to you about your concerns is a red flag, so I'd really be thinking about if this relationship is salvageable if this is all the new normal.

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Sometimes people find themselves stuck in relationships because they feel like being treated like shit is all they deserve but from the sounds of it you realise you deserve more than him and you already know you need to leave. 

if a partner upsets you, and you speaking to them like an adult about it results in them getting angry and raising their voice and shit it's abusive and a situation you need to get out of.

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As someone who is strictly monogamous, I would absolutely not be okay with this if I were in your shoes. Does the other little know that he's your daddy?    

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The same thing almost happened to me, I've been cheated on so I get really jealous

I got jealous because my Daddy and our common little friend (I introduced her to Daddy) were getting too close for my own comfort (they sexted)

But then Daddy reassured me that I am his priority and that he would never have done it had he known I would react like that.

 

Tbh I don't know if I could stay with him if he didn't tell me I'm more important and that I'm his priority both my friend band Daddy respected that I expect a certain distance from them.

 

Have an adult talk with your Daddy.

If your Daddy and his friend don't respect your boundaries and your Daddy doesn't make you his priority, umm I think leaving is better. You don't deserve that.

Edited by lil.prinsesa
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I'm not gonna sugar coat it so sorry I'm advance; LEAVE. HIM. You are his baby, if he's willing to give all of his attention to someone else then he's not worth yours. You can do so much better. You don't deserve the heart ache and he doesn't deserve getting to be with you.It will probably hurt to leave him, but once the initial pain is gone it will feel so much better. I'm here if you ever need a friend.
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Guest SugarSweetBear

It sounds like he's not being very nice! Especially being mad you're hurt. Have you tried expressing that?

It seems you deserve better if that's how he acts

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  • 1 month later...

A real daddy doesn't talk to other littles. The same way a real man doesn't look for other women. If he isn't ok with talking to you and you alone he might never be ok with it. You should always be his priority. I understand if you just started talking to him that he might not be sure if you're the right little. But after 7 months he should know if you are, or aren't, right for him. If he is still with you but looking around still, he will (almost guaranteed) never stop looking around. Everyone deserves to be loved for who you are. You deserve to be loved ALONE without any others involved. I can have 15 littles message me and it means nothing. I won't talk to them without my Munchkin, I won't message them alone, she is my life and my priority. Remember that. YOU should be PRIORITY.

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Relationships are going to be very different for different couples. There is no one "right" way for a Daddy or little to behave. The idea that a "real" Daddy acts a certain way is restrictive and in my opinion misses the very important concept of individuality. What may work for one couple may not work for another. I think what is most important is that everyone, whether that's two or more, in a relationship is on the same page through honesty and strong communication.

 

This idea that someone should ONLY love one other person and that's the only "right" way ignores, devalues and discredits polyamorous relationships that can be just as committed, successful and loving as monogamous ones. Just because having one partner works for some people doesn't make it some magical standard for everyone.

 

I would say the issue arises when people in a relationship have conflicting views so if one person wants 100% attention and commitment and another doesnt share that view. Everyone should be entitled to live their relationship as they wish so long as it's healthy, respectful and meaningful to those involved.

 

Just my two cents as someone in a closed, committed, loving, polyamorous relationship with my wife of 13 years and boyfriend of almost two years. It just gets tiring when I keep hearing people tout monogamy as THE standard that EVERYONE should follow instead of AN option that is equally valid as any other option.

 

Little kaiya

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Guest Christian324
I think you should tell him, which it sounds like you're doing. If he can't help meet your needs it sounds like it would be best to move on and find someone who does. You and everyone deserves and should expect that. I'm in a weird place as I'm poly. But I think even then we work for the benefit of everyone and respect the feelings and needs of all involved.
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