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First daddy used me...


misslittlelillie11
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I feel like hell. I'm a new little and got my first Daddy online only...he only cared about sex. He didn't care to get to know me or anything. I've had assaults before and I honestly just feel so violated and used again. I'm scared to try to get a new daddy :(
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Hi, misslittlelillie11,

 

I’m brand new to being a Mommy.

 

I want to apologize on behalf of the actions of your former Dom and let you know that your feelings are valid.

 

Your concern about trusting someone else to be your CG is extremely appropriate for your situation.

 

Keep in mind that your experience is solely for your happiness and no one else; your decision to share it with someone has to be all within your comfort zone.

 

You will definitely find that someone to share your little space with, that will appreciate you and respect your boundaries.

 

With bunny twitches and respect,

 

MommyBunny

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I've been in a similar situation before, my first daddy used me the same way and so did my second daddy. Take some time to heal from these experiences, if you want another daddy set firm boundaries with them and if they don't listen (if you're in person) punch them in the bouncy balls. If it's online, mute them or block them to give yourself some space from them. Not all daddy's are bad, but no all daddy's are good. 

Your feelings are completely valid, and you will find a daddy who will not hurt you <3

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I am so so sorry I have had that happen to me as well unfortunately, it went on for a while before I realized it. All I can say is that not all CGs are like that and you will find one that is your forever CG. Hang in there, and feel free to reach out if you want someone to talk to!

 

FaerieGirl‍♀

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Oh I’m so sorry you had to experience dat! It seems lots of us have been used and twicked by some fake CGs but once you have some time to heal and feel better then hopefully you’ll wanna twy again! I’ve had wonderful daddies along wif da awful ones. They do exist out there.

 

Sending good thoughts and hopefullness for you!

 

*Star*

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As a Daddy, that was with my last Little for five years,  I am so sorry that this has happened to you & the others who have experienced the same.  Unfortunately the are many fake Daddies out there & as with all forms of domination/submission, some simply use it as an excuse to abuse.  

 

Please don't think that we are all the same.  Being a Daddy, whether online or face to face, is a big commitment & should never be taken lightly.  Please don't let it put you off achieving your dream.

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While I am sorry that this happened to you, I hope you learn from this. Trust needs to be EARNED before going into any kind of relationship. You shouldn't turn a blind eye to what should've been obvious red flags, just because you desperately want a daddy.

 

You posted a personal add where you look for a daddy less than a week ago, meaning that in this short time frame you found a random guy online and got very intimate with him. That's just.... incomprehensible to me. Don't rush into things.

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I am sorry this happened to you! People can really suck sometimes, but not everyone is like that. Make sure to give yourself time to heal and give yourself some self-care in the process.

 

My best advice is to take your time with future partners. The more time you give it the more you have an opportunity to see who a person really is and what their intentions are towards you. When you ask someone for patience and understanding someone with good intentions will respect that and still try to develop a relationship with you at your pace. If someone has ill intentions they tend to get frustrated and pushy and will show you their true nature, and that's when you know to cut ties and avoid this kind of a mess again. People who are looking to use others don't have patience and will consider it a waste of their time to wait on you and would rather work on trying to prey on someone else. Once you start to see it these types tend to become really predictable! Some users are more determined and sinister than that and so this isn't a full proof way to avoid it but it helps a lot.

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Guest Stride

I am sorry this happened to you! People can really suck sometimes, but not everyone is like that. Make sure to give yourself time to heal and give yourself some self-care in the process.

 

My best advice is to take your time with future partners. The more time you give it the more you have an opportunity to see who a person really is and what their intentions are towards you. When you ask someone for patience and understanding someone with good intentions will respect that and still try to develop a relationship with you at your pace. If someone has ill intentions they tend to get frustrated and pushy and will show you their true nature, and that's when you know to cut ties and avoid this kind of a mess again. People who are looking to use others don't have patience and will consider it a waste of their time to wait on you and would rather work on trying to prey on someone else. Once you start to see it these types tend to become really predictable! Some users are more determined and sinister than that and so this isn't a full proof way to avoid it but it helps a lot.

 

 

Nicely Put

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While I am sorry that this happened to you, I hope you learn from this. Trust needs to be EARNED before going into any kind of relationship. You shouldn't turn a blind eye to what should've been obvious red flags, just because you desperately want a daddy.

 

You posted a personal add where you look for a daddy less than a week ago, meaning that in this short time frame you found a random guy online and got very intimate with him. That's just.... incomprehensible to me. Don't rush into things.

While I get the point trying to be made, I think you should try again without placing the blame on the victim. Maybe they could have done things differently in this case and been safer but that doesn’t mean it is their fault or they deserved what happened either. Please don’t listen to this guy misslittlelillie11

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Sending all kinds of support and friendly love.. I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from as someone whose had the same things happen multiple times..there's nothing that can be said to make you feel better..but I really ask that you take time to try and heal..because it can REALLY FLUFF US UP BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF AND MISHANDLED/ASSAULTED especially by someone we trusted..

I truly wish you the best on your journey and hope you find someone who truly cares for and treats you well.

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While I am sorry that this happened to you, I hope you learn from this. Trust needs to be EARNED before going into any kind of relationship. You shouldn't turn a blind eye to what should've been obvious red flags, just because you desperately want a daddy.

 

You posted a personal add where you look for a daddy less than a week ago, meaning that in this short time frame you found a random guy online and got very intimate with him. That's just.... incomprehensible to me. Don't rush into things.

 

 

 

 

One of the essential qualities of a Daddy is to know when a Little needs a cuddle & not a lecture.  This is supposed to be a safe space for Littles.

 

Yes people should take their time, we all know that. But feelings, emotions, desires can take over & they shouldn't be taken advantage of.  "Love is blind" & it can be blind to red flags.

Edited by TheListener
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I'm so sorry, nobody deserves for that to happen to them! In my opinion someone like that doesn't deserve the title of 'Daddy'.

I have an idea that might be really helpful for you and others. Definitely alter it to how it suits you. You can do this for other purposes too, but for this purpose, just focus on what you want & believe you deserve in a relationship with a potential Daddy. It's also a handy practice for learning to set boundaries, not only with romantic relationships, but even general daily interactions.

Take a look at some values & beliefs lists, you can find all sorts online. If some of the words don't quite feel right you can even use a thesaurus to find similar words that mean more to you. :] Think about the words listed, which ones stand out as the most important to you? Trust? Dependability? Kindness? Pick the top 5 or 6 most important ones that speak to you the most and jot them down, and then for each word make a mind map (or just a bullet point list) about what they might look like with a potential Daddy. 

Ex:
Kindness:
- Kind to strangers, waiters, etc.
- Has good manners.
- Ties my shoe laces when I am little and frazzled.

Dependability:
- Shows up on time.
- Texts/calls when they are going to be late.

You can have as little or as much detail as you want, and you can always add more to it later. It's a good starting point to figure out what is really important to you in that kind of relationship. And it's a good visual reminder (if you jot it down somewhere) if you feel that maybe a new partner/daddy is not quite right, you can go back to your list and see if it aligns, if changes need to be made, etc. Maybe for each person you meet this list is a bit different, and that's okay too!

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I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. Take your time healing, I hope your brave again in the future to try again to find your daddy. 

 

Here's something to read when you're able to its about "Getting Start in a CGL Relationship" a very nice taken Daddy started this. https://www.littlespaceonline.com/viewtopic.php?f=169&t=29137&p=58062#p58062

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  • 4 weeks later...

like everyone else said take your time to get to know the next one , tell him you don't want to talk  about sex till you know him better.get to reall know  him.sorry this happend to you but it can be a leanting experience

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Oh my, this is so sad. I am just so sorry this happened to you. I’m so sorry, you did not deserve this and he is a mean and bad daddy.  I just hope so much you get a nice daddy soon. 

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So, so sorry this happened to you. I've had it happen as well and it's not fun. It took me a long time to find the right CG but I consider myself lucky to have found him. Like everyone else said, take your time and you'll find a good daddy soon!

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