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    Platonic DDlg LDR

    Platonic LDR Long distance Online relationship

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    #1 Baby Bunny πŸ‡

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    Posted 10 January 2021 - 03:31 PM

    Hi πŸ€— I've read about platonic DDlg long distance relationships, but I was hoping if someone could explain a bit more about how it is to be in a relationship like this. What it means, is it like a friendship? So it's ok to be in a monogamous relationship and also have a CG/little as a platonic online relationship? Also, most people want sex at some point, or even if it's online they want pics/nudes/sexting/video, etc. Are people really ok with not having any of that? Also, I feel like littles have a lot more to gain from this kind of relationship. Maybe because I'm a little I see all that a little can get from this but I don't understand what a CG gets from it. Are CGs really happy with a relationship like this? I hope someone can make things a bit more clear for me since I've never been involved in a relationship like this.

    The main reason why I'm asking is because I'm in a relationship already, but it's not a DDlg dynamic and I don't know if it will ever be (even though I really want it). So I'm considering a platonic relationship

    Thank you! 😊

    #2 Accountable Daddy

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    Posted 10 January 2021 - 04:13 PM

    I had pretty much this exact relationship for a very short period (we split due to unrelated disagreements). In our case it was more of a focus on getting her a schedule and some rules to follow. We say down and put the rule list together. It boils down to making sure she takes care of her needs, goes to bed and wakes up at a good time, keeps open communication (she was required to say good morning and good night and that at no point would she ever be in trouble for sending multiple messages or "spamming" me for attention). Actually I put together a similar chart (the one below was modified later to look much better) where she would print out a few copies (or she could laminate a copy) and either mark them or use stickers to mark what she did.
    I really enjoyed having that caring nature to offer and ultimately have that power shift I wanted. I also really liked that she was very loving and sweet, which is, to me, a pretty central part of having a little girl. She enjoyed having someone watching out for her and having more discipline in her life. And we agreed from the start it would be completely platonic and we also expected it to be temporary until either of us found a more committed relationship. Funny enough she wanted self-spanking to be one of the punishments and I was against it, feeling it was too close to being sexual. She was pretty adamant it wouldn't be for her, so it was one. Never used it.

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    #3 Baby Bunny πŸ‡

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    Posted 10 January 2021 - 04:55 PM

    Thank you so much for your reply. That chart is sooo cute! I've been thinking of doing something similar for myself I get what you say, I just still see everything the little gains from it, which is a LOT compared to what a CG gains from it. At least for me it seems like a little receives much more from this dynamic, which is why I wonder if CGs who enter such dynamics are actually ok with it or just hope it will become sexual eventually. It's nice to see some CGs actually enjoy it like this Don't you end up developing feelings for the other person? It seems like it can get really intimate in a non sexual way. I worry about that and how it would fit my life because I have a boyfriend. Telling him is not an option for me, not because he would get mad. Just because he wouldn't understand. He doesn't get my need to be like this or how I crave such a dynamic (which is why I'm not sure if he will ever become my Daddy). So I want to understand the nature of a platonic relationship. I get every one will be different, but more like how intimate it gets. If it would get to a point where I feel uncomfortable having this secret or if it can be like talking to a friend which is ok

    Thank you!!

    #4 Baby Bunny πŸ‡

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    Posted 10 January 2021 - 04:56 PM

    (My answer was posted twice and I don't know how to delete it)

    Edited by Baby Bunny πŸ‡, 10 January 2021 - 04:57 PM.


    #5 Alaskan Daddy

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    Posted 10 January 2021 - 06:40 PM

    I was in a couple of 'mentor' type  relationships where the women were littles. They did not call me daddy even though for the most part I was their 'platonic daddy'. There was not a sexual component to the relationship. I was their emotional caretaker. I was there as someone they could lean on and push them when they needed it. I gave them gentle loving reminders to do the things they needed to do. I was rewarded with a platonic love and appreciation. There were many times where they would ask me to hold them or read them a story or tuck them in. At times I did feel the relationship was one sided. When those relationships ended I had a feeling of satisfaction knowing I made a difference in a 'littles' life when she needed it most. So to answer your question, yes there can be platonic relationships with a daddy. But if you enter one you need to realize that this person may have a romantic relationship some where else in his or her life. I hope my message helps you in some way



    #6 Vampiress

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    Posted 10 January 2021 - 06:57 PM

    Hi I've read about platonic DDlg long distance relationships, but I was hoping if someone could explain a bit more about how it is to be in a relationship like this. What it means, is it like a friendship? So it's ok to be in a monogamous relationship and also have a CG/little as a platonic online relationship? Also, most people want sex at some point, or even if it's online they want pics/nudes/sexting/video, etc. Are people really ok with not having any of that? Also, I feel like littles have a lot more to gain from this kind of relationship. Maybe because I'm a little I see all that a little can get from this but I don't understand what a CG gets from it. Are CGs really happy with a relationship like this? I hope someone can make things a bit more clear for me since I've never been involved in a relationship like this.

    The main reason why I'm asking is because I'm in a relationship already, but it's not a DDlg dynamic and I don't know if it will ever be (even though I really want it). So I'm considering a platonic relationship

    Thank you!

     

    I think it can be like a friendship or mentorship in a way, but can't say from experience as I haven't tried this. It is okay to be in a monogamous relationship and have a platonic online CG/l dynamic IF your partner says it's okay. They still might disagree with it and you'll have to give them the opportunity to decide and be a part of that decision. If they're uncomfortable with it they still might consider it akin to cheating because there is still some kind of power exchange going on here. I do believe there are Caregivers who can genuinely have a platonic relationship and respect the boundary without ever requiring sexting or nudes but do be aware there will be some who claim they're okay with it but will then disrespect the boundaries at a later point, and you'll have to be aware of that risk. I'll let the Caregivers answer what they get out of this kind of relationship.


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    #7 Aetherr

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    Posted 10 January 2021 - 10:37 PM

    Thank you so much for your reply. That chart is sooo cute! I've been thinking of doing something similar for myself I get what you say, I just still see everything the little gains from it, which is a LOT compared to what a CG gains from it. At least for me it seems like a little receives much more from this dynamic, which is why I wonder if CGs who enter such dynamics are actually ok with it or just hope it will become sexual eventually. It's nice to see some CGs actually enjoy it like this Don't you end up developing feelings for the other person? It seems like it can get really intimate in a non sexual way. I worry about that and how it would fit my life because I have a boyfriend. Telling him is not an option for me, not because he would get mad. Just because he wouldn't understand. He doesn't get my need to be like this or how I crave such a dynamic (which is why I'm not sure if he will ever become my Daddy). So I want to understand the nature of a platonic relationship. I get every one will be different, but more like how intimate it gets. If it would get to a point where I feel uncomfortable having this secret or if it can be like talking to a friend which is ok

    Thank you!!

     

    this part troubles me, its none of my business how you chose to live your life but i would strongly advise against deception.. here is the reason it may seem innocent and clean and harmless to you but what about your partner are they going to see it that way and dont you think they should know if it really is harmless?

     

    if it was me i would feel extremely hurt and betrayed

     

    again its none of my business and in all honesty i don't care, you do you but a platonic arrangement is still an arrangement with another person and your partner should have the option to decide if they can accept that or not instead of you getting this need fufilled in secret


    Edited by Aetherr, 10 January 2021 - 10:39 PM.

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    #8 Aetherr

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    Posted 10 January 2021 - 10:47 PM

    I think it can be like a friendship or mentorship in a way, but can't say from experience as I haven't tried this. It is okay to be in a monogamous relationship and have a platonic online CG/l dynamic IF your partner says it's okay. They still might disagree with it and you'll have to give them the opportunity to decide and be a part of that decision. If they're uncomfortable with it they still might consider it akin to cheating because there is still some kind of power exchange going on here. I do believe there are Caregivers who can genuinely have a platonic relationship and respect the boundary without ever requiring sexting or nudes but do be aware there will be some who claim they're okay with it but will then disrespect the boundaries at a later point, and you'll have to be aware of that risk. I'll let the Caregivers answer what they get out of this kind of relationship.

    i have to disagree with the "disrespect" you describe here as someone who has had a platonic arrangement turn romantic where a little felt romantic and sexual feelings towards me and myself feeling those towards a little (two different scenarios) its not based or born from a place of disrespect it comes from a person's inability or failure to notice signs that things are progressing and then leave i think the use of that word is rather extreme and frankly unfair in this case, people are complex and how we see others can and often does change over time and friends can become lovers and lovers can become friends or even enemies over time.. its not disrespect though its people developing over time.

     

    disrespect in this context would be a person with romantic feelings in a platonic arrangment, expressing them and being rejected then continuing to express those feeling as if they were never rejected

    thats disrespect.


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    #9 ThatOneGuyTho

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    Posted 10 January 2021 - 11:23 PM

    Aslong as you're honest and upfront about exactly what you're looking for, I'm sure you'll be able to find a platonic relationship. While I totally get what you're saying, I would think if the relationship is platonic, and they need the sexual stuff, they would also have another relationship that does fulfill that need, whether it's in or out of the dynamic. Either way, aslong as you're clear you're not looking for that type of relationship I'm sure you can find the right person.

     

    I don't think it's a great idea going into another type of relationship without your current partner being ok with it, I just really see that causing pain down the road for the both of you. You will develop a bond with your CG, no ones perfect, maybe even deeper feelings develop that's a possibility, even if the best of intentions are met going in. That being said, you know what you want and what you don't want. Sitting down and creating some boundaries you're comfortable with, might be a good place to start. 

     

    Ask yourself what you're looking to get out of this relationship? Be very honest with yourself, and any potential CG's, that's all you can do. Best of luck =).


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    #10 Vampiress

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    Posted 10 January 2021 - 11:38 PM

    i have to disagree with the "disrespect" you describe here as someone who has had a platonic arrangement turn romantic where a little felt romantic and sexual feelings towards me and myself feeling those towards a little (two different scenarios) its not based or born from a place of disrespect it comes from a person's inability or failure to notice signs that things are progressing and then leave i think the use of that word is rather extreme and frankly unfair in this case, people are complex and how we see others can and often does change over time and friends can become lovers and lovers can become friends or even enemies over time.. its not disrespect though its people developing over time.

     

    disrespect in this context would be a person with romantic feelings in a platonic arrangment, expressing them and being rejected then continuing to express those feeling as if they were never rejected

    thats disrespect.

     

    This was a gentler way of me implying that sometimes Dominants will purposefully lie about being okay with it being platonic, and then later pressure the little into nudes because they're "closer" and more vulnerable to them. I've heard enough littles complain about it that it is definitely a thing where the Dominant had intentions other than what they initially promised. Wasn't implying anything about people sometimes catching feelings they hadn't intended to. Sorry for the confusion.


    Edited by Vampiress, 10 January 2021 - 11:39 PM.

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    #11 Baby Bunny πŸ‡

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    Posted 11 January 2021 - 05:31 AM

    Thank you all for your help! I still don't understand it completely but at least I know it's not exactly platonic, or not like an innocent friendship as I thought so I don't feel comfortable having a relationship like this. I guess the name confused me. I might have a tendency to develop feeling too easy so it won't be a good idea

    #12 Baby Bunny πŸ‡

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    Posted 11 January 2021 - 05:31 AM

    .

    Edited by Baby Bunny πŸ‡, 11 January 2021 - 05:32 AM.


    #13 MysticSand

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    Posted 11 January 2021 - 07:45 PM

    Hellooo! I'm a CG and my Little and I are platonic. Sex isn't something that's really relevant or a high priority to either of us.

     

    I really just love taking care of my Little and seeing him happy. We are LDR and indeed have a very close relationship. I think we unexpectedly found a lot in what we need in each other because we're very open, honest and communicate a lot - which are things that were somewhat new to both of us in terms of people in our lives. (Weird, huh?) Of course we also have very similar core values and enjoy a lot of the same things that while are not quite as good in-person, can translate well enough through LDR. ie: cooking, eating, walking, playing games, and just generally being supportive of each other's goals and being a sounding board for how our good and bad days are going.

     

    Happy to answer any other questions you have but keep in mind this is just my experience and everyone's different!  ^_^


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    #14 MissPattch

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    Posted 12 January 2021 - 10:01 AM

    I was in a couple of 'mentor' type  relationships where the women were littles. They did not call me daddy even though for the most part I was their 'platonic daddy'. There was not a sexual component to the relationship. I was their emotional caretaker. I was there as someone they could lean on and push them when they needed it. I gave them gentle loving reminders to do the things they needed to do. I was rewarded with a platonic love and appreciation. There were many times where they would ask me to hold them or read them a story or tuck them in. At times I did feel the relationship was one sided. When those relationships ended I had a feeling of satisfaction knowing I made a difference in a 'littles' life when she needed it most. So to answer your question, yes there can be platonic relationships with a daddy. But if you enter one you need to realize that this person may have a romantic relationship some where else in his or her life. I hope my message helps you in some way

     

     

    I had somebody in my life like this last year. He has been the best friend i could have had while i was navigating the new and unknown waters of DDlg. When i was struggling, he would step in and help keep me on my feet and moving forward. He gave me structure when i had none, and let me be little when i was getting overwhelmed with life. He checked in on me, and made sure i was eating and taking care of my self. Now both he and i are in our own, different committed dynamics, and i hope he knows how much i valued his support when i felt i had none. We still talk every now and then, and i'm thankful for his help, and i'm happy that he is happy with his new partner ^^


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    #15 Jet

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    Posted 12 January 2021 - 07:23 PM

    Hi :)

     

    My CG and I are Platonic and LDR. It's especially hard for me right now because I was hoping to visit her around this time, but COVID isn't allowing that to happen. 

    Sex isn't high on our priorities list but we've talked about our sexual sides before and are open about it. We're comfortable discussing a lot of different things, both sexual and non sexual, and though it can be scary at times I definitely feel a lot closer to her afterwards.  

     

    We managed to incorporate spanking into the relationship as a punishment, because it helps me feel little and puts me into little space. This was scary for me to communicate at first but she was very open to it which I'm really grateful for. 

     

    For her, she enjoys being the dominant one, and likes having the power in the relationship. And I'm okay with this! (well, except for when she won't let me have sweets >.< ) 

     

    For a while I thought the same as you. "How does she get anything out of this? This just seems like a lot of hard work!" But over time I can see that we both get a lot out of the relationship. 


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    #16 Little_lexiii

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    Posted 13 January 2021 - 12:44 PM

    I'm a switch who has a daddy (whom I live with and am in a committed monogamous relationship with him) but I also have a cg/little (platonic of course) online! We're both switches, so we go back and forth on who is cg that day, or sometimes we're little together! My daddy is very monogamous, and I was very nervous to bring this topic up to him. But, I'm so glad I did! We sat down and had a serious conversation. He ask all the questions he could think of and I answered them. We set boundaries and limits as well. Both myself and my platonic partner have set rules, rewards, and punishments (all sfw) that we try to follow on the daily. I know it can be scary bringing something like this up to a monogamous partner, but if they have an ounce of understanding in their body, it should go okay. Best of wishes to you!  :wub:


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    #17 Baby Bunny πŸ‡

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    Posted 14 January 2021 - 05:34 AM

    Thank you all for your help! This can be really confusing and I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who struggles to understand what CGs get out of it. I think I understand it a bit better now, and I need to figure out what I want/need and how it fits ny current relationship

    #18 junebug0325

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    Posted 14 January 2021 - 10:52 AM

    Heya friend!

     

    This is an awesome topic and I'm so glad to see that a bunch of people have responded.

     

    I just want to say, that my personal experiences should not prohibit you from exploring something that you are interested in, I just want to share an experience with you so that you know what to look out for if a situation like this does arise.

     

    I currently have a Daddy, we are married and I've been with him for almost 3 years now. I have a few internet friends that are in the lifestyle, most of them I talk to on a daily/weekly basis. I talked to this person, and he and I became very close, very quickly. He was my best friend at some point in time. I truly believed that this person was my friend and my friend only. Until one day, he admitted that he had feelings towards me.

     

    I never told my Daddy because I felt that if I told him, he would not allow me to be friends with this person, and I genuinely thought that this person was my best friend, and I didn't want that to happen. I told this person that I wouldn't tell my Daddy, and I think he took that as an opportunity to try and manipulate me into doing things. At the time, I was especially vunerable because I had a lot of life issues going on, and at the time, my Daddy and I were long distance.

     

    The relationship between be and this person started out as platonic, but (against my better judgement) quickly grew into something I didn't want. My Daddy found out about it, and while he was upset that it happened, he saw all the messages exchanged between us and knew that I was manipulated. My Daddy is still with me now, which I am thankful for, and I am no longer talking to that person any longer.

     

    With that being said, I still believe that a platonic relationships can be a good thing. My Daddy and I have talked multiple times about introducing a platonic Mommy into the relationship with me, but we haven't really acted upon it. The main reason for that being - we want to focus on ourselves and our relationship before adding another person.

     

    I just urge you to be cautious, as there are a lot of people out there who have alternative desires. Make sure that you are clear and communicative about what you want, so that there is no confusion between you and your partner.

     

    I hope this helps!

     

     

     

    Junebug x. 


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    #19 Aetherr

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    Posted 14 January 2021 - 08:24 PM

    Heya friend!

     

    This is an awesome topic and I'm so glad to see that a bunch of people have responded.

     

    I just want to say, that my personal experiences should not prohibit you from exploring something that you are interested in, I just want to share an experience with you so that you know what to look out for if a situation like this does arise.

     

    I currently have a Daddy, we are married and I've been with him for almost 3 years now. I have a few internet friends that are in the lifestyle, most of them I talk to on a daily/weekly basis. I talked to this person, and he and I became very close, very quickly. He was my best friend at some point in time. I truly believed that this person was my friend and my friend only. Until one day, he admitted that he had feelings towards me.

     

    I never told my Daddy because I felt that if I told him, he would not allow me to be friends with this person, and I genuinely thought that this person was my best friend, and I didn't want that to happen. I told this person that I wouldn't tell my Daddy, and I think he took that as an opportunity to try and manipulate me into doing things. At the time, I was especially vunerable because I had a lot of life issues going on, and at the time, my Daddy and I were long distance.

     

    The relationship between be and this person started out as platonic, but (against my better judgement) quickly grew into something I didn't want. My Daddy found out about it, and while he was upset that it happened, he saw all the messages exchanged between us and knew that I was manipulated. My Daddy is still with me now, which I am thankful for, and I am no longer talking to that person any longer.

     

    With that being said, I still believe that a platonic relationships can be a good thing. My Daddy and I have talked multiple times about introducing a platonic Mommy into the relationship with me, but we haven't really acted upon it. The main reason for that being - we want to focus on ourselves and our relationship before adding another person.

     

    I just urge you to be cautious, as there are a lot of people out there who have alternative desires. Make sure that you are clear and communicative about what you want, so that there is no confusion between you and your partner.

     

    I hope this helps!

     

     

     

    Junebug x. 

    is this the same person im thinking of? im glad we sorted that out, thas was highly disrespectful

     

    sorry to kinda derail



    #20 Baby Bunny πŸ‡

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    Posted 16 January 2021 - 03:54 PM

    Thank you for sharing! I'm sorry that happened to you but you're lucky your Daddy understood and everything's fine now I try to be really careful with people online because I don't know them. But I'm an introvert and somehow it's easier for me to share stuff with people online who don't know me than with my friends/family ‍♀ I guess I need to be extra careful because of that
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