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Fear of littlespace?


nuggetbb
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Hey, Im a newer little who has found it very difficult to explore littlespace because.. well, whenever I do, I get super lonely and sad, and I tend to say mean things about myself?

 

 

I feel these things outside of littlespace too, but I'm able to manage it better as big me. But im afraid of spiraling into a sobbing mess alone, so I just.. don't try. Even though I want to! I really want to...

 

 

Does anyone else experience this? And if you have, do you have any tips? Some useful info would be that I live with family, im single, and I don't have friends to be little with..

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Guest Blanketfortninja

A Little’s littlespace is an extended experience (It is also called extended mind thesis or extended cognition). It means when you are in your littlespace, you can feel it within you and around you. In that experience, your mind and body experiences emotions, thoughts,and behaviors related to your littlespace.

 

Now, generally; those emotions, thoughts, and behaviors tend to be relaxing and joyful.

 

But, in your case, since those emotions includes loneliness, crying, and sadness and you tend to say mean things about yourself. That means something happened that changed the conditions to those emotions, behaviors and thoughts.

 

 

That leads to three hypothesises,

 

1. In your past relationships, or past years, you experienced rejection, lack of attention in some bad relationship.

 

2. You used to be blamed at for other people's issues. Or you used to get yelled at in the past.

 

3. Those memories become linked to your littlespace somehow.

 

 

What do you think about those ? Do you remember any memories like those from your past ?

 

 

To manage those, you will have to practice mindfulness techniques. Like this example below.

 

1. Sit on the bed.

2. Now think of your littlespace.

3. Remember the emotions, thoughts, and behaviors of crying, loneliness and negative talk.

4. Take slow deep breath. Focus on your breath.

5. As you breath, start some relaxing music.

6. As you listen to the music, gently caress your shoulders like the big you is comforting the little you.

7. Continue to breath, listen and caress

8. Say to yourself "It is all right. I am good. Nothing is my fault. I am going to be good to myself. I will take care of myself. I love myself"

9. Then stop and lay down and do some relaxation like laying laying for few minutes until your body feels relaxed.

 

What I am telling you above is desensitization. It is used to lower down feeling of stress toward something. Here, what we are doing it is teaching your mind to relax and focus on the positive while thinking about littlespace.

Edited by Blanketfortninja
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A Little’s littlespace is an extended experience (It is also called extended mind thesis or extended cognition). It means when you are in your littlespace, you can feel it within you and around you. In that experience, your mind and body experiences emotions, thoughts,and behaviors related to your littlespace.

Now, generally; those emotions, thoughts, and behaviors tend to be relaxing and joyful.

But, in your case, since those emotions includes loneliness, crying, and sadness and you tend to say mean things about yourself. That means something happened that changed the conditions to those emotions, behaviors and thoughts.

That leads to three hypothesises,

1. In your past relationships, or past years, you experienced rejection, lack of attention in some bad relationship.

2. You used to be blamed at for other people's issues. Or you used to get yelled at in the past.

3. Those memories become linked to your littlespace somehow.

What do you think about those ? Do you remember any memories like those from your past ?

To manage those, you will have to practice mindfulness techniques. Like this example below.

1. Sit on the bed.

2. Now think of your littlespace.

3. Remember the emotions, thoughts, and behaviors of crying, loneliness and negative talk.

4. Take slow deep breath. Focus on your breath.

5. As you breath, start some relaxing music.

6. As you listen to the music, gently caress your shoulders like the big you is comforting the little you.

7. Continue to breath, listen and caress

8. Say to yourself "It is all right. I am good. Nothing is my fault. I am going to be good to myself. I will take care of myself. I love myself"

9. Then stop and lay down and do some relaxation like laying laying for few minutes until your body feels relaxed.

What I am telling you above is desensitization. It is used to lower down feeling of stress toward something. Here, what we are doing it is teaching your mind to relax and focus on the positive while thinking about littlespace.

Yeah, number 1 is exactly it! Most of my friendships growing up, and all of my past relationships was basically that. Caused me to feel weird and unworthy in a way, like I don't deserve love or friends?

 

Ill definitely give that technique a try, I've never done that before to be honest.

 

Thanks for responding! I appreciate your help :]

Edited by nuggetbb
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A Little’s littlespace is an extended experience (It is also called extended mind thesis or extended cognition). It means when you are in your littlespace, you can feel it within you and around you. In that experience, your mind and body experiences emotions, thoughts,and behaviors related to your littlespace.

 

Now, generally; those emotions, thoughts, and behaviors tend to be relaxing and joyful.

 

Awesome response. I do not have these issues in little space but can use these skills in adult life.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

when i first started exploring my little side i was a lot like this (and still am tbh), but what helped me was joining a discord group! hte one  i loved sadly went down, but there was a chat where you could ping for a "baby sitter" or basically an open dom who would watch over you and hang out while you got little to make sure you were ok! totally platonic as most of the people in that server had partners- thats actually where i met my partner tho, we only got together years later when he reached out again but he used to be the one to answer my ping for a sitter! 

i still feel a lot of fear being little now too, more so with being a burden or messing up, but my partner is helping me heal that side of myself and he does a lot to make me feel safe and good when i get small! i feel its very natural though to feel what you fell when small. When kids feel bad its usually not rationalized and they havent learned a lot of skills to help it stop like adults, and when you get little a lof of people regress to that full childlike mindset, so those skills youve learned can go away. if you already struggle with those types of thoughts, little you will too, but itll seem a lot more, because little you doesnt grasp how to handle those feelings. Youre not alone in this though- thats important to remember!! using the skills they posted above will really help in the long run <33

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