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Question for Mommys/Daddys & Littles


Guest Mei Mei
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Guest Mei Mei

I have an important question,

 

Exactly how are mommy/daddys supposed to approach little ones?

 

&

 

Little ones, how do you like to be approached?

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I don't know if there is a set way to approach a little. As a daddy I always approach in a way I would want to be approached. I also know lots of little are shy, so I try to keep the conversation going by asking lots of questions that require more than a yes or no answer. I would hope that any mommy or daddy would always approach a little in a gentle respectful way.

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Well, I don't typically show my little side until I get to know someone. So I want them to just start a nice and respectful conversation and than it can go from there.
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Guest DollyGirly

The general approach for someone looking for a long term relationship is adult to adult first and little later. Just like vanilla relationships, getting to know someone and determining compatibility is important. There's no reason to throw little you into the mix before you even know if you get along well adult to adult (unless you're not looking for long term, etc.). The little/caregiver bonding should come later.

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Are we talking in general or a specific cg/l setting?

 

Cause in general I would rather be approached as an adult. I have my Daddy, and no issues with interacting with people as a little after consent has been gained, but I would hate to be approached initially by a cg-type or d-type as if I were a little as it feel condescending and disrespectful. Now within a specific cg/l setting, sure, no issues with a cg-like approach as it makes sense for that given situation.

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To me it's important that I know something about the daddy/mommy before we start chatting through their profile. Then it means a lot if they approach without immediately going into the whole daddy/little stuff, but just start an actual conversation and try to make it a bit less generic than most conversations you get on websites like this.

 

It's important for a mommy/daddy to really show they are responsible and have a strong sense of ethics when approaching littles, I think. After all, the little needs to be able to feel they can trust you even with simple stuff, such as sharing names and pictures. Don't be too pushy with personal information (giving and requesting), pictures and rules and so on.

 

I hope all that made sense. I think there is more to it, but my brain is at a stand still right now ^_^

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Personally, I just want to be approached like a friend. I want to be treated like a normal human being, not someone to fulfill a fantasy or a role. If I interest you, tell me what interests you. Prod me on my interests. Get to actually know me!
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I've never been in that situation to be honest as I've only been in a DDlg relationship with my wife of 13 years and my Daddy of a year and a half. And with both of them a strong relationship and bond was formed first.

 

That said, if someone approached me as a Caregiver it would turn me right off. If they used little or pet names it would result in me backpedaling so fast it would set the grass on fire. It would come across as just incredibly assumptive and arrogant to me.

 

Daddy, Mommy, little are titles that are earned to me once a relationship progresses to a certain point. They aren't something to be assuned and especially not in the getting to know someone phase. If a person started calling me pet names at the start it would make it feel like I was just a role and not a human being that they wanted to know and care about.

 

I always wanted to be and, luckily perhaps, was treated as an adult first. Being treated as an adult first to me shows genuine interest, respect and a willingness. Without that it feels like the person just wants to dive into their wants and desires without seeing me as a person. And that to me does NOT lead to a strong foundation for a living, lasting relationship that can survive the evolution of people over time and the inevitable hard patches that life throws at us.

 

Little kaiya

Edited by Little kaiya
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Little here.

 

Mine is not the best way, but I like to get right into the scene. I want to see how a potential mommy/daddy would act if we were to really do it. I have social anxiety so getting to know each other first as people is very hard for me to get through. Casual talk from my experience has mostly been superficial things that I care very little about. I find myself getting bored quickly with these talks. I find it easier for me to get a feel of the person if we were actually doing the roleplaying. Sure, sometimes i find that we don't match and we need to move on, but i find this way more exciting than sitting down and talking like 2 adults. 

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Guest Looby-Lou

Yes, I want to know that we can connect as adults and have some good banter, shared interests etc. And DEFINITELY please introduce yourself to me using your proper name, not Daddy-something.

 

But if an adult connection was all i wanted then I'd be on Plenty of Fish or Tinder. This pressure of saying "only speak to the little as an adult" and don't show your DaddyDom character? well I think that's like telling someone to go on a date and not flirt. More like a business meeting LOL.

 

So yes, i do want to see the Daddy side almost straight away. And the Dom side.  Just not in a heavy handed way. Certainly not telling me what to do, and not addressing me by pet names. Just maybe asking if i had good sleepies or asking about my favourite foods. And explaining to me what they like to do as a DaddyDom and what they would expect from me as a little/sub. 

 

Frankly, if the DD stuff isn't there, then there's no chemistry for me, because after all I'm looking for a DD not just a regular guy. 

 

So I like a mix of adult-to-adult and DD-to-little. And that's what I'd like IRL too.

 

I don't think there's an absolute right or wrong, it depends on the individuals. So IMO it's best to throw out a comment here and there and see how it's responded to. And that goes for the little talking to the DD as well.

 

Looby  :)

Edited by Looby-Lou
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It was the funniest thing but when my daddy and I met we immediately connected. It took less than a week before the dd/lg part of our relationship evolved but it was just so natural. 

 

I respond super well to very dominant men. They just start talking and I want to roll over and show my belly and do anything for a 'good princess.'

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My Daddy approaches me differently depending on the situation. If I don't feel good he is gentle and caring. If I am whiny he gives me this look of "what do you want" I hate that look. If I am being a brat he warns me and if I continue then I get punished. If another daddy figure approaches me I get kinda shy because my Daddy is jealous but when other daddies approach me I like them to be respectful of the fact that I am a married little and I only want one daddy.
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I'm quite shy around new people, so if someone wished to approach me it would have to be very carefully. Offer help with something I'm struggling with, talk to me about something we have in common, let me see you being kind to other people. The best case is sticking around me long enough for me to warm up to you and get used to who you are (like a coworker, roommate, volunteer at the same place as me, friend of a friend, etc).

 

If I even get a sense you might be into me before I've gotten there myself, I will back off and avoid you. Maybe this is why at 28 I still don't really have dating experience. I get scared off very easily. The internal alarm bells are very sensitive, perhaps too sensitive. I guess I must be handled extremely cautiously and gently so I don't run away.

 

Example: freshman year of college, some guy I'd chatted with idly a few times asked me to help him proofread his essay. While I was telling him about some edits he should make, he suddenly leaned over and tried to kiss me. I ducked my head automatically and said I wasn't interested, but then I avoided him for the next three years.

 

I'm hoping I make a friend one day who is very kind and sweet and our relationship just evolves naturally over time, but otherwise I'm afraid I'll never acquire a partner. Or I'll have to make the first move, which I'm not opposed to, but so far my few crushes have been completely unavailable and I've never even seen the point of confessing so I keep it to myself mostly.

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