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Daddy Dreams


freekittyx3

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It’s been almost eight months since I had to end things with my Daddy, who I’m still in love with. It was a situation where I knew I had to do the right thing, which is usually the hard thing to do. But I did it..and I still fight feelings of regret because being without him has seemed to kill a part of me. I haven’t felt the same since. I keep telling myself the usual stuff people say when you end a relationship, time heals, you’ll move on, there are more people out there. None of it seems to do much good, and if it does it’s temporary. Some days I can’t even stop crying, and those days it goes on all day long.

 

We talked a few weeks back after I reached out to him. I was honest about how I was feeling. He acknowledged my feelings and apologized but said he couldn’t be my daddy right now. I asked him if we will ever see each other again, and he said yes. He said if he feels he can revive our relationship, be my daddy again, he will come to me. It gave me some hope but of course left me feeling unhappy because those words allude to if and maybe and possibly never.

 

Last night he was in my dream. He’s the only man I’ve ever been with and consistently dreamed of. I had told him when we were together that as a little girl I dreamed of a daddy who would guide, protect and love me. When we met I felt my dream had really come true. Last night I dreamed we were together in the car, on our way somewhere...I would reach for him and he would pull me close to him and kiss my head, hold my hand. It felt so real. I woke up so upset with my reality.

 

Does anyone else dream of their daddy or a previous daddy? Did it seem to get worse after a breakup? I dream about him the same amount as before. It’s just hard in a different way now. I’m being long winded but I had to get some thoughts and feelings out. I’ve been trying to move on and it’s been such an ordeal. I tried dating and just ended up trying to pretend I was with him, which obviously didn’t work. They say healing is not linear though. Healing is just about the worse thing I’ve experienced.

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Hey Kitty...How are you? Dreams can be interpreted in a million different ways, and mostly just help us deal with whats going on in our real lives. My Daddy left last week, and i had my first dream about him after the end yesterday. Like you, i woke up so sad.. my dream was so realistic, and i even checked my messages, cos i dreamed he reached out for me and i didn't want to miss it if he did. He hadn't messaged me, and i realise now that even though i'm trying to move on, a part of me is still with him. And i know if he ever came back, i would still be glad to see him, even after whats happened.

 

Its natural to miss and still have feelings for those that played an important part in our lives. Healing is not easy, and can take any length of time. Moving into a new relationship when you aren't fully recovered from a previous one is not such a good thing to do, rebounding always makes you feel worse, cos all you do, like you noticed, is compare your current partner to the previous one, or the one you wish they were. Its not fair on you or the new person. Take some time out, get back to doing some of the things you love, i started walking again today. I haven't done it all week, cos everything had a memory attached to it, but today, there were so many things to watch and people every where, noises, it was a good distraction and i managed to make the whole 10 miles without crying, even though i passed a lot places me and my Daddy went before. 

 

It does get easier with time, i promise, this hurt won't last for ever <3

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Hi Ms Pattch! Thank you for your thoughtful reply! I agree with you about dreams. I think they’re a mix of our reality, memories, all the things we take it and experience. I’m so sorry to hear about your daddy!! It’s been months for me and I’m still having a hard time, but your words are inspiring. I feel the same way as you! I told my daddy when he’s ready to be a daddy and if he wants that I would come back to him, no questions asked. I truly feel we are meant to be together and someday we will. You’re right, it’s certainly not easy, but I can make more of an effort to do things I enjoy and are good for me as you have! I agree, moving into a new relationship isn’t good...I thought maybe if I just met some people, even if it didn’t work, maybe it would help but nope. There is no avoiding healing I suppose! I’m so proud of you for picking yourself up and doing good things for you. That inspires me, thank you so much for your reply!
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Guest xodoe

oh no, this sounds so painful </3 

 

my heart aches for you! i've been in a situation where my ex daddy and i broke up and it is very hard. the daddy/lg relationship creates a deep bond. it is very hard to let go of. just know that it is okay to be sad and mourn what you lost. that is the best way to get through it because it's painful.

 

the things that helped me most were time, friendship, and dating other people. it helped me to see that there were more people out there who i could be with who were ready to be with me. it's not a soulmate if they're not able to support you.

 

wishing you the best <3 

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Thank you Doe!! I appreciate your words and advice <3 It is beyond painful! In all honesty, I’ve felt empty ever since. We were together almost two years. I really hoped in those two years he’d take a significant step towards bringing us together irl but he didn’t...and I know he has solid legitimate reasons for why he couldn’t, but it was so hard for me. But now that I’ve been without him, I realize this is worse. I want him back honestly. I don’t want to move on, find someone else, I only want him. I guess as you said, I need more time. Friends certainly help too! I think I have to stay away from men though, it hurts every time I spend time with another man because all I can think of is that he isn’t my daddy, he isn’t what I’m looking for. It’s so hard when you really feel your heart belongs to someone. I can’t shake the feeling we were meant to be. I’ve never felt like this before, even when I was married! That’s been over for years...but what I share with daddy is incomparable! I feel like my heart breaks every day.
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Helloo freekittyx3 let me start off by saying how sorry i am that you’re feelings so blue:( breakups are the absolute worst and the things you wrote about in your post are so similar to my first relationship. he wasn’t my official daddy but we definitely dabbled into ddlg. he was my first everything.. took me on my first date, first person i’ve slept with, and first love:/ when we parted ways it was so horrible. i didn’t think i was gonna make it.. plus i dreamt about him too! definitely didn’t help with the healing process:/ fast forward to now and I’m with my first official daddy! he’s a good guy and i care about him a looot. but the funny part is, i still sometimes have vivid dreams about my ex. i couldn’t tell u what it means. they aren’t sexual or romantic. just sad:/ we usually are talking and “making up” but only as friends. maybe deep down i still want him in my life but as of now i am content with that never happening. idk what happened with your daddy but i’m sure you had good reasons to end the relationship. i try my best to believe that all things happen for a reason. regardless of whether or not you guys get back together i am sure it’ll be for the best for you and your journey through this life:) anyways, hang in there i wish you the best! ps maybe journal your dreams! it’s always cool to see to uncover the hidden signs our unconscious has!
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