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I really need someone to talk about something that happened with my daddy


Dinorawrx
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Hey,

 

If you clicked here thank you. I have no friends and I need advice.

 

My daddy and I went out yesterday and had a really good time, until... I called my mom to ask her something. My daddy and my family don’t get along very well so I took the call outside the car, I was trying to be polite so I didn’t trigger him. However next thing I know he gets out the car (we’re in the mall parking lot) and he just starts walking and leaves me. I run after him and he goes ‘no I know what that was I’m taking the bus I’m not stupid’ at this point I’m so so confused cause I was just on the phone to my mom!!

 

I eventually go back to my car after realising how stupid I look running after him, I felt so stupid I was dressed really little and had my puppy ears on.

 

He eventually comes back to the car and tells me I looked slutty and my body language when I was on the phone looked suggestive and like I was horny. I said I was on the phone to my mom and I even showed him I was on the phone to my mom and even called my mom again on speaker in the car in front of him and he still goes ‘I know what I saw , you think I’m a chump, if you’re cheating on me tell me’ but I am not I was just on the phone to my mom!! This phone call with my mom only lasted 5 min and caused all of this!

 

Am In the wrong for being really hurt over all this I don’t even know how to process what happened or what it even means I’m scared to ever call my mom or anyone in front of him again and I know I shouldn’t be.

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Guest RaggedyRagdoll

Hi-

I’m not going to mince words.

Run.

Like, right now and permanently.

This is manipulative, abusive, unreasonable, unacceptable and such a huge red flag.

I know it can be hard to see things clearly when you’re in the middle of it, but please, get out. From someone who has been there, this actually scares me for you.

Sending strength and love,

C

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Hey! 

 

You are absolutely not wrong for being hurt. I am so sorry that you went through this. You didn't do anything wrong at all. Your daddy's reaction to you is incredibly rude and abusive, and he should not be leaving a girl on their own like that at all. A daddy/partner/friend should not be leaving you scared and worried about upsetting them. I'm glad to hear that you know that you shouldn't be afraid of calling anyone. Do NOT cut contact of any of your friends or family.

 

Like Ragdoll said, you need to get away from him. Cut him off, and please protect yourself. His behavior is not right, he blew up on you, left you, said really hurtful things to you, made false accusations, and didn't even have the audacity to listen to you. Please do what you think is the best for yourself because this doesn't sound good at all. I know it's easier said than done but it's really worrying and we want you to be safe!! 

Edited by Envui
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This is extremely sad that you had to put up with this nonsense, especially outside while you were 'dressed really little and had my puppy ears on'.

 

I fully agree with  Ragdoll and Envui, this behaviour is controlling, manipulative and totally unacceptable. 

This man is badly needs help. Please take care of yourself and remove him from your life ASAP. 

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Hey, yeah, run, like now. Take it from me, I’ve had someone like that, who tried to manipulate me, called me an experiment even, when he broke it off with me he had the guts to call me an emotional abuser! When i’m just clingy and hate losing people. Like he taught me to recognize red flags. And when your ‘daddy’ accuses you of cheating when you were just talking to your mother, is a serious red flag, a real daddy would know that it was your mother and wouldn’t go accusing you, because he loves you and he knows that you love him. Tbh, I hate guys that cheat, it stinks, it really does, but when you find the right person, he’ll treat you with love and respect and know that you would never cheat on him.

 

Good luck.

Edited by PincessCaitlin
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You have heard this allready from the others and totally agree with them!! You need to get away from this so called "Daddy" sooner rather then later. I could never imagine treating my little the way he just did. You questioning your own reaction to his behavior is exactly what he wants, he is a insecure, immature, narcissist and you need to never speak to him again. Do not every allow someone treat you like this, the more he feels he can control you the worse he is going to treat you because it makes him feel better about himself knowing that you can control not only you not only physically but emotionally as well. 

This is not what a Daddy does and is emotionally abusive, a Daddy makes their little/sub feel loved, adored, cherished, and SAFE!!! That is the opposite of what he is doing. 

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Guest RaggedyRagdoll

I came back to expound on this because I was thinking about it a lot this morning and I’m so glad to see people rallying around you.

 

I just want to point out exactly what a slippery slope this is and why. Again, because I know when you’re in it, it’s easy to write off these little instances. It’s easy to believe the person acting this way when they say it isn’t a big deal. Or they apologize and say it won’t happen again (it will). Or even when they blame you, that *their* behavior is somehow your fault. This seems to be what you’re struggling with now.

 

1. First off, you are *never* responsible your partners behavior. Ever. This person is supposed to be a grown man. That means he needs to be in control of his emotions, his actions and his insecurities. IF he really believed that you stepped out of the car, to take a phone call from a man you were cheating on him with, then he absolutely has the right to decide to walk away and end the relationship. But, the fact that he only did that to make you chase him, came back, belittled and degraded you and put you in a situation where you were making desperate attempts to calm him down and pacify him shows that he did *not* actually believe that. He was throwing a tantrum. A very abusive, gross, tantrum.

2. You do not need to *prove* you were on the phone with your mother. Or anyone else. You told him you were on the phone with your mother. That’s the end of your side of the conversation. Period.

3. The fact that he doesn’t get along with your family is a massive red flag. Even if your family is awful, even if you hate them, your partner should *never* guilt you or make you uncomfortable for speaking to them. He can listen to you vent, he can agree that maybe they’re problematic, but he supports you doing what is best for you. That is not his lane.

4. Abusers *always* have an issue with the other people in your life. That’s because they want to separate you from everyone else so that you are completely reliant on them. So you no longer go to outside parties for clarity on their problematic behavior. So that they can gain more control over you. This is already happening to you. He has already put you in the mindset that you think it’s reasonable to step out of your car to take a phone call from your mother so that you don’t upset him. But even that upset him. The lesson he’s hoping you learn here is that it’s not okay for you to speak to your mother in his presence *at all*. Then it will be that you speak to your family period. If he finds out you’re talking to them *not* in his presence, he’ll accuse you of hiding things from him. Soon, if he hasn’t already, he will take issue with your friends and will repeat this behavior. Then it will be your coworkers. He won’t want you to go to after work happy hour or Christmas parties. And each time this happens you will get further and further from the realization that this is crazy and dangerous. It will always be something. And he will always blame you.

 

Like @PincessCaitlin, my abuser also left me. And although that’s not uncommon (abusers use you up, then blame you for changing), it is one of the biggest regrets of my life. That of all the times I tried to leave, I didn’t. Please listen to us who have been there, who see ourselves in you and your story. Be the one who drives off into the sunset. We are rooting for you.

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Just to echo others...been there. Run. Run. Run. And feel blessed you got out. He will escalate and you DO NOT deserve this type of treatment.

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im going to offer another and shorter perspective here

 

a few question to ask yourself

 

does he do this often? (if yes its a massive red flag and abusive)

would talking to him in a calm way resolve or at least alleviate the issue? (if no then you dont honestly have much of a relationship)

do you want to put up with this long term? (if no then make changes as best and safely as you can, protect and put yourself first because he is unlikely to consider your needs based on this post)

why does your daddy not get along with your family? (maybe he knows what he is doing is bad and is seeking to isolate you from friend and family its typical and common abusive behaviour, you are alone with only him, you are more likely to tolerate his actions)

 

i am sorry but healthy adults dont act like him

 

 

 you desserve better, please remember you desserve better.

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Your first instinct is usually the best to trust. Personally I wouldn't tolerate behavior like his, in any relationship much less DDlg. 

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  • 2 months later...

This is bad behavior that's just gonna get worse and it isn't true love.

 

He may have been charming at first (it may have been love bombing) or maybe he changed down the road.

 

Either way have a conversation about being mutual respectful and considerate. He won't listen he keeps getting aggressive.

 

Then walk away you and every other person on this planet deserves better than this.

 

 

It hurts to let go, but it's better than suffering. Good luck to anyone who reads this.

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I’m a little new to this forum and a little late to this party. I would still like to chime in.

 

I’m not sure how long you two have been together or how old you both are. He doesn’t sound very confident in your relationship and trust in you. If he’s young and new to this, this needs to be addressed. It’s very unhealthy for him to act like that. It’s also unhealthy to control or manipulate you. I have complete faith and trust in my little. I spend a lot of time with her but at no point do I prevent her or question her if she spends time with friends or family, even if we don’t get along. The opposite, I promote her to spend time with them. And she does the same with me. We have free choice to do so or not. We verbally support each and tell each other we miss each other. Ragdoll made many valid points.

 

If this is going on or you talk and he gets aggressive then it is time to let him go. It’s not healthy. It can get worst. The last thing you want is for it to make you shine less than what you are.

 

A true relationship works with trust, honesty, individuality, compassion, and respect. Love is built and supported by these pillars.

 

I hope it all goes well for you whatever my have occurred and I hope it also helps anyone else who may read this after.

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"Forced compliance is a festering evil." JMH
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Hello, I know it's so easy for people to say what to do. But when is you walking in those shoes is hard to see the light when we are being oppressed by others. I and so many others have walked this road. It's lonely and scary, but only if you allow it. I hope you realize just how Special you are!  No one has the right to bully you that way, Daddy or not!  Family is important!  An abuser tend to separate the victim from those who will rally and protect said victim. 

 

Good luck. I know how hard your journey will be, but it is doable and your worth it. Ok! 

 

Lots of luvs

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm just picturing you with your little ears on, makes me feelike crying you poor little thing. I true daddy who loves his little would never be like this to his little...never!

I hope you leave him and find a daddy who takes care of you ❤️

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