Little space partner I don’t want to be

[Faith2121]

My partner does the little space thing and she’s kept it to herself for years now. She’s brought it up here and there but I don’t want anything to do with it. I’m getting concerned that if I don’t start role playing it’s going to begin effecting our relationship. For me it’s weird and uncomfortable despite trying it out because I know how much it means to her. If there’s anyone else that’s been asked to be a daddy dom that doesn’t want to please help me out here.

[Little kaiya]

I haven't been asked to be a caregiver, as I'm not, so take this response with a grain of salt. Your partner is highly unlikely to change and stop being a little. It's part of who they are.

 

That said, if it's something you find uncomfortable then your partner should respect that boundary and respect you.

 

She can still be a little in her own but you also need to realize that may not be enough for her. Some people explore other options like having a platonic caregiver, having a polyamorous relationship and other options.

 

Ultimately though the two of you both need to decide what you want out of a relationship. What are the must haves, can't does and compromises. If you aren't comfortable with being her caregiver that's 100% fine. If you also though aren't comfortable with allowing her to explore or expect her to be little solo you may find that's not enough for her.

 

In the end it may be a fundamental incompatibility issue but talk to one another and be honest about what you both want and need.

[DollDirector]

hello,

 

my experience is unfortunately not going to be of great immediate help.

but who knows ? may be food for thought. when I was not mature enough, I think I had a gf who may have been a little, something I did not see. brace yourself:

I now think that a little (knowing, or not fully knowing that she is one) may pick a daddy even if he doesn't know he is one.

 

that is the first thing about your post that struck me. you did get HERE.

[maddycakes]

Is it the actions that are uncomfortable to you or is it the thought of being her "daddy" that makes you uncomfortable? 

 

When my Daddy and I first started dating He was definitely uncomfortable with certain parts of our lifestyle, but as I introduced Him to some of the things I wanted to actually do with Him, He realized that most of it was just stuff He would have done anyways. If it's just the thought of being a daddy that bothers you, maybe try talking to her about that specifically. You could then see what actions she wants you to do, and compromise on some of those if you can find any that you feel comfortable with. I think the biggest steps you could take are 1. finding out exactly what she wants you to do and 2. deciding which of those things are too uncomfortable for you and/or how you could modify them to suit your comfort level

 

Example:

Some actions she may (or may not) want - cuddling, forehead kisses, having you wash her in the shower, reading her a storybook, building a blanket fort with her, playing with stuffed animals

Compromise - You were probably going to cuddle and kiss her anyways, and who doesn't love to shower with their partner? Instead of reading her a storybook, maybe you could go to the bookstore together and pick out a mutually interesting adult book that you can read together before bed. Maybe playing with stuffed animals and building a fort is too much for you, and that's okay. She should understand that you have limits as well. However, I think if you could get past your general discomfort, you'd find that there are lots of parts of this dynamic that are really very normal. You don't need to go all in to participate in her little time, and she should be willing to compromise to make sure you are comfortable as well. 

 

Hope this helps, good luck!