I need help please...

[Guest Snowylittle98]

Hey,

I'm from Germany so my english won't be the best. I'm sorry

I'm a non-sexual little because of stuff that happened in my childhood. When I'm little I don't have any memory though and can't remember what happened in my childhood. I also feel very different when I'm little.

But recently I realized that almost every other little seems to pretend being little. But I actually feel like a 3 year old. I don't feel like I can make decisions on my own anymore. I regress at the worst times and without being able to stop it. I'm not sure if there's something wrong with me because I feel like two different people. I don't have the courage to talk to my therapist about it because I'm ashamed of acting like a child. I'm not sure if I'm even a little or not... I just need help can someone maybe help me and tell me what you think about it?

[DerbyNerd]

It sounds like you're maybe falling more into the category of age regression, which can happen as an involuntary coping response to trauma rather than a more intentional change of headspace. Its possible to be both a little and age regress, but there will be distinct differences between how you feel in these states. 

[Cadwallon]

Snowy - that's a hard one and I really feel for you. My wife/little was abused for years by her German father.

 

It manifested in very self destructive behaviour and only stopped because she got treatment after she was hospitalised. She was diagnosed with complex PTSD and saw a specialist for some time - she's also now on antidepressants. She's much better but it's a ling road to healing.

 

I think you need to trust your counsellor, or potentially look at seeing someone else who specialises in abuse and PTSD.

 

What you're feeling/experiencing isn't unique, and there are support groups for people who experienced child sexual abuse.

 

Shame and secrecy were the tools your abuser used to control and groom you. Don't let them and your experiences still control you - get help.

[Kitten&Spice]

My biggest recommendation is to possibly talk to your therapist. This does sound an awful lot like age regression and it is very important especially when in this community to know more on if this is what you are truly experiencing. Of course I could be mistaken but by the small bit of information you have given it definitely leans more towards age regression!

 

I can understand not wanting to talk to a therapist about things you are ashamed of but it is also important to find the support and help knowing it will not go passed the door. And if there is anyone you can go to then a therapist in this situation would be the best as they have done the training and know the proper answers and procedures for what you are experiencing!

[Vampiress]

I agree with the above, you sound like you're probably age regressing, but you need to talk to a therapist. This is a known coping mechanism and a trained therapist can talk to you about it and help you through this. There's nothing wrong with it. If you do seek a Caregiver of sorts in the future be careful and make sure they 100% accept that you are non-sexual when you regress, but a Caregiver is not necessary if you are uncomfortable with finding one.