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    Question about ddlg


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    #1 PrincessJasmine_little

    PrincessJasmine_little

      Crying so happy I am here

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    Posted 09 October 2019 - 08:28 AM

    I have written this a few times and erased due to not being sure if I am saying right. So please forgive if this gets jumbled.
    My 20s are long gone, and 30s are but a memory. In my 20s, I was married to a gentle man more then twice my age. He took care of every aspect of my life. Everything I have read or watched about ddlg fits how it was. Tho we had no name for it. It was more like I was in need of a caretaker and he needed someone one to love. It fit, and it worked til the day it didn't and it fell apart.
    Forward 10 yes, now in 30s, I dated a man slightly younger but I found all those caretaking way in him and he didn't judge when I acted child like, which is how I tend to act when anxious, insecure, really happy, sad... Well all the time except when at work or around others that I feel unsafe w.
    I have a question. I keep reading that little space is a life style. And I am not sure that I am understanding. Is this a choice, like people see it and then choose it or is it more of its happens now there is a name for it.
    I have always just assumed there was something a bit OFF w me cuz of how I switch up between adult and act like a much younger person other times. W the baby talking and how I dress and the stuffies...
    Grr.. Sorry. I am struggling w this cuz I want to know is this something you guys just chose to do? Or is it more like just a part of you? I never really chose to act one way or not. If anything, I ACT ADULT LIKE, not the other way around
    .
    I mean no disrespect or anything. I felt relief when I found this forum, yet not sure if it's what fits me or? I don't know.
    Not going to reread what I wortw cuz I will end up erasing yet again.
    • Littlest_Bee likes this

    #2 Littlest_Bee

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    Posted 09 October 2019 - 01:59 PM

    First and foremost: Welcome!

    This is as much a space for people who are still questioning or just trying to get information as it is a space to find companionship and ideas.

     

    I know exactly what you mean about "acting adult" but feeling, well, "little". I wouldn't say that I chose this, I'd say that once I understood more about it, I embraced it as a part of me.

     

    Take care and good luck!


    • BabyBoop likes this
    Be careful with your words. They can only be forgiven not forgotten.

    #3 Little kaiya

    Little kaiya

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    Posted 09 October 2019 - 03:42 PM

    Did I choose to be a little, nope, no more than I chose to be pansexual, genderfluid submissive or polyamorous. It's just part of who I am as a person.

    As for it being a "life style" or not, well, like a lot if things, that really depends on the person. There are certainly people who come across Ddlg and decide they want to try it, others who identify as littles but only really use it in a bedroom sense or use it as therapeutic regression, others who live it more as a lifestyle when at home, while others live it as a lifestyle everywhere. One isn't inherently better or worse and they all have their pros and cons.

    For me, I AM my Daddy's collared little girl, 24/7, 365. I have a day collar that only comes off to be cleaned but I also have a play collar for other times. I am submissive to my Daddy always but it doesn't mean I can't function as an individual. Whether we're out in public with friends and family or alone at home that dynamic exists BUT it isn't obvious or in the face of others. It combines naturally who we are, the choice to live in that dynamic and so in that way it is a combination of an inherent trait in us and also a lifestyle.

    Try not to over analyze things, you are who you are and whether that's by nature or by choice both are equally valid.

    Little kaiya
    • PrincessJasmine_little likes this
    Little kaiya 💖🦊💖

    #4 LittleTeacup

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    Posted 09 October 2019 - 08:28 PM

    Being little has always been a part of my personality, since way before I had even heard of it being a thing. I never outgrew my comfort pillow I've had since I was a baby (I still sleep with it every night), I wanted to play pretend games outside well past the usual age for that, I cried when in high school my mom forced me to get rid of a lot of clothes she thought were "too childish", etc.

     

    After years of being told I was "too old" for various things, I tried to hide this part of myself for a while because I thought I'd be made fun of if people knew. I never completely succeeded because I remember stuff like crying on my senior class trip to disneyworld because I got overwhelmed and a friend had to give me a piggyback ride. But in college after freshman year I got my own single room and suddenly had a private place to be myself in. Eventually I let more and more of it out in front of my best friends who were accepting. I also eventually let it out more around my parents because what were they gonna do anymore? I had to be myself. I'd heard of ddlg several years ago, but didn't really understand it. I thought it was just people calling their boyfriends "daddy" in bed which wasn't (and isn't) my thing. But eventually I learned and was like "ah, I'm a little!"

     

    I choose to be myself, but I didn't choose to be little inside. I think when people say "lifestyle" they mean being a little isn't just a game for the bedroom, but something that's part of their whole life. We all of course have to take care of adult things sometimes, but those of us lifestyle littles might for example keep a disney princess hand mirror in their purse or wear a tasteful Winnie the Pooh necklace or funny socks under our long pants or color in the children's menu at a restaurant or look up at the stars at night or laugh a little more than the average adult etc. Maybe our job is to teach at a nursery school or children's museum where being childlike is a desirable trait.

     

    My job for example is environmental education at a ymca camp. I get to be outside every day! I don't often have to cook because I eat at the dining hall like everyone else. I get to be excited about what I'm teaching so the kids get excited too. I can find caterpillars and show everyone. I gotta be adult too like when kids aren't paying attention. I had to tell a kid I'd take his phone if he didn't put it away. And I'm responsible for safety. But a job like this still makes my little self so much happier than if I worked a generic corporate job (or worse one that harms the environment).


    • Littlest_Bee and PrincessJasmine_little like this

    Big age: 28

    Little age: 5-7

     

    Children don't worry what they look like to others. They are 100% themselves. When we get older, we learn to fit in society by submerging those parts of ourselves that our culture looks down on. We don't want to be rejected by our parents. We don't want to be rejected by our peers. Growing up may include re-embracing ourselves even if we must stand alone.

     

    Thank you for being here as I re-embrace the Self I'm meant to be.

     

    (Note: I'm not looking for a caregiver right now. Please don't ask.)


    #5 porcelainpoppy

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    Posted 09 October 2019 - 08:29 PM

    I feel the same. When I'm with my SO, totally comfortable, I'm almost automatically in "littlespace" all the time. It's when I feel pressure to "act my age" i.e. in front of other people that I am kinda forced to be more mature. My little persona (middle in my case) is just who I am to the core. 


    • Littlest_Bee and PrincessJasmine_little like this

    21 y/o / middle (12-15) / female / in a relationship


    #6 ~GlitterUnicorn~

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    Posted 10 October 2019 - 05:07 AM

    It's different for everyone I imagine, but most littles I talk to talk about their little self being their true self/ a big part of who they are. Im in little space almost 24/7 although my situation allows me that. 

    As to a ddlg life style - everyone lives it differently, some sometimes, some have the dynamic almost 24/7 ectera. 

     

    Being little has always been me. It's something I can't control, i cant control who i am nods


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