Help please. I keep shaming myself.

[Babeey_Girl3]

Hello, I have tried this site a few times but right after I stop going on and try to not be who I am. I’ve struggled with anxiety since I was very little and was extremely bullied since first grade to a point I was being told to kill myself. I’m going to be twenty five soon and it’s become extremely hard to not regress or enter little space.

 

I realized about in my first year of college I regressed when anxious and stressed. Sometimes it was intentionally I would watch my favorite movies from when I was three and four and pull out my stuff animals. Others time I would slip to a point where I was very little, didn’t know what was happening and was very scared. I’m still trying to figure if I’m an age regressor, little or both.

 

The biggest hurdle for me is that I work in childcare and I few uncomfortable going to work after I regressed the day before. I’ve never get little when I work. I tend to work very well with children’s with behaviors and am always professional and I’m a clear headspace to be fully available. I just don’t want someone to find out, tell others and then I’m no longer able to do what I’m great at. The other hurdle is that I write songs and have horrible stage fright. I would love to work through but if I do, would I be able to sell my songs if people found out I go into little space?

 

I would never shame someone else but will always shame myself. It has affected my mental state and I have gained back five pounds after doing all the work over an entire year to loose fifty pounds and keep it up. Not to mention I’ve never even been intimate or in a relationship with someone because my mental health has always taken over my life. I just don’t know what to do and all these thoughts keep dragging me down. All I want to do is slip into my fuzzy nightie, cuddle with my build a bare and watch Milan but I keep blocking myself.

 

Any advice or any one who can relate?

[Guest Teasing Tink]

I'm really sorry you had such an awful experience early on in life. But I'm glad you're still here.

 

What do you think the reason is for blocking/shaming yourself for going into little space? It sounds like you may have a mental block out of a fear of others discovering that you're into this. I doubt anyone will find out though, unless you directly tell them what you're into and all about it. Or if they already know about DD/lg, are intuitive and connect the dots. I feel like enough adults are into child-like things that no one really stops to question or criticize it as unusual. Plus you work with kids, so I think one would already expect you to be into those types of things and wouldn't really bat an eyelid.

 

It sounds like maybe it's just paranoia in that case, and you just need to give yourself permission to relax by telling yourself it's safe and perfectly okay for little you to come out and play. Your inner child needs love and healing. It's important and even a necessity that you take the time to tend to it.

[Babeey_Girl3]

Hello,

 

I am mostly afraid what happens if someone found out like a boss. I think your right that there’s some paranoia. It took me almost a whole month to grow courage to look at the post I made and answer ur reply. One of the biggest blocks for me is that my dad is very heavily Christian and follow by the Bible. My faith is important to me to and I’ve grown up in a very conservative family. Im already the odd one out for my differences in politics. I live at home still too, so it makes me even more paranoid. My mom is definitely one to shame me if she figured it out.

 

I also have one good friend and i talked about this a little and they have been understanding with the little they know. I know if I embrace myself, it’s be easer to put myself into the world and stop huffing. I want to make friends and even meet someone and have a romantic relationship. It’s just hard when I’m so against myself and afraid of being humiliated and terrorized again.

 

Thank you so much for your reply and to those who liked the post.

[Guest Teasing Tink]

I'm just seeing this now.

 

So it sounds like you may have developed social anxiety from your past trauma of being bullied, which makes sense. Social anxiety can cause that distortion/paranoia in thinking even if it's coming from a valid place.

 

And it sounds like it's internalized shame if the main reason you feel compelled to shame yourself is in anticipation of your parents' judgement of it. It's natural to become independent and break away from you parents when you enter adulthood. I know it's challenging to live in the same house as them when you feel they're not supportive. There's always going to be people who won't understand aspects of ourselves or choices we make in life, views we have -- family or not. All we can do is keep these things private with those who can't handle it and surround yourself with more people who are aligned with your values. I'm glad you already have one friend. I'm sure you know how to keep yourself safe and keep things private. I'm not sure how invasive your parents are though, and I would hope they at least respect your privacy to some degree. Maybe you can share a place with a friend at some point, because it doesn't seem like you're in the most supportive environment.

 

And I don't know your boss, but I don't think you have anything to worry about there unless something already happened that gave you real reason to be concerned. I would just chalk it up to past trauma, and work on healing that more.

 

Also, give yourself some credit for how far you've come, cuz it sounds like you've already done a lot to improve things. Growth is a spiral, and not a straight line. You're doing great despite your circumstances.

[LittleElfLau]

Hi there,

 

I'm so sorry to hear you're having a hard time with this! I can relate to the paranoia and internalized shame. What I've found helpful in these situations is to keep talking about this world with people who understand you - it should help you 'normalize' this life style and eventually give you more positive experiences than (even imagined) negative experiences with it. Hopefully it would eventually make you more confident with your littleness and help you toss aside the (even imagined) judgement of others. Being little is not something we need to share with everyone, only the people who deserve it. And as Bratty Pixie said, luckily being into childish things is fairly common these days, so I doubt anyone would really find it too weird. I hope things keep getting better for you! <3  

[Babeey_Girl3]

Thank you to both of you. Your words have really helped me think more positively and not be so ashamed. I even allowed myself this weekend to stop fighting myself and become little. I felt less stressed afterwards, though it can be difficult for me to come out of my little space.

[Guest Sweetielynn]

I'm sorry you were bullied. I went through bullying when I was in middle and high school. I think that influenced my little age. I've gone through periods of shaming myself for being little and joined then left then rejoined sites like this because of it. I'm trying to be more accepting of my little side because I realize I need that headspace to get away from stress and anxiety so I'm working on it. It's not harming anyone and helps me.

Said all that to say I can understand where you're coming from. I hope you can embrace your little side more.

[Pookee]

Hello, I have tried this site a few times but right after I stop going on and try to not be who I am. I’ve struggled with anxiety since I was very little and was extremely bullied since first grade to a point I was being told to kill myself. I’m going to be twenty five soon and it’s become extremely hard to not regress or enter little space.

 

I realized about in my first year of college I regressed when anxious and stressed. Sometimes it was intentionally I would watch my favorite movies from when I was three and four and pull out my stuff animals. Others time I would slip to a point where I was very little, didn’t know what was happening and was very scared. I’m still trying to figure if I’m an age regressor, little or both.

 

The biggest hurdle for me is that I work in childcare and I few uncomfortable going to work after I regressed the day before. I’ve never get little when I work. I tend to work very well with children’s with behaviors and am always professional and I’m a clear headspace to be fully available. I just don’t want someone to find out, tell others and then I’m no longer able to do what I’m great at. The other hurdle is that I write songs and have horrible stage fright. I would love to work through but if I do, would I be able to sell my songs if people found out I go into little space?

 

I would never shame someone else but will always shame myself. It has affected my mental state and I have gained back five pounds after doing all the work over an entire year to loose fifty pounds and keep it up. Not to mention I’ve never even been intimate or in a relationship with someone because my mental health has always taken over my life. I just don’t know what to do and all these thoughts keep dragging me down. All I want to do is slip into my fuzzy nightie, cuddle with my build a bare and watch Milan but I keep blocking myself.

 

Any advice or any one who can relate?

 

Hello, Babeey_Girl3! Let me start off by saying I am terribly sorry that you were bullied and harassed in your younger years, coming up. it is never easy and only gets worse with age through out Elementary, Middle and High school. I know because I can relate. I was emotionally and physically harassed through-out the day, only to get the same treatment coming home. you learn more about insecurities and self-hate than education could ever provide you.

 

It is hard overcoming self-loathe and even worse as you attempt to love yourself, but it is never out of reach. if no one gives you that value then you need to value yourself; tell yourself you are worth it because you are, give yourself credit and take the time to just be you and self-care on that fact alone. you are worth every penny, every second, and are no different than anyone else roaming this earth. selfishness is a broad term. it will come eventually and it is possible.

 

I’m going to be twenty five soon and it’s become extremely hard to not regress or enter little space.

 

I realized about in my first year of college I regressed when anxious and stressed. Sometimes it was intentionally I would watch my favorite movies from when I was three and four and pull out my stuff animals. Others time I would slip to a point where I was very little, didn’t know what was happening and was very scared. I’m still trying to figure if I’m an age regressor, little or both.

 

I have had that same experience as well, where I would regress and not know where I am at times or black out from excessive stress-- though, that could also be from either Social anxiety or Panic attacks.

 

Besides the research, this is something I got used to. I got used to being in "Middle mode" and grabbing plushies to snuggle with or wearing my fuzziest, child-like pajamas. the more you realize and let yourself-- ALLOW yourself to feel what it is your feeling in that moment without criticizing or saying "This is wrong" and "I shouldn't be doing this...", then you'll start to feel less panicked and that fear will be alleviated.

 

You know what you are in relation to DDLG and know that it's not life-threatening or parasitic, so if that's where your heart lies, go with it.

 

The biggest hurdle for me is that I work in childcare and I few uncomfortable going to work after I regressed the day before. I’ve never get little when I work. I tend to work very well with children’s with behaviors and am always professional and I’m a clear headspace to be fully available. I just don’t want someone to find out, tell others and then I’m no longer able to do what I’m great at.

 

This is about control. the more you repress your Little side, the more active and frequent it will show and thus, harder it will be to manage it. you have to schedule a time to self-care that part of you because it is there. ignoring it and allowing those feelings to fester is neglecting a piece of yourself and what you need emotionally.

 

Maintain that through Little Space. do something that makes it come out and enjoy it. regardless, we can't deny that all Adults need to have some time dedicated to themselves, in which circles back to self-value and nurturing this side of you. it's not weird at all.

 

The other hurdle is that I write songs and have horrible stage fright. I would love to work through but if I do, would I be able to sell my songs if people found out I go into little space?

 

Working on stage fright comes with confidence and can be worked on separately, even if stage fright can have a domino effect on your regression. working on regression, again, comes with control and management.

 

DDLG is an adult kink and Age regression can as well be beneficially therapeutic, if you allow it to. no one has to know about it unless you want that to be made public.

 

and if you want that made public then who would care? your fan base? your colleagues? why would it matter, it's what makes you you! most public figures I've seen who are into the DDLG kink allow the people to do what they want with the info; join, leave, or be indifferent.

 

people can't have their cake and eat it too and you can't appease everyone. don't allow people's say so to have an effect on you and don't let it affect your way of living. if they don't like you, then they don't like you. if they love you, then they love you. why should you have to fret over it if they aren't?

 

Now, if you are worried about regression taking up more of your time in the Music industry, then that comes with management, which I already talked about.

 

I would never shame someone else but will always shame myself. It has affected my mental state and I have gained back five pounds after doing all the work over an entire year to loose fifty pounds and keep it up. Not to mention I’ve never even been intimate or in a relationship with someone because my mental health has always taken over my life. I just don’t know what to do and all these thoughts keep dragging me down. All I want to do is slip into my fuzzy nightie, cuddle with my build a bare and watch Milan but I keep blocking myself.

 

Any advice or any one who can relate?

 

"You are not a grown-up unless you are a child." Many people will sit here and tell you "That's not right!" or "That's stupid!" or "You're gonna make yourself age backwards!" and all that usual stuff. it's not right but some people of society aren't going to care. at the end of the day, the only person you have to care about is yourself, and if you have a Caregiver too, then you and that Caregiver.

 

You made a post wanting to get help and it shows. you want it and loving you starts with acknowledging that it's broken and you want to fix it. reaching out for help is only the beginning. stop putting yourself down and love you for you because no one else will. it will be hard, yes, but it is, again, never easy.

 

 

We're all onions. "onions have layers."

 

                                               ^ Shrek.

 

 

My PMs are always open! you are loved and amazing in your own right.

Edited November 10, 2021 by Pookee