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    Very Confused New Mommy

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    #1 VeryNewMommy5

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    Posted 21 March 2020 - 04:32 PM

    Hello!

    I'm needing some advice. As my topic says, I am very confused at the moment. Let me start by introducing myself a little. I'm 22 years old and have been in the BDSM community since I've been 18. I was introduced to DDLG first by my ex boyfriend, it was a terrible experience and I havent felt little since. I don't know if its trauma based or what but I've literally haven't felt like that ever again.

    So!

    Its been almost 2 years since my ex and I broke up and I got back in to dating and exploring my lifestyle. I've always felt very switch. I've always been dominant and acted as such. I've also been submissive but that rarely happens. I've always felt like my submission needed to be earned. Anyways, fast forward to today.

    I've recently been speaking a to a guy who happened to be a little/baby. We immediately hit it off, and he was the first person I really like "let" in. I met him when he was in little space and instantly felt the need to care and protect. So... I did. Been doing it and we had talks about what we wanted. I thought I'd be cool just being his caregiver but... I've honestly developed feelings for him because of how natural and free flowing we have been with each other. We've had one sexual experience when he was little too. So now, I've pretty much told him I like him and I wanted him to be mine but... He does not want to be. So now I'm very confused on what I'm suppose to do. He calls me, mommy and is very sweet to me all the time. Big and little space. So now my feelings are starting to get in the way. I'm not sure what I'm suppose to do in this situation because little him seems to be very dependent on me and he has a lot of past trauma his self with this particular part of him, so I don't want to hurt him. I'm scared to stop talking to him because I don't want to damage him further but I'm also sad that he doesn't really like me the way I do.

    I honestly never really put myself first in this situation and I do everything I can for him but am I selfish for talking to him still? Or am I wrong if I decide I can't detach that way? I don't know I'm very confused because I really do care for him and we have a very good connection. Or I think we do? I've asked him and he alwaya says I'm doing amazing and he loves everything I'm doing, but like I don't know. I'm just confused and need advice. This is my first little and I'm his first mommy and it's both of our first times really getting to explore this part of us. He's always been in to it and so have I.

    What do I do?

    P.S. He's been very open and honest with me. He's not mean at all, I truly believe it's my own fault I wasn't expecting to like him as much as I do and now I'm making it hard. I feel bad honestly, I'm suppose to be his mommy so he can not be stressed and be happy and I feel like I'm ruining it. I'm honestly sad and scared to lose him also. So just let me know. I kind of know the answer but I guess I gotta learn the hard way lol

    #2 queenjellybeanmonster

    queenjellybeanmonster

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    Posted 21 March 2020 - 08:41 PM

    first of all, thank you for bringing to light a really good topic from a perspective that isn't often spoken about --

    a CG catching feelings for a little and being "rejected".

     

    i want to start by reassuring you that this isn't your fault. 

    nor is it his.

    in fact, it's our of both of your control that you caught the feels, especially if you've both been upfront & honest with one another. 

     

    the biggest thing to consider here -- since it sounds like he clearly knows your feelings & you clearly know his -- is:

    are both of you comfortable & able to continue this dynamic knowing that it won't be more than this? 

    knowing how you feel about him, do you both consent to engaging in this without pressuring each other into changing? 

     

    if you can both do that, more power to you!

    if you can't -- that needs to be considered.

    sit down & have a frank communication about boundaries & feelings. 

    it won't be easy, but i think that's the next step. 


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    #3 VeryNewMommy5

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    Posted 23 March 2020 - 12:56 AM

    Thank you for replying and you're completely right. I guess I sort of tried but it came down to he wasn't ready and I understand that. So I am still speaking to him and we're still having our dynamic. I've also considered the fact that I just wasn't use to all the affection he gave so it just triggered me to feel that way but the more I think about it I think that's the main reason I caught feelings. I like him as a friend though honestly and well I feel okay as of now, if anything changes we both have said to just be open and honest if anything is wrong.

    So, I think we're okay as of now, it's trial and error for a little but right now knowing the exact boundaries and being as open as we are it seems to be okay and I genuinely feel okay, as soon as I thought from a logical point of view instead of an emotional one it became clear as to why I felt so strongly. Yes I still like him, won't go away in a day but we've decided that it's okay to speak to other people and whatever our needs are or wants can be explored. So I'm happy!

    #4 Batgirl

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    Posted 23 March 2020 - 01:52 AM

    I think everything queenjellybeanmonster said as advice is excellent. I just wanted to say you sound like a great Mommy and he's a lucky little. It's great that you're so open and honest, and trying to think through all aspects and trying not to hurt him or yourself. Big kudos on being so thoughtful and compassionate with him and yourself. It's definitely nobody's fault that you caught feelings. Sometimes that just happens when it wasn't intended at all and that's out of your control.


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