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Scared little, could use some advice please


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I have explored my submissive/little side and I really don’t want to stop but I’m a bit terrified. So far I’ve only chatted with people online and done voice calls with one. I feel like my whole world will collapse or something if they see me or if they know where I am then I’ll definitely be kidnapped or something. I know I need to be careful but I really want to do more than messaging at the same time. It’s like a mini war going on in me. My anxiety is definitely winning at this point. I would love some advice if you can understand what I’m trying to explain.
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i’ve had some of the same issues - especially being part of a dynamic that requires so much trust from both parties. While this may not work for everyone, what worked for me was starting out ~small~. First, i made little friends and talked to them about how the felt coming into this dynamic. Once I was comfortable with other Littles/Subs, i then started chatting with Daddies/Doms. There are a lot of both that are open to being resources for you to learn and being a safe person to ask questions. Now, to touch on your bigger fears -


what if they see me? : Don’t let anyone force you into revealing yourself until you’re ready! As you can tell by my profile, i did a half photo. it took me awhile to get to this point, however, the half photo allows a sort of reveal while also remaining anonymous and safe. nothing about the photo is identifying enough that someone could see me in public and approach me.


if they know where I am then i’ll definitely be kidnapped : absolutely an understandable fear! like in my earlier points, do not let anyone force you into revealing more than you’re comfortable with. I have NYC on my profile because it’s a big city with tons of people! but if you’re in a smaller area, you could say your state/province/etc but again, only if you’re comfortable!


Ultimately, wanting to move this dynamic as well as any other dynamic into everyday life and not just online is a huge commitment and a huge deal. your fears and feelings are completely justified. maybe start small at a local meet and great that are sometimes posted on here or other sites? you could always bring a friend! or you could reach out to others and wait until you completely trust that person and have that bond to then suggest a public meet up.


Always, always, always feel free to message me if you want to talk this through more and need another anxious Little’s perspective. Remember your fears and feelings are valid but they’re worth working through :)

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Guest deerdan

You are not wrong to be cautious, there are definitely people with ill intentions hiding within BDSM and DDLG communities. That being said it might take some time to vet people online to ensure they are who they claim to be and that they are genuine about their interest towards you.


If somebody is pressuring you to meet or disclose your location, it's fair to say that's a red flag - you are not obligated to meet anyone or give any information you don't want them to know. 


When you do come across someone that you would like to know more and maybe even meet and begin exploring your little/submissive side with, make sure you are meeting them in a public place for the first time for your safety. You can arrange as many public meets as you want till you feel comfortable being alone with them. You could suggest keeping face masks on to maintain some level of anonymity till you feel ready for them to see you. Also, you could arrange to meet someplace that isn't necessarily your home town, so the person wouldn't be in the area that you are normally in. 


Hopefully you'll find ways to cope with the anxiety ♡

Edited by deerdan
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Guest DeadStarsStillBurn

Why not have them meet a friend you trust who they could not easily harm? They could feel the person out to see if they have any creepy intentions or behaviors. And yes, being cautious would be good too. You could see if you can find them on LinkedIn and then if they did try to pull anything you could report them to their employer.


Generally speaking, meeting in a public space and using an alias name at first is a safe approach in my experience.

Edited by DeadStarsStillBurn
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