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Breaking trust.


Asphalt_ruffneck420
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I need some advice from some people that are much more experienced in a dom/sub relationship.

 

The issue is I keep breaking my little trust but I don’t ever do it on purpose. What happens is she opens up to me about things and tells me her feelings which is very hard for her to do. So when she does it means so much to me but som how I always break her trust and make her feel like I don’t care or that I don’t love her. I have been with my little for a very long time we have actually been separated for over a year now she even moved out and left to another city. But she came home and finally opened up about who she truly is and wanting to live this type of lifestyle and I truly am in to this type of relationship but I keep fucking thing up to the point I don’t believe my little wants to be with me anymore.

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Haiii, I'm sorry but I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand your not her therapist you shouldn't have to solve her issues. But on the other hand you as her partner should bebe supportive. Be here shoulder, help her feel safe to cry or be silly when she needs. Watch out for her, don't let her run herself down or put herself down. Be here biggest cheerleader and hold her accountable for when she breaks the rules. But first y'all need to see if your both in it, to want to be in the relationship. Then compromises and boundaries need to be made. At least this is what had worked in my relationship with my Daddy. We have our own problems and we needed code words to indicate when we are starting to shut each other down. So we pause and take a deep breath and try again. Good luck and best wishes! 

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Thank you for you insight… I feel like I am her biggest cheerleader and her biggest fan I always do my best to support her and encourage her to do everything she wants we’ve been together for a very long time and I think the problem is actually my insecurities about things because this type of relationship is something she has actually hidden and the way she explained it was she trapped her self in a box because she was afraid and now that that box is opened and she feels free I am 100% open to trying this and living this kind of lifestyle and relationship because I actually enjoy it. I believe the problem is when she does open up and tell me her feelings and tells me what she needs from me I always seem to fall short of what she needs and I don’t know why and it makes her feel like I don’t care that I don’t love her that she’s not important And that’s the farthest thing from the truth because she is by far the most important person in my world and my life I don’t want her her anymore
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Ok only cow. Wow okay so my Daddy is so not into the lifestyle. It's just not him. Now he does protector me and makes me feelfeel safe now. But I to hid from him. I was taken advantage of before so instead of allowing myself to be hurt again, I hid. But he was a little, well a lot mad I hid myself. I was an angry angry meany while I hid. I couldn't be myself, so I thought. Now I call him My Daddy. He doesn't mind atat all, his way of supporting me. But my Daddy also doesn't let anyone tease me when I need to be silly. Even though he is not into this kinda lifestyle he is always there when I need truly need him. Good luck to both of you. My luvs

 

Thank you for you insight… I feel like I am her biggest cheerleader and her biggest fan I always do my best to support her and encourage her to do everything she wants we’ve been together for a very long time and I think the problem is actually my insecurities about things because this type of relationship is something she has actually hidden and the way she explained it was she trapped her self in a box because she was afraid and now that that box is opened and she feels free I am 100% open to trying this and living this kind of lifestyle and relationship because I actually enjoy it. I believe the problem is when she does open up and tell me her feelings and tells me what she needs from me I always seem to fall short of what she needs and I don’t know why and it makes her feel like I don’t care that I don’t love her that she’s not important And that’s the farthest thing from the truth because she is by far the most important person in my world and my life I don’t want her her anymore

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Thank you for your kind words and I hope in the long run we can make it work but if not I am ready to accept my failures and I will continue to always support her and encourage her to be who she is no matter where life takes us. I will always love her with all my heart I truly believe she is my soulmate.
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Have you considered couples therapy with a kink friendly therapist? I don't really know what advice to give because there isn't enough context. I can't tell if you truly are falling short and missing something here or if she's just asking for way too much and being unreasonable. It could go either way or be a little bit of both. If you're falling short of what she wants does she explain it, or does she just tell you that you've done wrong and hurt her feelings and doesn't elaborate? If she refuses to elaborate then she's part of the problem and being her own worst enemy. Can't really satisfy a person who refuses to communicate their issue and just expects their partner to be a mind reader. Either way, i wish you the best and I hope you can figure out how to make it work out with her because it seems like you really do care about her a lot and she sounds like she's oblivious to you trying. Even if you don't meet her all the way to what she wants, she should do a better job of recognizing when you're trying and acknowledge it rather than just putting you down for not doing good enough and undermining your feelings for her.

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At one point in time it was that way she did expect me to be a mind reader and to just know what she needed but that was before she left and moved she has gotten a lot better with communicating what she needs and I had gotten a lot better about listening and giving what she needed but the other day she told me what she needed and for some reason my own stupid insecurities bubbled out and took over things and I did fall short of what she needed from me and it sux to admit that we have talked a lot and she knows it wasn’t done on purpose but through all the talking we both finally agreed that this isn’t the right time for us… I have a lot of trauma that’s been buried deep and I need to heal and we are stepping away from our intimate relationship so I can heal and learn to be the man she deserves.
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You may need to have a frank conversation. It sounds like she is breaking up with you but doesn’t want to have the difficult conversation. But it also seems like she doesn’t really know what she wants, and that’s not fair to either of you.
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