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    Loneliness/I need friends


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    #1 Hopeisreal

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    Posted 02 August 2019 - 09:40 AM

    I’m not putting this in the friend zone because this is more than a request for friends. I moved back to my hometown after living elsewhere for 9 years. Most of the people I grew up with has either moved away or we are just in different places. I’ve been moved back into my hometown for about 9 months and I’ve made a few friends. And they are great for sure. But I need more friends I guess and it just seems so hard as an adult to find new/more friends especially if you’re a little more shy and don’t do the bar thing. I do want little friends but I also just want “adult” friends ya know. What are some things you do to find friends? Cause most of my friends are online. Connecting through social media. I need friends that are also actually in my “real life”.

    Edited by Hopeisreal, 02 August 2019 - 09:43 AM.


    #2 Nymph

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    Posted 02 August 2019 - 10:21 AM

    omg I was you a few years ago, then I met Daddy, we got married and had a child and forgot about it for a while due my hectic life... and just the other day I realized... oh wait, I made some friends! and of course I still don't drink or dance so no bars for me.

     

    I did have to start literally from scratch back home though, you mention you have some, no way to expand your circle through them? go to the movies, for a walk in the park, etc?

     

    One option is to actually look for old acquaintances in town and catch up, facebook is great for this. I did this with a girl I always thought was nice but we were not really friends, She was the neighbor of a cousin :/ so even though I knew of her existence since she was a child and got to play a few times when I visited she was basically a stranger.

     

    Find classes, any kind you might be slightly interested or something that you have never really thought of trying. Arrive a little bit early and don't rush out.

     

    Become a regular at a small restaurant/cafe. Not only you are treating yourself and relaxing the employees will start to recognize you and make a bit of conversation with you and eventually other regulars might (or you ask for some opinion or recommendation and you might get introduced to someone).


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    #3 Hopeisreal

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    Posted 02 August 2019 - 10:44 AM

    The couple of friends I’ve made are from work. They are so busy and we try to find time to hang out outside of work. But sometimes we just can’t always find time. Which is fine. I actually want to get involved in a yoga class or something but I’m not very comfortable with driving just yet (anxiety). But I guess that’s been the biggest challenge is just my anxiety over driving and going to like the cafe or whatever. I will say the friends I have made are very understanding about me not always feeling up to driving and that’s awesome. I will also say I want to be able to meet little friends who are in my area. But any friend is good ya know.

    #4 Bret

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    Posted 02 August 2019 - 03:36 PM

    What are your interests?  Chances are you can find a group of people who meet face-to-face on meetup.com

    I mountain bike, and kayak, and enjoy philosophy and chess.  There are plenty of groups out here to keep me really busy.  


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    #5 Itty bitty Lizzie

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    Posted 02 August 2019 - 06:38 PM

    I would maybe try what nymph suggested look for aquatices and the classes sound like a great way to meet some new people maybe painting or something if your into that stuff. Hope you make new friends
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    #6 Hopeisreal

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    Posted 02 August 2019 - 08:42 PM

    Once I get more comfortable with driving I’m gonna try yoga classes. I’d also like to get back into dancing. And I know those things will help me meet more people.

    #7 Nymph

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    Posted 03 August 2019 - 08:03 AM

    Once I get more comfortable with driving I’m gonna try yoga classes. I’d also like to get back into dancing. And I know those things will help me meet more people.

     

     

    I am not comfortable driving either so I look for places that have lots of options so I can just move around from there. I enjoy walking anyways, it relaxes me. The yoga class sounds great but don't rely just on it, perhaps making friends sooner will help you drive because you need to drive to meet them for example.

     

    You are already going to work and your schedule sounds free enough, is there anything walking distance to work (or home) that you can use? don't be afraid to go to places alone, as long as you are polite and approachable (say hello, be friendly, don't wear headphones) any place is a good place to make friends ^_^


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    #8 Hopeisreal

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    Posted 03 August 2019 - 08:22 AM

    I don’t mind going to places alone. I’m really introverted and like alone time but I also know that we as humans want to be around others. I have been going to the pool at my apartment and I do like going on long walks so maybe there is somewhere close that I can walk to or drive to where I can hang out at. Thank you for all your suggestions. I know a lot of it is just going to be me getting out of my comfort zone and all that. Oh and one of my friends I made here can actually swim with me on Friday so that makes me excited for sure.

    #9 Nymph

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    Posted 03 August 2019 - 08:55 AM

    Yay for swimming next week with your friend!

     

    I hope you find something close by that will work for you, I use google maps a lot actually. Sometimes there will be a great place really close that you have never noticed before because you always happen to turn a street before or after :/


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    #10 Hopeisreal

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    Posted 03 August 2019 - 06:08 PM

    Thank you




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