Help - 1st Face to Face Meeting with my Little Princess

[A1_since_Day1]

My previous experience with my little just happened naturally and lasted for years. It has been severed for a few years and now I'm experiencing renewed and exciting emotions with a soft and scared Princess. We have been communicating for a few months, via phone and text, and we are finally going to meet.

 

She is very small, shy and has multiple trust issues because of a previous relationship. Her previous "non" caregiver was abusive, both physically and emotionally. 

 

I am looking for some advice regarding this first face to face meeting. I want it to be a soft meeting so it will help build her trust in me and I'm not 100% sure that she will show up (but it was her suggestion to meet). 

My plans are to meet in a very public, yet, quiet place. She has told me her likes and dislikes. She has mentioned "smelly" candles as a favorite thing. So, I bought a little artisan, lavender candle as a gift. I don't want to overwhelm her.

 

Am I missing anything else besides just being natural? 

 

Suggestions appreciated.

[Littlecutecookie]

Go slow. Try to aproach in a friendly way, make her confortable. Let the flirting part happen naturally, and don't start with the meeting with it.

Try to look for her body language so you see when she's unconfortable.

Show her a smile, use a kind aproach.

To meet I recommend maybe a park or a small coffee shop. They're both public places but calm, beautiful, and they give an opportunity to talk.

Last thing I recomend, is tell her to bring a grounding object. Something she relies in when she's anxious. For me is a plushie, I enjoy hugging it. She can bring the object in her purse or something, if she ever feels a bit anxious. I think would help alot

[MissPattch]

When i met my Daddy the very first time, i was nervous as all hell, so i understand where you're coming from and its thoughtful and considerate of you to want to help put her at her ease. I made sure to tell a good friend that i was meeting a potential new partner for the first time, i told this friend his name, where he was from, where we were meeting and at what time, and made sure she had my number, so she could call to check in on me and make sure everything was going ok. Maybe see if she has somebody she can confide in about this meeting that isn't your self, the act of showing her that you care for her safety and well being is a green flag. Other than that, just let it flow naturally, no pressure on either party. Meet as friends first, and anything else will be a pleasant surprise ^^ Good luck, have fun, be safe

[MysticSand]

I think if she's shy, it actually may be more awkward to meet in a setting where you're expected to solely talk to each other. I imagine awkward silences could come up easily.

I would instead recommend an activity (where you can still talk to each other if you want to). For example, maybe going for a walk or bicycle ride, meeting at the mall and having a mini pre-arranged scavenger hunt, or bringing an "I Spy" book, or paper and coloring pencils to take turns drawing on the same piece of paper so that you draw together. Essentially an activity where the focus isn't to talk to each other and fill space, but rather to just get used to being in the same space and getting comfortable with each others' energies. Just a thought! 

[A1_since_Day1]

LittlecuteCookie, Miss Pattch and MysticSand, I want to thank each of you for the wonderful input. She has stated that she "has never been so nervous to meet someone" than she is to meet me (I don't know if that's a compliment or ...). I just love all the suggestions.Best to each of you!   

[Guest NewbieDaddy]

Well my scenario was very different but i talked to my little for 3? months before we meet up as she lived many states away from me. The first time i saw her i gave her a big hug and told her how cute she looked and that i hadn't realized i was that much taller then her and she laughed a little. It was slightly "awkward" at first as we are both pretty shy and overthink things but we decided to watch her favorite youtubers together and started laughing and slowly feeling that closeness we already had just now in person. 

Basically i wouldn't expect it to instantly click but as long as you just be who you are when you texted/called/whatever then you will both warm up to each other and enjoy the time together im sure.