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Venting/Hurt feelings. Hi I’m new here


Underthewillows
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Hey, I’m Jessie.

I don’t really age regress, but im a little and i have a daddy IRL.

 

I just texted a NSFW picture to my daddy

And he replied with something along the lines of a snappy harsh “I’m busy, I don’t want that right now”

I immediately burst into tears

Which isn’t usually a thing I do…

Like I cry sometimes but not in a split moment.

I don’t know. My feelings are hurt and I wish I hadn’t sent him the photo because now I feel stupid and needy.

 

Does this kind of thing ever happen to you?

How do you cope/comfort yourself?

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Unless previously discussed (ex: 'Please don't text me ____ during work hours'), his response and rude and unnecessary. 

It's okay if you cried, even if it's not normal for you. It can be hard when we are suddenly rejected, and harshly, from someone who we are care and especially when it has to do with sending pictures or things that make us vulnerable.

I hope you two are able to sit down and talk about it, despite him possibly being busy or whatever, that is a shitty response from his end, and he should take that into consideration. If he had sent you a picture and you responded the way he did, I'm sure he wouldn't have taken it well either.

I am not very good at coping, I have the very black & white thinking "Well if you don't want this picture I will never send you one again" lol, which isn't the best way to deal with things. But something that fully distracts you for a while might help until these feelings lessen in intensity. A movie, game, something you can fully throw yourself into for a while. It may also (once you have calmed down a bit) help to write down how this has made you feel so it can be a talking point with your daddy later.

Edited by MsWiggles
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As MsWiggles said, if he has not set that boundary before then he overreacted for sure... Yikes! He could've handled that way better without coming across as rude or completely dismissing it. Sometimes people take that for granted but one has to be vulnerable to send something like that in the first place and involves a sense of trust so I can see why your feelings are hurt. It wouldn't have taken him much more time to say something like, "Wow you look amazing, thank you! We'll talk more about this later when I'm off work" or something to that effect.

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I'll be honest, if my Daddy ever disrespected me like that it would be one huge fight and possibly the end of the relationship. It is just so disrespectful and a dismissal of a foundation trust and vulnerability that makes up a relationship.
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Remember that your feelings matter, and you can't help how you feel at times. I feel you should talk to your daddy about how his words made you feel. How he reacts when you tell him how his words made you feel will tell you a lot if he is the right daddy for you. I hope things turn out for the best

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Don't disregard your feelings. Don't be ashamed that your first reaction was to cry. You're not stupid. I'm a people pleaser and rejections are hard to handle. :,( Texting makes it even harder because so much can be missing from the conversation such as tone of voice, body language, and all those cues we pick up to read people. Yeah, his response could have been better for sure. This makes for an opportunity to sit down with each other and have a talk to clear up miscommunication. Should there be boundaries set that within specific hours of the day NSFW photos wait because he is at work? Did he know that such a curt response can be received so poorly? I hope you are able to clear this up with each other. What matters is intentions.

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I think you should  not be ashamed for crying or being hurt. That said if it was not safe for work, and you sent it to him at work, I can see him being snappy because I would be snappy if my Pappa sent me something not safe for work while I was at my job. This community is harshly judged and you never know who is over someones shoulder at work. If this is one little snafu and he is generally kind and loving, it might be a bit of the jarring feeling of maybe getting caught and fired. I have worked tech jobs where there are cameras everywhere :(. I dunno, just another look at the issue. Hope the two of you grow, learn and love together :0).

 

As for coping, (because there are times I feel hurt by my Papa), I cope by talking to him about it. He may understand or not but it helps. I also self soothe with textured toys and pacifiers. But really I cope by knowing we are all flawed creatures and things happen.

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Lovely day, As all the wise people before me said, this isn't your fault. If both of you have clear rules, expectations and open lines of communications set in place...then no, it is not your fault. That said, mistakes happen and if this is an honesty one on his part then you decide if you can let it go.You know him better than all of us so only you can make that decision.

I will state this from personal experience. NEVER ...I repeat...NEVER  do the following while in little/middle spaces:

- Set Rules for the relationship/scene/dynamic

- Set expectations for the same

- Make relationship based decisions

- This to me is a big one....fall in love while in space! When you return to "top" space you may regret your decisions.

 

 Just my two cents and personal experience. Those people who posted before me know what they are taking about and genuinely seem to care. I would listen to them. :)

 

tangible~

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Remember that your feelings matter, and you can't help how you feel at times. I feel you should talk to your daddy about how his words made you feel. How he reacts when you tell him how his words made you feel will tell you a lot if he is the right daddy for you. I hope things turn out for the best

 

Couldn't have said it better... 

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I am new here but not new to DDLG, what he said was very upsetting to you i am sure. but remember he may of been really busy with work and not thinking clearly. Busy daddies do that sometimes. Try and talk to him about how it made you feel after he gets home. BE sure to look at all sides of the story. Its hard to not look through rose color glasses sometimes but we have to remember daddies are people too. he might of been in a meeting or something and couldn't appreciate your picture at that moment . Again not taking sides here but just mentioning from personal experience, i had a daddy who worked full time from mon-Friday and sometimes Saturday from 10am-11pm at a jewelry store. and i often got that exact response. while he isnt my daddy anymore i just wanna say, ive been there, it sucks. but dont define him by one single text. study his overall behavior with you and then make a choice on where to go from there.

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it does seem rude ,but yes talk to him about how you feel and that you not want to be taked to like that.he could have been really busy .but if you talk to him and still happens then you hae a issue

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Underthewillows, I am so so so sorry that this happened to you. *cuddle* I can tell it hurt your feelings lots and I understand, I get my feelings hurt too sometimes. I wish he did not say that to you, especially after you did something special for him that made you feel vulnerable. I think that was unkind that he did that. I really hope that you are feeling better today, and I really hope your feelings aren’t hurt or sad anymore. 💕💕💕💕💕

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On 7/4/2022 at 5:32 AM, LittleLavenderGirl said:

Underthewillows, I am so so so sorry that this happened to you. *cuddle* I can tell it hurt your feelings lots and I understand, I get my feelings hurt too sometimes. I wish he did not say that to you, especially after you did something special for him that made you feel vulnerable. I think that was unkind that he did that. I really hope that you are feeling better today, and I really hope your feelings aren’t hurt or sad anymore. 💕💕💕💕💕

I second this 

Just adding that a Daddy Dom should be supportive, understanding, patient and give guidance. 
If he doesn't want you to message him in that way during certain times of the day, then it's his job to teach you in a safe, understanding, patient and supportive way. 
If he just gets annoyed with you for not behaving differently already, then he's missing the point of being a DaddyDom. 

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On 7/6/2022 at 11:31 PM, Ticklechambers said:

I second this 

Just adding that a Daddy Dom should be supportive, understanding, patient and give guidance. 
If he doesn't want you to message him in that way during certain times of the day, then it's his job to teach you in a safe, understanding, patient and supportive way. 
If he just gets annoyed with you for not behaving differently already, then he's missing the point of being a DaddyDom. 

Yes, i agree. With lotsa reassurance that the problem was not the picture - the picture was so so so nice and he loved it very much!!! But that it was only the TIME that it was sent - he may have been worried someone else would see - and to ask Underthewillows to please send another beautiful pic at “x” time, and he can’t wait to see it. 

ETA - and he should cuddle his little Underthewillows and thank her for thinking of him, even though it wasn’t the proper time. 

Edited by LittleLavenderGirl
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On 6/15/2022 at 1:02 PM, Underthewillows said:

Hey, I’m Jessie.

I don’t really age regress, but im a little and i have a daddy IRL.

 

I just texted a NSFW picture to my daddy

And he replied with something along the lines of a snappy harsh “I’m busy, I don’t want that right now”

I immediately burst into tears

Which isn’t usually a thing I do…

Like I cry sometimes but not in a split moment.

I don’t know. My feelings are hurt and I wish I hadn’t sent him the photo because now I feel stupid and needy.

 

Does this kind of thing ever happen to you?

How do you cope/comfort yourself?

He's probably an idiot

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