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Feeling Inadequate


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Posted

I have been a caregiver to my little/girlfriend for almost a year now. In the last 2 months I've felt like I'm not doing a very good job taking care of her. We're long distance for the next almost year after being close distance for a few months. Since she's been away, we've been on video chat and/or texting any moment we can. We watch Kast together, we watch netflix and hulu together regularly, sometimes I even drive down to her and we spend a little bit of time together. I bring her and send her gifts, I do what I can from a distance with her schedule and mine -- and I just don't feel like I'm doing enough. 

 

I feel like I can do more, she tells me I'm perfect and I'm doing everything right and soon things will be back to normal.... and then I feel awful because she's taking care of me and not the other way around... its a viscous cycle of me attacking myself of not being good enough for her and trying to be strong to help her since this long distance thing is tough on her, too.

 

Have any other new cg felt like this once that "honeymoon" phase wore off? Is there a way I can shake this awful feeling? Has anyone else had to adjust from short distance to long distance and back again? What can I do to make myself better for her? Please help :(

 

Disclaimer: My little has done nothing to make me feel this way, she is very supportive and loves me very much. She reminds me daily how I'm the best girlfriend ever and I take such good care of her. This is 100% an internal issue. 

 

 

Posted

my first two cents: really inadequate people rarely feel inadequate. so maybe what's really happening is you are feeling some withdrawal symptoms. that is never pleasant, just as having to spend more time alone to reassess the relationship is not pleasant but can also be taken as a rebounding (re-bonding?) chance. 

  • Like 3
Guest rainbowglo
Posted

To me, it sounds like the honeymoon phase settled into your way of life. It sounds like you truely just love this girl!!!

 

Sounds like a pure case of: "It's that: can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of love."

 

Breathe deep, ache for her, swoon over her... Ride the wave because this is it... Keep doing what you're doing, and watch her flourish in your care. Witness all she is. The magic that so many never quite get their fingers on! :)

  • Like 1

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