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How do I be a good DD


Asphalt_ruffneck420
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Hello, fellow Don’s or daddy’s and yellow to the littles. I just recently went through a lot with my little. I am new to this dynamic in a relationship and I really enjoy it but I know very little. Can some more experienced people give me tips and pointers on how to be in this type of relationship. I know being a dom you have to listen and care for your little very much she relies on your trust to care for her in any way possible but I am failing at that. I just want to be the DD she deserves. It’s hard for me because I have broken her trust in the past and taken away her safety and security. Any ideas how to get it back and Shia her I see what I did wrong and that I want to fix it
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First, she may never trust you again and there might not be anything you can do about it. If she decides to remain in your life, you need to be humble and give her the care she deserves without any pressure from you. You need to be unselfish with your care. As far as being a better daddy, you need to really listen and understand your little. You need to respect what she is feeling without judgement. You need to remember that whatever she is feeling those feelings are real. The best advice i can give you is to try to understand her struggles to point that you can actually feel her struggles as if they are your own struggles. I hope this is a good start. You need to earn back her trust by your actions not your words. Even then she may never trust you again and you need to realize that from the start.

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I do completely understand all of what your saying. Especially the part abut earning her trust back. I have started taking the correct actions, but she is very hesitant which is ok and I understand why I don’t blame her for the way she feels. For the first time a few days ago I was finally able to see her struggles and I could actually feel them. It was humbling and I opened my eyes wider than they ever have been I just hope it’s not to late. I have spent 1/3 of my life with this woman. Either way I have told her I will respect any decision she makes. I just want her to be happy and apart of my life
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All you can do is work at re-winning her trust back. Maybe retry dating her agains? And have a serious talk with her about how before "I couldn't see your struggles and I blame myself, for not trying to understand them better. I believe now I understand them, can I talk about my understandings of thems?" Because while you think you may understand them, you may not fully comprehend them. I would ask, her more about it. Talking at this point is the most important thing you can dos. If you live together offer to move out if it would make her more comfortable and ask her if she'll go to counseling with you.  Maybe have her read the posts of "Getting Started in a CGL Relationship" thats on littlespaceonline. 

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I'm going to take this from a different angle and be honest about things. I've taken time to read all your other posts and have a few observations along with some advice. Pardon me if it comes out a bit harsh.

You've said "The issue is I keep breaking my little trust but I don’t ever do it on purpose"  and you also stated above "I have broken her trust in the past and taken away her safety and security" which is a bold thing to happen and not something lightly done. One time is a mistake. Multiple times is a pattern. So as I don't know what you did to accomplish that on more than one occasion and you also hinted to possibly having severe insecurities, I've come to the conclusion that there is more of an underlying issue that you fail to grasp within yourself. She's being very hesitant for a reason.

I don't know what "correct actions" you have started taking are but I think the best course if for you to take a step back from her and give her space while also seeking out some counseling or therapy for yourself. You seem to be continuing to pursue her without you both having time to heal, analyze, and focus on yourselves. She may never give you that trust back that you broke. You have to let her figure things out for herself. I know it hurts but I agree with a lot of what Alaskan Daddy said. Part of being a Daddy Dom is being selfless but also understanding your own faults to make things better. You can't do that for your little if your issues are that severe. It becomes unhealthy for you both.

I've seen many people give you great advice in your previous posts. Some of it is no longer valid as your little has left. Get some help and advice from a professional. Show your little that you are bettering yourself as a whole. I can't make promises that she'll take you back or return to you. However you will be better and ready for her or whoever comes into your life before this cycle repeats.

I am in no way here to put you down. This is my advice from the info and lack of info provided. I wish you the best.

Also in doing this, remember that she owes you nothing. Whether she takes you back or not, expect nothing.

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