I need a serious opinion about someone, thank you!

[GlitteryMess]

Hey! So although I'm not new to the whole cg/lg and dd/lg thing I am really uneperienced because I haven't got a proper partner and I don't really know where to look, but there's this person that is super nice but then something happened and I want advice from someone who is a daddy or a little girl/boy to tell me if this is how things are supposed to be or if I should run as fast as I can from this person... Thank you! 

 

Edit: I'm the little, sorry for the confusuion!

Edited December 18, 2019 by PigtailPrincess

[SmolAetherr]

it depends, i cant really tell who is who but if you are the little in this conversation then the dominant ignored your needs and that makes me angry because that is not how a dom is supposed to behave, but at the same time some dynamics have the whole consent non consent thing so context is really important here and i feel like there is little/no context

 

 but if you were the little and you didnt discuss limits or you tried to talk to this dom afterwards to let them know what they did wasnt cool and they ignored you i would suggest you walk away from this dom

[Little kaiya]

We can only offer our personal opinions, my Daddy and mine, so take them with a grain of salt as we dont know you're relationship.

 

That said, what we read made us seriously concerned. Not once did the person check in to see if you were ok and just roleplaying or genuinely upset. Not once did they express concern when you were expressing reluctance. Without knowing what you negotiated beforehand and based solely on the screen shots it comes across as a MAJOR red flag to us from both a little and Daddy perspective.

 

If it was me I'd honestly be either having one SERIOUS conversation or if this isn't the first time I'd be blocking them and running as fast as I could.

 

This isn't a DDlg thing either, it's an issue of you saying you didn't want to and they kept pushing using what appears to be emotional manipulation to get their rocks off. Just our opinion.

Edited December 18, 2019 by Little kaiya

[Guest SHESACES]

Anyone who has your best interest at heart would never try to push you into anything in real life or pretend like in your texts, NEVER under any circumstances would anyone who is interested in you treat you that way. There are amazing men and women in this dynamic but for every one of them there are ten predators who want to get off in some form or fashion. Nothing about what happened in that scenario is ok.

 

I hope you are alright and if you need someone to talk to I am more than happy to.

[GlitteryMess]

it depends, i cant really tell who is who but if you are the little in this conversation then the dominant ignored your needs and that makes me angry because that is not how a dom is supposed to behave, but at the same time some dynamics have the whole consent non consent thing so context is really important here and i feel like there is little/no context

 

 but if you were the little and you didnt discuss limits or you tried to talk to this dom afterwards to let them know what they did wasnt cool and they ignored you i would suggest you walk away from this dom

 Thank you very much for the response! no, we did not agreed to anything and it really freaked me out, but I'll take your advice and leave, I'm sorry for making you angry though! It wasn't my intention and I really aprreciate the concern. Hugs <3!

[GlitteryMess]

Anyone who has your best interest at heart would never try to push you into anything in real life or pretend like in your texts, NEVER under any circumstances would anyone who is interested in you treat you that way. There are amazing men and women in this dynamic but for every one of them there are ten predators who want to get off in some form or fashion. Nothing about what happened in that scenario is ok.

 

I hope you are alright and if you need someone to talk to I am more than happy to.

 

Thank you very much for the response, I'm fairly new to all this and didn't knew what to do, also thanks for the offer youre really nice! Hugs <3!

[GlitteryMess]

We can only offer our personal opinions, my Daddy and mine, so take them with a grain of salt as we dont know you're relationship.

 

That said, what we read made us seriously concerned. Not once did the person check in to see if you were ok and just roleplaying or genuinely upset. Not once did they express concern when you were expressing reluctance. Without knowing what you negotiated beforehand and based solely on the screen shots it comes across as a MAJOR red flag to us from both a little and Daddy perspective.

 

If it was me I'd honestly be either having one SERIOUS conversation or if this isn't the first time I'd be blocking them and running as fast as I could.

 

This isn't a DDlg thing either, it's an issue of you saying you didn't want to and they kept pushing using what appears to be emotional manipulation to get their rocks off. Just our opinion.

 

Thank you very much for your response, I feel safer now that I get the opinion of both parts of the dynamic. I didn't thought about it as emotional manipulation but now that you pointed it out it makes a lot of sense. Thanks for the concern and I will block him and leave. Hugs! 

[Guest Daddy B]

Reading this post and many of the responses that were given it is great that so many show general concern in this matter. I agree with many of the opinions given and am glad you are taking the advice of leaving that issue. It is always good to ask questions in these matters especially when you are new to the lifestyle.  You will find most accepting of wanting to discuss boundary limits before progressing even into the role-playing realm in the relation.  I wish you the very best in learning more and not becoming scared away from exploring what truly makes you feel complete in this world.  

[Alaskan Daddy]

The rules of a DDLG relationship are the same as any relationship. You were being pushed into something that made you anxious and you did not want. This person was just thinking of his personal sexual gratification. The only advice I would give you and it is the same advice I give to every Little. "YOUR FEELINGS MATTER'!!   Any daddy who does not respect that is not worth your time. You are the only one who will look out for your best interests. The role of the daddy is to love, care, and nurture you, not to take advantage of your insecurity.

I hope this helps. Good Luck

[Guest Relentlessoptimist]

In your relationship, it'll be a negotiation, at the start, and also throughout. Daddys or doms get to propose things, and so should littles/subs - depending on the dynamic. People can agree to things, try them out, and if something doesn't feel right, then it gets re-negotiated. 

 

Also, i'm just starting to learn more about ddlg, but some people regress, get pulled into little space and can be more vulnerable there emotionally. As that happens, different rules might apply (i.e., no sexual interaction of any kind in little space, or only loving ... or... whatever you guys agree to. 

 

A dom should definatly check in w their little or sub, and if the little uses a safeword, or checked in with and gives a color (green is okay, yellow - close to the line, red - stop everything), that's how when someone might say no - we can still check in w them to make sure that they aren't just playing and that they are mentally and emotionally okay. 

 

It's okay to nudge boundaries, but you kept being uncomfortable, and he should've backed off and talked about it, rather than telling you 'this is how it's going to be', and 'thank me when i'm abusing you - generally, it's okay because i say it is'.

 

It's not. you are in a relationship, and that person as a daddy is supposed to be more protective and nurturing of you than in some other relationships. You get to negotiate everything, and whatever you don't accept, they can't automatically do unless it's something you want to try once to see how it is.

 

Also, emotional care and especially aftercare is important. They don't own you and you have to submit to them or their will, you give yourself (your time, energy, etc) to them willingly, and they are supposed to take care of you. 

 

What i read in your post wasn't loving, or protective, or within the bounds of the conversation. It's okay to roleplay and also push boundaries a little, but he didn't respect your feeling. And you mentioning this was causing you anxiety was a huge red flag of no that he ignored. 

 

He isn't fit to be your daddy or anyone's until he learns that lesson. 

 

Best wishes. You deserve better. Run away from them. And find someone who respects your boundaries.