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I’m struggling


Selvmord

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Hello,

 

I’m new to the community and have been in a relationship for 13, years. I have always found myself being a natural caregiver and have been so excited the last two years because this woman and I have been naturally developing a ddlg relationship. It is my dream to someday earn the status of being her daddy.

 

Things had been going along so well. I’ve been calling her names like little girl, my special girl, baby, etc. And she has responded positive to this. I spoil her with gifts and she loves them. I have taken her to buy stuffed animals and she has lamented to me that most guys would think it stupid or annoying but not me. Just last week she asked me to tell her a story for bed. I was so happy ans so excited and I told her a story that I created in the spot that expressed the kind of love that I want to give her but with fictional people. She acted like she loved it.

 

Just a few days ago she told me she wants to go see the new Clifford movie. I of course was overjoyed. And over drinks and dinnner I asked her if she would like a Clifford stuffed animal and if she would take it with us to the movie. She said she would and we began to have a deeper conversation about how our relationship was developing into this kind thing. I began to really open up and tell her that I thought most men actually want this but they are too scared to admit it. But I am not and that I while I know she is a strong woman perfectly capable of taking care of herself and I respect her for it……I still want her to be my little girl. Her response:

 

I already was someone’s little girl.

 

I’m surprised and feeling rejected. It’s been 4 days and I can’t help but feel that this was a huge setback and maybe I am completely misunderstanding our situation. I tried and I think successfully showed no reaction but on the inside it hurt.

 

Ever since this I thought maybe it’s best to give her some space. Maybe she was feeling smothered and she’d let me know when it would be exciting to return to the dynamic. So I have not done any behavior that I consider part of that. She has not given any sign she misses it.

 

What is happening? I’m looking for others experiences and I do not want this to end.

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talk to her, ask her what she means if she has a platonic daddy and didn't tell you it matters, that she chose not to disclose it to you and to many people that would be considered crossing boundaries or a betrayal

 

good luck, i think space is the wrong thing you both need to be forward and honest about your feelings so you have the knowledge to make decisions

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I'm confused. If she said she, "already was" that's past tense and would mean things are over. Or did she say she "already IS", as there is a very big difference between the two statements.
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Based on what you said and the phrasing you used, it sounds like she previously was someone’s little. Unless you are leaving out something, it appears that she was trying to tell you that she already is interested in that type of dynamic because she has had it before.

Talk to her and let her know how you are feeling about things, ask for clarity, and make sure you get all the answer you need/want and hear her out about what she wants/needs.

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I'm confused. If she said she, "already was" that's past tense and would mean things are over. Or did she say she "already IS", as there is a very big difference between the two statements.

Past tense. But said in a way that I took as she was not interested

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Thank you for the responses. I have so much to learn about this but also about my partner even though we have been together for so long.

 

I haven’t brought it up again, but the good news is that she acting more cute and little again. At the moment she is watching Jessica Jones and has her stuffed owl that I bought her from build a bear. Maybe I just took it the wrong way. But still I would love to hear from other daddies and littles out there on this dynamic and how it developed and what obstacles came and went. I’ve never been happier in a relationship and want this to last forever.

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You kind of cut off the details right at the crucial moment! What was the conversation following "I already was someone’s little girl"? Surely it didn't end there.

 

It might actually be a positive thing. She understands this dynamic on a personal level from past experience, so with the right person (hopefully you), she might be willing to revisit that and explore it with a receptive person. Maybe she was hurt by her past experience with it and might need some reassurance.

 

The only reason you'd feel rejected is because you think (or she subsequently said) that she has "been there, done that" and doesn't want to revisit it. But if it is a part of her, and things like her asking for a bedtime story and other clues might suggest it is, then it may be something she wants to rekindle with you.

 

Talk to her. More talking will get you the answers you need about what she truly wants and whether or not it aligns with what you want.

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