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An issue with Daddy.


LittleElisa
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Hopefully this is the right area to post this in. If not, apologizes. 

 

I've always been extremely open with anyone I date about being a little girl. I tell them upfront, "Hey, I'm into DDLG/ABDL, this is what it is, this is how I am, and this is what makes me happy." So far, every guy I have dated has claimed they are into the whole Daddy thing, but when I finally get the strength to show them to what degree I'm into it, they end up getting "overwhelmed". 

 

The thing is, I never just throw them fully into it. I start small and build them up to it as my comfort level grows with the relationship. Some of them have accepted it, some of them not so much. My current Daddy was into being called Daddy when we met. I thought this would make things a little easier, but it's turned out to be a struggle. I introduced him to the DDLG/ABDL world and he seemed to take to it well. The past couple of days, I've been little almost nonstop. In my opinion, I haven't even been -that- little compared to how I can be. Sometimes Daddy takes to it, and sometimes he almost ignores it.

 

The problem comes when we go to bed late last night and I tell him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't like me being little. He says he doesn't want to talk about it so late, so naturally I pull away from him and he ends up talking about it for a few minutes. He tells me that he doesn't "have an opinion" about it, sometimes he likes it, sometimes he doesn't. He tells me that he feels like he has to take care of me nonstop when I'm little, and that stresses him out because he's focused on his grown up things. 

 

This hurt because I see our relationship as I take care of him most of the time. I clean, I cook, I do the laundry, I get him things when he asks, etc. Even when I'm little, I do whatever I can to take care of him so when he says that he has to take care of me, it's almost funny. He doesn't dress me, bring me little snacks, give me baths, etc. When I'm little, I'm pretty much taking care of myself and that's okay, because I've done it by myself for my whole life and I told him that. 

 

I've been going through age regression since before I was 8 years old. I wore diapers for the fun of it until I was 4 (which is also my little age) and knew I wanted to wear them when I was 8-9. I'm an extremely low functioning girl with a list of mental illnesses and being little is the only way I can happily make it through the day. It's how I've always coped with things, and when I take that part of myself out of life, I end up beyond miserable. 

 

I love my Daddy more than anything, but I need help figuring out how I can get him to understand that this is me, and the whole thing heavily exists outside of the bedroom. Daddy is strict and hardened by years of being in the military and having a conversation with him is pretty much impossible. (Not bad communication skills, he's just a listener, not a talker.) Any feedback, opinions, suggestions is appreciated. xoxo

 

 

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Is there a way you could point him to resources? He doesn't have to talk, he just has to understand. Emphasize the importance that a 24 7 little needs a 24 7 Daddy. 

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This sounds like a tough situation and I'm sorry you're in it. :( Have you tried writing as a way to communicate? Sometimes just opening up a blank spiral and writing out your feelings, then handing it to the other person, giving them as much time as they need to absorb it, then that person responding, trading it back and forth until you work the issue out might help. Another way is to find out his top 5 needs in your relationship and you to share yours. Maybe they can all work well together if you're both a bit more flexible. :) Wishing you luck on this. :)

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Thank you for the responses! Daddy saw how much what he said bothered me, and he seems to have stepped up a little bit more and I've tried to calm down my little side a bit while he's doing important things. <3

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Guest DominantBlogger

I can understand both sides of this situation.  I don't think it means he isn't a Daddy or a good Daddy for you.  I think it may just be more of an issue where he is feeling alone in the 'adult' side of the relationship.  Often, being a Big in a DDlg relationship is like being a single parent.  It doesn't mean one would change it for the world, but it can be very lonely at times, too.

 

I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings.  Have you asked him how you can help him?

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I think you have to find a balance. Daddy and I are working on this too. What I mean is, knowing when it's okay to ask for your Daddy's attention when you're in little space and when you need to occupy yourself. Your Daddy also needs to give a little too though, if he intends to be your Daddy, he can't expect you to take care of yourself all the time. You just have to find a place where both of you are happy.
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You have explained your situation very well, and to a point, I have been there too.

 

It sounds like he enjoys it, but for the moment, in limited doses. Maybe having just some time during the day would work better and gradually working up to more time.

 

I have had times where I (little) have been put to bed at 7pm and then got up as big me and we have spent the evening together as grown ups. This worked as a compromise.

 

I know the feeling of wanting to be 24/7. Hopefully things are on the improve soon.

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Guest Pouty Kitten

I'm sorry.. I know that must be hard for you to deal with.

 

I think if you gave him a few articles to read about the lifestyle and maybe reiterate how it helps you cope, it'll help him understand better.

 

If you ever need to talk, I'm a message away!

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I think there definitely needs to be a balance between being taken care of and taking care of your partner. When your partner needs you as an adult, you should be able to sense it and step up to the challenge immediately. There will be times when being a 'little' is inappropriate and I think most littles can sense it. However, he should likewise understand your needs and not just pull away from a discussion with you. When there's an issue, it should be discussed immediately. I think you should ask him to be honest about how he really feels and to not give cop out answers. A primary characteristic of a daddy is that of a caretaker so if he feels the role is 'stressful' then he may be at odds with what it really means to be a daddy. Rough sex and DDLG play is one of the least important parts of the relationship in my opinion but a lot of men confuse it as the focal point. It takes a particular kind of personality to adapt to the role on both ends. It's important that he makes you feel just as special as you make him feel all the time. Any relationship is a lot of work but this dynamic particularly requires a lot of nurturing on both ends. Even when it's exhausting, it should still be satisfying because you love the person and want to make them happy. When this mindset isnts present, understandings crop up and undermine the purity and sense of trust. I think it's better to get things out in the open before this happens.

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Hopefully this is the right area to post this in. If not, apologizes. 

 

I've always been extremely open with anyone I date about being a little girl. I tell them upfront, "Hey, I'm into DDLG/ABDL, this is what it is, this is how I am, and this is what makes me happy." So far, every guy I have dated has claimed they are into the whole Daddy thing, but when I finally get the strength to show them to what degree I'm into it, they end up getting "overwhelmed". 

 

The thing is, I never just throw them fully into it. I start small and build them up to it as my comfort level grows with the relationship. Some of them have accepted it, some of them not so much. My current Daddy was into being called Daddy when we met. I thought this would make things a little easier, but it's turned out to be a struggle. I introduced him to the DDLG/ABDL world and he seemed to take to it well. The past couple of days, I've been little almost nonstop. In my opinion, I haven't even been -that- little compared to how I can be. Sometimes Daddy takes to it, and sometimes he almost ignores it.

 

The problem comes when we go to bed late last night and I tell him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't like me being little. He says he doesn't want to talk about it so late, so naturally I pull away from him and he ends up talking about it for a few minutes. He tells me that he doesn't "have an opinion" about it, sometimes he likes it, sometimes he doesn't. He tells me that he feels like he has to take care of me nonstop when I'm little, and that stresses him out because he's focused on his grown up things. 

 

This hurt because I see our relationship as I take care of him most of the time. I clean, I cook, I do the laundry, I get him things when he asks, etc. Even when I'm little, I do whatever I can to take care of him so when he says that he has to take care of me, it's almost funny. He doesn't dress me, bring me little snacks, give me baths, etc. When I'm little, I'm pretty much taking care of myself and that's okay, because I've done it by myself for my whole life and I told him that. 

 

I've been going through age regression since before I was 8 years old. I wore diapers for the fun of it until I was 4 (which is also my little age) and knew I wanted to wear them when I was 8-9. I'm an extremely low functioning girl with a list of mental illnesses and being little is the only way I can happily make it through the day. It's how I've always coped with things, and when I take that part of myself out of life, I end up beyond miserable. 

 

I love my Daddy more than anything, but I need help figuring out how I can get him to understand that this is me, and the whole thing heavily exists outside of the bedroom. Daddy is strict and hardened by years of being in the military and having a conversation with him is pretty much impossible. (Not bad communication skills, he's just a listener, not a talker.) Any feedback, opinions, suggestions is appreciated. xoxo

I understand what you're saying about it being the only way you can make it through the day. I have several emotional/mental problems and being little really does help.... And it helps me love my daddy more.

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So... Me and my daddy haven't been together long... But everything just seems to fit and work. He loves me being his lil girl and I love everything that entails. He usually talks to me everyday and has even come by in the middle of the night to reassure me that he cares about me and how I'm feeling! So sweet! Plus the things he did to me in bed were amazing! But now he's gone almost 2 full days with radio silence! I know he's been hurt really bad before and I don't know what's going on... It's starting to make me think he may not like me being little all the time... Help??!
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Guest sightsoblind

To both of you having issues...


to assume makes an ass out of u and me

relationships are hard no matter who or how... I am 10 years into a marriage that 9 of which were spent in 24/7 D/s mode but the reality is it can't be that way truly... life happens sometimes he needs a partner not just a little

 

The best way to work on this with him is to address it as such
"I understand you feel ...insert feelings... but please tell me what makes you feel that way and what you need me to change."

Parents LOVE their children but have you ever taken a stay at home mother out away from their kids you get this... I love the hell out of them but I just need to talk to a grown up sometimes please for the love of god pass me a beer and someone make an inappropriate pass at the waiter.

Daddy's are not pedos they don't want a real child. They want an adult who they can love nuture and protect (in general) SO just like you want little time he wants a bit of big you time so you can act like adults.

 

Compromise is not saying BUT I STILL DO STUFF it's saying I recognise a need in you and will work to address it just as you recognised a need in me.

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