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    Safe word for CG/DD?

    safe word daddy dom caregiver

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    15 replies to this topic

    #1 clumsy_little

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    Posted 19 May 2020 - 12:43 PM

    It's all known that Little and Sub have a safe word if their DD/CG is crossing or on the verge of  crossing the limit. But what about DD/CG? We are humans and at some point have faced trauma. Shouldn't their be a safe word if the little might be triggering one of the not so good memories which they were trying to forget? Am I the only one who thinks that this lifestyle might need this update? Or does it violates the sole purpose of Dominant?


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    #2 Satan

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    Posted 19 May 2020 - 12:48 PM

    I believe the safe word goes both ways. I've never been one to say a caregiver can't have a safe word. We are all humans and all have feelings. There is no reason a caregiver can't also have a safe word.

    Edited by Satan, 19 May 2020 - 12:48 PM.

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    #3 MissPattch

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    Posted 19 May 2020 - 01:03 PM

    I've always been of the belief that safe words are for anybody who needs them. Caregivers can absolutely have traumatic experiences during scenes that require them to call a stop to proceedings. Just because they are Daddy / Mummy / Sir or whatever title, doesn't mean that all the rules don't apply <3


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    #4 clumsy_little

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    Posted 19 May 2020 - 01:08 PM

    In most cases while discussing rules, the first thing that's taken care or discussed about is a safe word for the Little/Sub. I never heard or come across a CG/DD having one and thought that some spotlight should be given on this topic too


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    #5 Little kaiya

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    Posted 19 May 2020 - 01:09 PM

    I would never do any kind of play with anybody who doesn't have a safe word. It was in fact one of the first things my Daddy and I discussed when we reached the point in our relationship that we started having intimate play.

    Safe words arent just about trauma. They are there to signal a need to stop and that could be for a lit of different reasons including psychological, physiological, etc.

    I think you'll find most couples in the BDSM world, including DDlg, have and advocate for all people to have a safe word, regardless of their role or self applied labels.
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    #6 LittleCelticLass

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    Posted 19 May 2020 - 02:48 PM

    I started out in a more traditionally BDSM environment, and I never heard of a Dom who didn't have one. I've even had one use it, because he was concerned about me being too far gone to use it myself. He was right. I firmly believe everyone should have one at their disposal.
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    #7 LittlePupRune

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    Posted 19 May 2020 - 06:20 PM

    Safewords are for all parties involved. When I was a Daddy to my ex I actually used it myself. I'm also a proponent of the stoplight system as its easy for everyone to remember and use.


    ~Rune (he/him)


    #8 pöxïë

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    Posted 19 May 2020 - 08:59 PM

    Basically just reiterating- it's always for anyone participating in the scenario.

     

    I'm curious, why do you think it's only applicable to the sub/little? Is this something others in the community have told you, or your opinion? M interested in the source for this.


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    #9 LittleCelticLass

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    Posted 19 May 2020 - 09:14 PM

    I'm curious, why do you think it's only applicable to the sub/little? Is this something others in the community have told you, or your opinion? M interested in the source for this.


    I would like to know too.

    #10 clumsy_little

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    Posted 19 May 2020 - 11:10 PM

    Basically just reiterating- it's always for anyone participating in the scenario.

     

    I'm curious, why do you think it's only applicable to the sub/little? Is this something others in the community have told you, or your opinion? M interested in the source for this.

    In the past, I have been with some daddies and none of them every talked about having a safe word for Daddy. The websites i went through didn't mention having a safe word for dom. I didn't think a lot at that time because my mind was occupied grasping everything.



    #11 pöxïë

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    Posted 19 May 2020 - 11:26 PM

    In the past, I have been with some daddies and none of them every talked about having a safe word for Daddy. The websites i went through didn't mention having a safe word for dom. I didn't think a lot at that time because my mind was occupied grasping everything.

     

    "Am I the only one who thinks that this lifestyle might need this update? Or does it violates the sole purpose of Dominant?"

     

    The strong emotions in the opening post somewhat implied weight behind the notion that Doms and CGs don't already have the same rights in BDSM and related dynamics as a sub or little. Which was news to those who have been involved in the community for a few years, hence the curiosity in where this was sourced from.

     

    I don't think the lifestyle needs an update, but I do think that people should knuckle down and put the time into researching and educating themselves more about BDSM (or its variants). It's important for both subs and doms to know their own and each others' rights. One of the most popular sayings in BDSM culture is "Safe, Sane, Consensual." Consent is removed if the rights of one party are removed.

     

    It is nice that you are considerate of your potential dom's feelings too though. I'm sure they will appreciate that you're thinking of others.

     

    Edit: For further reference, there's also something called Dom Drop. Which would be the instance where a dom might utilize their safeword during a scene. Or they may be feeling it afterwards. I hope that helps further confirm the existence of doms or cgs having safewords.


    Edited by pöxïë, 19 May 2020 - 11:31 PM.

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    #12 clumsy_little

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    Posted 19 May 2020 - 11:54 PM

    "Am I the only one who thinks that this lifestyle might need this update? Or does it violates the sole purpose of Dominant?"

     

    The strong emotions in the opening post somewhat implied weight behind the notion that Doms and CGs don't already have the same rights in BDSM and related dynamics as a sub or little. Which was news to those who have been involved in the community for a few years, hence the curiosity in where this was sourced from.

     

    I don't think the lifestyle needs an update, but I do think that people should knuckle down and put the time into researching and educating themselves more about BDSM (or its variants). It's important for both subs and doms to know their own and each others' rights. One of the most popular sayings in BDSM culture is "Safe, Sane, Consensual." Consent is removed if the rights of one party are removed.

     

    It is nice that you are considerate of your potential dom's feelings too though. I'm sure they will appreciate that you're thinking of others.

     

    Edit: For further reference, there's also something called Dom Drop. Which would be the instance where a dom might utilize their safeword during a scene. Or they may be feeling it afterwards. I hope that helps further confirm the existence of doms or cgs having safewords.

    Thank you for sharing this information with me. It's more transparent now



    #13 junebug0325

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    Posted 20 May 2020 - 11:23 AM

    Heya!

     

    I'm glad you're posting this, I think this is a really good topic that most people don't really think about or haven't talked about it. In my opinion, safe words go both ways. Just like there are limits for submissives, there are limits for Doms as well. The Doms also need to be able to end the scene for whatever reason, whether it be because they are having issues or they thing the sub is having issues and they need to stop immediately.

     

    My Daddy, personally, has never needed to use it but that doesn't mean he doesn't have too. If he is severely uncomfortable, or think that I have reached my threshold and I am in danger, he will call the scene. 

     

    Of course, this is something you should communicate to your partner before starting a scene and the safeword should be agreed upon by both parties. In our relationship, Daddy and I both have the same safe words so there's no confusion).

     

    Thanks for posting!

     

     

     

    Junebug xx


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    #14 BigDaddyDominant

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    Posted 21 May 2020 - 07:52 PM

    Absolutely agree! Daddy/Mommies need safe words just as much as our littles. We have our own past traumas though we find them a LOT harder to talk about sometimes. Though I have yet to use my own safe word I fully agree it should be both ways like many others here. You'd be surprised at the number of Daddy Doms/Mommy Dommes like myself that are uncomfortable to admit we have our own demons to bear. Though I don't think we need to revamp the system completely it should be again as many have said something both of the consenting parties can discuss.

    Being a guy you'd be amazed at how we are taught to suck it up and quit being a wussy. We need to tend to our own needs and mental health just as much as our little partners!


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    #15 clumsy_little

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    Posted 22 May 2020 - 01:32 AM

    Absolutely agree! Daddy/Mommies need safe words just as much as our littles. We have our own past traumas though we find them a LOT harder to talk about sometimes. Though I have yet to use my own safe word I fully agree it should be both ways like many others here. You'd be surprised at the number of Daddy Doms/Mommy Dommes like myself that are uncomfortable to admit we have our own demons to bear. Though I don't think we need to revamp the system completely it should be again as many have said something both of the consenting parties can discuss.

    Being a guy you'd be amazed at how we are taught to suck it up and quit being a wussy. We need to tend to our own needs and mental health just as much as our little partners!

    That's not good. I know how the maximum male population is expected to act tough, not show any emotions, what not. We are humans before being male/female. Some trauma makes you stronger, some makes you more conscious. That's why having a safe a word is really important



    #16 DaddysSweetpea16

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    Posted 02 June 2020 - 08:20 AM

    Daddy and I share safe words for bedroom type activities, but he has his own special safe word for when I’m being too bratty. I am bratty and Daddy tolerates this to a certain point when being playful, but during my very anxious and stressed out times I tend to struggle with listening. I panic and freak over everything, and just don’t listen. Daddy needed a way of recentering me when out in public while conveying to me that I was pushing too far and he needed me to remember that while yes I am a little, I am first and foremost his sub, and right now he needed my obedience. So we came up with our own unique phrase for him to use to help redirect me, that also wouldn’t be too obvious to the general public. It works well for us.
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