Parenting and Pacifiers- Advice?

[lilgiggleberry]

Looking for others' perspectives on this because I am feeling very conflicted and confused. Is it okay for an adult, little or not, to suck on a pacifier when children are around?

 

Pacifiers are a bit more than just DDLG for me. I am autistic and pacifiers are one of my special interests. They have helped me with anxiety for most of my life and sometimes I even use them to keep myself from chewing on my mouth and lips.

 

My Daddy has 2 kids (10+), and both know about my pacifiers. They have seen them around, and have seen me with a pacifier in my mouth more than a few times. Sometimes they have asked why, and I have told them I find them very calming and good for my anxiety. I sometimes wonder if his kid has asked more than once because that answer wasn't enough to satisfy their curiosity.

 

I have talked to my Daddy about this and he says it's not a big deal, but I worry and ruminate a lot. The more I bond with these kids, the more I worry the younger is looking to me as a role model, and that this doesn't fit the image of what a "role model" for a child should be.

 

So here are some questions Is there something more I should say if the kids ask about them? Should I keep them out of sight? What do you think I should do?

[quietbunny]

I think that the answer is pretty nuanced if I'm honest. It depends on the child's parent.

In my personal opinion, I think it's okay for them to know about you using pacifiers as a coping skill, as a special interest, and maybe as a hobby. But I wouldn't clue them in on anything DDLG or kink related. It's important to keep some sort of boundary both for their age and the roles of parent/child.

If you daddy doesn't have a problem with them seeing your pacifiers then I think that it's okay.

Idk I hope this helps? This is a tricky situation and I know it cant be comfortable. 

[Vampiress]

I don't have kids or any experience with this, but I think it would be okay. At their age I think they'd understand if you and their father talk to them about autisim and how it can affect people, ways they might cope, and then make it specifically about you. I think the only time I'd say you really should consider not using it is when they invite friends over if that's ever a thing because their friends won't understand and might cause them issues like bullying or making fun of them. I also agree with sunnybaby to keep the kink out of it, never explain that to them or let them see those kind of things.

[Guest LittleElizabethBun]

...redacted... Edited November 19, 2021 by LittleElizabethBun

[Guest littlebunny84]

I have kids and my eldest understands that I find a pacifier calming.  I never use my pacifier around my youngest because they're easily influenced and like to be babied even though they're well past that stage!    So, I think it can depend on each child.

 

The important thing is that nothing kink should ever be done around children and that link should never be there.  And Vampiress makes a very good point about keeping that away from any friends the kids might have around.

 

If you take your lead from your Daddy and he's comfortable with you using your pacifier around the kids then I think it's fine, it's just a part of you being yourself and that's okay.