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    When your Little just can't call you "Daddy"


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    #1 Crafty_Pink_Bee

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    Posted 06 June 2021 - 09:38 AM

    Hello to all Caregivers and Daddies, and also Mommies of course eh!  :)

     

    I would like to know how you would feel, or what would be your reaction if, for some reason, your Little was unable to call you "Daddy".. Or "Mommy" or whatever term of your choosing, that your Little would have a really hard time to say, no matter how he/she adores you. Would you be disappointed?

     

    As we were trying to figure out what elements could help us enhance our new DDLG dynamic, I realized me calling my partner "Daddy" would never happen. For many different reasons that I won't discuss here of course, that range from past family issues to current self-consciousness because I'm an older Little. My partner did take the time to reassure me about this and told me he had no real desire to be called "Daddy" anyway.. The word - or the lack of this word I should say - doesn't influence the way he sees me, or us and I have other terms of endearment for him that he enjoys. Also, yesterday, he told me that so far this new dynamic has been very fun and enjoyable to him and it really made me so very happy!! =3 It has been to me too!!  ^_^

     

    But really, it bothers me. A lot of Littles use the word "Daddy" and I envy them. By being unable to use it myself, I feel like I'm missing the point.. I guess I also feel a bit guilty.. Do you think I should force myself to get out of my comfort zone and just say it? In a similar context, would you expect your Little to do so? How would you handle it..? How important is that word to you? I don't want to bring this issue to my partner yet another time because I'm afraid it would get old and boring but I would appreciate if caregivers here could share their thoughts with me. 

     

    Thank you! :)


    Edited by Crafty_Pink_Bee, 06 June 2021 - 10:03 AM.

      🌷   45, Little, France (French) Little age: 3 to 6 years old   🌷 

     

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    #2 Aetherr

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    Posted 06 June 2021 - 10:29 AM

    you dont need to use the title of daddy to get the most out of ddlg

     

    i think most people prefer daddy because of the fact most people use daddy there is no reason for it other than other people do it from what i can see, but i have seen many people who just dont use "daddy" for whatever reason instead they get creative with names

     

    no i dont think there is any need to force something as small as that so if you cant use the word i would try to not worry much about it, besides your partner doesent mind either way as you said so i mean at least from my perspective i don't see any issues aside from you feeling the pressure to conform to what others do which personally i dont understand since i never felt the desire to do what people do but to avoid rambling on about myself in summary:

     

    keep doing what you are doing, try to accept and love who you are and your dynamic and know there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you are doing so long as its consensual and legal


    Edited by Aetherr, 06 June 2021 - 10:31 AM.

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    #3 AussieMelbourneDaddy

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    Posted 06 June 2021 - 03:48 PM

    Daddy, Master, Sir... /Princess, Sweetheart, Kitten - Are they labels or terms of endearment? What feels right for you and your partner is right for you.

    There is no right or wrong answers with pet names and all of them need to come from a place of comfort and safety.

    Every dynamic (as with every little/middle/cg) is unique and you need to be focused on what works and what feels right... not what is considered ‘normal’ or mainstream.

    It sounds to me like you have an amazing dynamic with your caregiver and by focusing on what others have, or what you think is the ‘norm’ (or that you don’t have) might sacrifice a small part of what makes your dynamic special and unique.

    I feel I need to reinforce the fact that every dynamic is unique and works best when both (or all) parties to the relationship are safe and comfortable to be themselves... to feel safe... and can communicate freely without judgement or ridicule.

    Don’t let the little green eyed monster create doubt in what you have and share with your caregiver. FOMO can play with your head if you let it but in this instance... are you really missing out on anything?

    I hope this helps...
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    #4 Vampiress

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    Posted 06 June 2021 - 03:49 PM

    CG/l is what you make it, so don't force yourself to do uncomfortable things. Plenty of littles call their Caregiver something else. We don't all need to be experiencing this the same way for it to be valid or fulfilling. Since your partner doesn't seem to mind at all, no reason to feel guilty at all. I think you're absolutely right to decide for yourself that term doesn't work, and I hope soon you can feel more comfortable allowing yourself to experience this dynamic the way that works for you and your partner.


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    #5 Crafty_Pink_Bee

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    Posted 07 June 2021 - 01:45 AM

    (...) no i dont think there is any need to force something as small as that so if you cant use the word i would try to not worry much about it, besides your partner doesent mind either way as you said so i mean at least from my perspective i don't see any issues aside from you feeling the pressure to conform to what others do (...)

     

    (...) There is no right or wrong answers with pet names and all of them need to come from a place of comfort and safety.

    Every dynamic (as with every little/middle/cg) is unique and you need to be focused on what works and what feels right... not what is considered ‘normal’ or mainstream.

    It sounds to me like you have an amazing dynamic with your caregiver and by focusing on what others have, or what you think is the ‘norm’ (or that you don’t have) might sacrifice a small part of what makes your dynamic special and unique. (...)

     

    (...) We don't all need to be experiencing this the same way for it to be valid or fulfilling. (...)

     

    Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and answer my question in such a thoughtful manner, I really appreciate it. It is very good for me to be reminded of these things. It is true that I very often forget there is no need to conform to what other people do.. I try to fit in so much.. These are insignificant details but for some reason they become such big issues in my mind sometimes! And then I forget to focus on what truly matters..

     

    You are right, all three of you! :) What I already have is amazing and fulfilling to me, and to my partner as well. Thank you for taking the time to reassure me! :) I'm sure there will be other times when I get worried and confused but for now, I really feel like I got a good boost of self confidence! THanks!!  :D


    • Littlest_Bee and Vampiress like this

      🌷   45, Little, France (French) Little age: 3 to 6 years old   🌷 

     

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    #6 Pupperoo

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    Posted 07 June 2021 - 02:34 AM

    Having a special name for your CG is something that brings a lot of reassurance to some Littles. But there are plenty of Littles out there that don't need the reassurance from that. Besides, there are plenty of other things you can call them and it's really just up to you what you feel comfortable calling them and then checking whether they like it or not.

    With the risk of sounding harsh, but I really think you're overthinking it :) We're all individuals with different preferences and capabilities within DD/lg after all!


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    #7 Crafty_Pink_Bee

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    Posted 07 June 2021 - 06:24 AM

    Having a special name for your CG is something that brings a lot of reassurance to some Littles. But there are plenty of Littles out there that don't need the reassurance from that. Besides, there are plenty of other things you can call them and it's really just up to you what you feel comfortable calling them and then checking whether they like it or not.

    With the risk of sounding harsh, but I really think you're overthinking it :) We're all individuals with different preferences and capabilities within DD/lg after all!

     

    Thanks! :) No no, don't worry, you didn't sound harsh at all, you are very right, I am totally an over-thinker!

    And my biggest issue is that I often start overthinking and fretting about things that are really NOT super important at all..  :rolleyes:

    I don't know.. suddenly, not being able to call my partner "Daddy" did feel like a major frustration and something to worry about..

    I'm all good now! Thank you for your answer! :) xxx -Bee


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      🌷   45, Little, France (French) Little age: 3 to 6 years old   🌷 

     

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    #8 Pupperoo

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    Posted 07 June 2021 - 06:26 AM

    Thanks! :) No no, don't worry, you didn't sound harsh at all, you are very right, I am totally an over-thinker!

    And my biggest issue is that I often start overthinking and fretting about things that are really NOT super important at all..  :rolleyes:

    I don't know.. suddenly, not being able to call my partner "Daddy" did feel like a major frustration and something to worry about..

    I'm all good now! Thank you for your answer! :) xxx -Bee

    I am glad we could help!


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    #9 Kittykat83

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    Posted 09 June 2021 - 09:34 AM

    Hi!
    I know you've probably come to put your mind at ease re calling your daddy 'daddy' but I thought I throw my 2 penny worth in. As for calling him that I honestly wouldn't bother your head about it. Ddlg isn't all about a name it's how you are feeling. If your both in the same page, if you enjoy yourselves, if he is able to take the 'daddy' role and you the little, then that's great. Also it doesn't necessarily have to be the title daddy, I know you said you have other pet names for each other, but are these to be used in little time or just general such as darling or sweetheart etc. If you want something to call him specifically in these little times, that does not involve the word daddy there is a great link here (which I know you've probably read) but some of these names can be used specifically for ddlg time. I don't know if that helps, but I just saw this and thought of you.
    https://www.ddlgforu...names-to-daddy/
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    #10 Crafty_Pink_Bee

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    Posted 10 June 2021 - 02:18 AM

    Hi!
    I know you've probably come to put your mind at ease re calling your daddy 'daddy' but I thought I throw my 2 penny worth in. As for calling him that I honestly wouldn't bother your head about it. Ddlg isn't all about a name it's how you are feeling. If your both in the same page, if you enjoy yourselves, if he is able to take the 'daddy' role and you the little, then that's great. Also it doesn't necessarily have to be the title daddy, I know you said you have other pet names for each other, but are these to be used in little time or just general such as darling or sweetheart etc. If you want something to call him specifically in these little times, that does not involve the word daddy there is a great link here (which I know you've probably read) but some of these names can be used specifically for ddlg time. I don't know if that helps, but I just saw this and thought of you.
    https://www.ddlgforu...names-to-daddy/

     

     

    Thank you! For taking the time to share this link with me because you thought about me, that is SO kind! Thank you!  ^_^ :heart:  Yes, I feel much better. At the beginning, we used our regular pet names but now with the DDLG dynamic developing, we became more creative and there are some names I use for him only when I am in Little Space so he knows I'm there, and my partner will also call me "Princess" or "Little One" only when it's clear for the both of us that we are both in the right mindset for the Little time (sometimes he's very busy with work and I can be in Little Space without him being mentally available so the way he uses pet names for me is always a good indication, so we can respect each other's mental space - if it makes sense). I remember reading this thread at the very beginning when I signed up 2 months ago, so thank you very much for the link and reminding me it was there! xxx - Bee  :) 


    • Littlest_Bee likes this

      🌷   45, Little, France (French) Little age: 3 to 6 years old   🌷 

     

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