How to Be a Big Girl

[Peetz]

There are times in my adult life where I need to put on my big girl panties and do something that terrifies me. I can’t hide behind Daddy, I can’t handle it another way, I can’t take the easy way out. One of those things is negotiating salary at a new job. I HATE IT. Makes me want to hide under my covers and never come out. I have a very hard time advocating for myself or saying that I am worth a certain amount. The thought of having that conversation makes my stomach churn.

 

Does anyone have any tips or tricks for framing this in a way that is less scary? Something I can do before the conversation to feel empowered and strong?

[BabyPineapple]

I feel exactly the same way!

 

I gain power from making lists and writing things down. Taking some notes on my salary and salary range (minimum acceptable salary) help me. Also considering what sort of "wiggle room" I would allow based on benefits (I had an employer that offered to pay for my car insurance, and another that offered a free gym membership, and one that paid for lunch on Fridays, etc.). Then I almost write a little script for myself (even just a sentence). Having that, even if I don't follow it word-for-word, makes me FEEL more prepared and confident.

[DaddyDom3238]

Hello, I am sorry that you struggle with this aspect of being "big," I have had several little/subs that have had similar issues when they had to be "big." I think you should talk to your Daddy about how to best be big in certain situations and what I used to do for my little/sub was I would RP certain situations with them when they needed to be big so they would know how to act and respond. Then I would coach them and work with them until they were able to be big when they needed to be but didn't necessarily want to be. I hope this helps a bit as it did with my previous little/subs. 

[Punographer]

Do you have any peers, friends or family who work in similar industries who could give you some advice or pep talk? 

 

Researching the job, average pay for that area, and applying your work experience are all things to think about. I remember a long time ago when I was nervous about this, I wrote a script. Line for line, it let me practice and it really helped. There's no harm in asking for more because the worst thing that could happen is they say no and give you a counter offer. 

 

Do you research. Practice verbally negotiating your pay so you know what you'll say ahead of time. You got this!