How do I tell if my Boyfriend is a daddy?

[163506_1655600937]

So the other day my boyfriend referred to himself as "Daddy" in bed. He's never done this before, and although I was super turned on, I didn't know how to react. When we first started becoming sexual 7 months ago, we went over our kinks. I mentioned ddlg, but he didn't say anything about it or react in any way. I assumed he either wasn't into it or didn't know what it was. But now I'm so confused. I don't think he said it as a joke, but I also don't know if he meant it either. Was it a fluke or on purpose? Does he know what ddlg is now? Does he remember I like it? Does he even like it or is he just playing with me or trying to appeal to my needs more? I really don't want to let on that I'm into ddlg and he just does it even if hes not.

[Little kaiya]

You'll never know unless you trust him enough to ask. People on online forums can tell you what they think or what you want to hear but only your boyfriend can tell you how he feels about DDlg or any other topic. Edited May 8, 2021 by Little kaiya

[Lollipox]

You just kinda pop the hood open and take a look at the engine.

If it smells like johnson and johnson's no more tears shampoo and you seen some crayons, he got Little in his heart.

 

Nu but realistically, he maybe might have seen some pornography to try and learn about it. Because of you mentioning it as a kink. And just looked up "ddlg" and went with whatever came up. DDlg is at the forefront related to BDSM, which is often assumed to be sexual.

A lot of people enter but dunno much about it at first and misunderstand it to be purely about sexytimes.

But really those are questions to ask him directly. ^^

So that's quite a pickle if you're not comfortable just straight up asking, if you're wanting to keep it a secret.

As your boyfriend, does he have a natural kinda Caregiver-y-ness towards you?

I think that a lot of guys who're Daddies (not the sexytimes only kind) have a tendency to be sorta uhmm... like, they display the traits of a Daddy without requiring the more DD/lg specific things?

 

Idk, I vurry tired and babbling. But that might be a place to start your pondering ^^ about his normal behaviours toward you as your bf.

And seeing if he randomly starts doing Daddy-ish things outside of the bedroom.

 

Unless you're also only intersted in it for the sexytimes?

in which case the only way to really know is to ask him yourself.

You can ask without having to bring up that you're into it, or making it about you.

You could just say "hey, so the other day/night when we were bonin', you referred to yourself as Daddy... enlighten me on that?"

Edited May 8, 2021 by Lollipox

[163506_1655600937]

[163506_1655600937]

You'll never know unless you trust him enough to ask. People on online forums can tell you what they think or what you want to hear but only your boyfriend can tell you how he feels about DDlg or any other topic.

Hey Little Kaiya! Thanks for your advice, unfortunately I'm too nervous to ask him directly about it. He's not the kind of guy that'd hold it against me, but I don't want to create any weirdness about it.

Edited May 8, 2021 by Guest

[VentralStriatum]

Hii Lollipox! Thanks for your input, it made me think a lot. He kinda bounces between acting like a cg and not. One day hes catering to me out of nowhere and being really loving, and the next hes almost ignoring me. Not in a bad way, just buried in his video game or whatever. This has also been a point of confusion .

Something I've noticed in the kink community is an attempt to label fairly regular behaviour as something kinky. For any one person explicitly desiring a complete DDLG relationship, there are many that are just very loving in the way they act towards the person they date. Plenty of people I know wouldn't ever consider a BDSM-relationship or describe themselves as such, yet have (mild) kinky fantasies. Specifically on the topic of being called "Daddy" in bed, he wouldn't be the first I know to just love that specifically while not looking for or even knowing what a DDLG relationship is. That doesn't mean you can't be happy together or that he can't take great care of you, some people just don't desire that kind of dynamic or extreme commitment. In my experience, it takes putting the relationship first, along with a tendency to value the bond with your special someone over everything else, to bring out the best of what BDSM/DDLG has to offer. Many people simply have different priorities in life.

 

What's interesting to me, though, is that you already admitted you were into DDLG, but now you're worried about creating weirdness about it. If he had a distinctly negative reaction to the word, he would've already told you months ago. Seems like he's the type of guy who would just answer the question without being weird about it. That said, if I were you, I'd bring it up as a tease. "I was surprised to learn you're into DDLG too now!" with a big smile. It'll either get a conversation going if he would like to explore it more, or he'll just take it as a joke and move on. You'll have your answer either way.

Edited May 8, 2021 by VentralStriatum

[Little kaiya]