Purpose in life.

[DaddysMonkey]

-TW ? Introspective but gloomy talk about life-
 

….. Hi. *waves* 

If you haven’t noticed by now , I think. Like , an abnormal and borderline unhealthy amount. But hey , it makes for some deep thought and good conversations amiright ? 🤗 *jazz hands* 

 

So basically I don’t know what my purpose in life is yet.. and I’m unsure that life has much of a point at all. I’ve lived in an existential crisis for as long as I can remember. But I know there’s like…. some purpose out there to be had or discovered. It just really gets to me sometimes that I don’t know what it is and I feel like a side character rather than the main character of my own life. As always , I feel like I’m in this weird grey area of wanting to find my purpose but I, so busy helping everyone else find theirs that I’m just …. Stagnant in my progress as a human being. Yes yes yes , I have issues that make me self isolate already but when I start really stewing on my purpose in life I tend to recluse away into my dusty old brain and need time to reenergize before humaning again. 

 Not all people are like me though , (way to state the obvious Monkey 🙄) What I mean by that  is some people have a hard time finding their purpose and decide that their is no purpose at all. The hit a hard spot in life , and lose a sense of purpose and just… give up. They believe there really isn’t much of a reason to try , to put forth real effort in life and improve themselves or the world around them. Some people end up clinically depressed (could be before or after and/or these feelings a symptoms of depression but for sake of discussion this is the cause) so much so that they cannot function in daily life or hold a job. They lose touch with reality it seems like and just let life pass them by. 
 
There are another bunch of people as well , who are blatantly opposing to above stated outlook. The other bunch of people tend to be much more positive , balls to the wall of you will. If life has no purpose , why not make my own life the main event ? To hell with self loathing and embarrassment , if this is the only life we get and it’s all just a big joke anyways …. Why not follow my dreams and try to be a millionaire ? Especially if we’re all just going to die anyways ! Even if something bad or unlucky happens to them , their attitude is more often than not much more positive and even humorous. Go for that dream job , go on that vacation , go to the casino and spend 100$ ! Fuck it type of people , the ones that walk right up to strangers and start networking and making friends. 
 

As always , there are kind of grey area people like myself. I touched on it briefly , the whole side character thing. I find myself being really upset about not knowing my purpose , why have I gone through everything I have to just not know what to do with myself at this point ?  I still get up and grab the day by the balls , try my hardest at everything I do , it’s just… most things aren’t really for me. Because I don’t know my purpose , (among numerous other factors) I find myself leading other people to their purpose or supporting them through it. 
 

Do you relate to either ways of thinking about life’s purpose / your own  ? 

What do you feel is the purpose of life , and do you know your purpose in life yet ? 

Do you enjoy the ride of finding out your purpose  , or does it feel like a long drawn out mean joke on you ? 

Does either of these views hold more value than the other to you , and why ? 

Thanks for listening , and if you give feedback or answer my lame questions .. thanks ahead of time. I told myself I wasn’t going to just go hide in the bushes and lurk mode on everyone since I’ve been trying to stay present in a community that I feel I belong and to people who’ve been kind to me , so I’m glad I took the time to write another topic for people to throw some thoughts in. 

[baby_k]

If you looked your life from different perspective, you might say that your purpose is to help others and be meaningful for them. Not bad purpose imo IF you get joy from it.

I think purpose changes over time for everyone. Maybe you grow, maybe you get the things you desired and worked for and need new goals.

Meaning of life an purpose of life are pretty much the same to me ( even this may change when I start to think hti topic now ). As a child, I thought that meaning of life was to be happy. As I got older, my thought shifted to "happy and useful". Then to learn, develop and grow. Now I'm more about development and harmony. As those are rather..... vague, one can get to them in many various ways.

I have always disliked a lot about regret, and also loved the idea of experiencing as much as possible. So, to have full life -which doesn't mean just the nice positive things. You need hard experiences to see your measure ( gotta love stoic views ❤️ ), and to understand things better.

Long story short: my purpose is to live ( decently ). Whatever it means to me on that moment. It is vague but gives freedom and helps me not to overfocus on having some random specific purpose/goal as I'm a full person without any specific obsessions == I can be and do a lot of things without fixation. Universum probably doesn't care much about me but I do. For me I'm the most important and most interesting person ever, so I like to enjoy it to the fullest.

( Sidenote: even this all sounds really selfcentered, which by the way is totally okay and how it should be, doesnt still mean I forget others as they are a value to me and brings me meaning to help others for example -> therefore I do it ).

 

[Andriel_Isilien]

7 hours ago, DaddysMonkey said:

I’ve lived in an existential crisis for as long as I can remember. But I know there’s like…. some purpose out there to be had or discovered. It just really gets to me sometimes that I don’t know what it is and I feel like a side character rather than the main character of my own life. As always , I feel like I’m in this weird grey area of wanting to find my purpose but I, so busy helping everyone else find theirs that I’m just …. Stagnant in my progress as a human being.

Spoken like a true INFJ right there 😄 That darn Ni and Ti!! I feel like I was made to understand but not to be understood, even with myself 😅 I enjoy helping others with their questions and finding their purpose because that Fe kicks in which gives me a new perspective. INFJs are known to get caught up in the Ni-Ti loop so talking to people is so good for us.

 

I went through an identity and existential crisis from my last relationship and it's no fun trip. But I was given opportunities to rise to the occasion and ask myself what "do I want?" out of life. For the past 3 decades I have felt immense pressure to meet the expectations of others because of religion and to maintain the family name. I didn't ask to be a part of all this, but these are the cards I have been dealt. Now I must play them how I see fit and work with the hand I got. There's a video game character I love who went through this redemption arc that I relate to. He struggled with survivor's guilt and was trapped in thinking his purpose in life was to avenge his fallen loved ones that died for him. I feel the same too with my ancestors who have gone through so much on behalf of their posterity. If I don't live up to that legacy, I fear I will be letting them down and their sacrifices. Then, this main character at the climax of the game was told, "All those people didn't die for you. They gave their lives doing what they believe in. Your life is your own to live how you choose and for what you believe is right." So, I have been applying that to myself. The dead shouldn't have a hold my happiness (neither should the living). I am choosing to seek my own happiness and do as little harm as I can to not just people but the earth. I want that to be my purpose for now until something else comes along. Enough of the people pleasing. It's about the journey, not the destination because we don't know what happens after we die. People can speculate all they want but the fact of the matter is, life is happening here and now. We can choose to be happy now rather than obsessing on "what happens next" when we can't really control the future.

 

I saw the quote, "Don't take life too seriously. No one makes it out alive anyway."

[Little kaiya]

My purpose in life is simple, live authentically and leave society as more inclusive than the way I found it.

[Vampiress]

I am definitely all over the place with this specific topic. I have been through a lot of traumatic stuff and have no religious beliefs to speak of, as a result from PTSD, depression, and anxiety I can find myself at times in the thought process that everything is meaningless and is never going to matter in the grand scheme of the universe. I dig myself out of these holes, but they really suck when I get stuck in them. I feel like the way I've been used most of my life (mostly by relatives) that I feel like my only reason for existence was to give and help others without doing much for myself. Even my own family has admitted that they have used me to their own ends and have held me back from living my own life a lot. I have moved hours and many miles away from all of them to get away from this and live my own life, but I can't help to feel the loss somedays of everything I missed out on because I was constantly stuck in giving every part of myself with not much else in return.

As an INFP I definitely like to day dream and have all of these lofty ideals and can really get my head in the clouds, but life has also taught me to be more realistic and logical about things as much as I can, but sometimes this turns to cynicism and pessimism. I think I am just constantly in "survival" mode, so despite wanting to just believe the best in everything there is always this nagging thought in the back of my mind that I have to prepare for the absolute worst so I don't get blindsided.

When I was younger I was a bit more positive about things and felt like that the meaning to life is what we make it and that it could literally be anything we chose. I guess that is still true today, however sometimes the motivation is lacking. My main purpose these days is my dog, he is my driving force to get through each day and do my best. I think he is as good a reason for living as any, but I wish I had a lot more fulfillment in my life and I am trying to work on that.

[LeftyGuitar]

This is an interesting topic. In high school I remember reading the book "The Stranger" a story about a man who feels there is no point to look for a purpose in life. He lives as an existential, basiclly. He lives to live. His wants and needs come first before anything else. To make things short, I guess the moral of the story, is that we as individuals give our own lives a purpose in life. We live to find our point in life. Some of may just coast through life, while others are always trying to achieve their goals, and make a lot of progress in life. According to some online test I took, it said I was INFJ, I know an I'm introvert, but not sure if I'm an IFNJ. As someone who prefers his own company, I like to do things my own and work on things that interest me. I think as long we lives our lives the way we want to without hurting people, we should be ok. Yes I believe in the libertarian philosophy, not to get too political though.

 

I too feel like I have a extenisal crisis at times. It can be hard to find the meaning in life or our purpose in life. I feel like I should say more, but my brain is all over the place right now. Just wanted to put my two cents in.

[Sloth Fairy]

Lots of food for thought. 

I've had different times in my life where I've asked the same question. I have gotten to a place where I felt like I  had "arrived " only to have things change up and had to ask the question again. 

Once in my 20s I  had someone older  tell me that they had more questions then answers as they got older. At the time and didn't like hearing that. I liked having everything categorized and in a neat box with all the answers. 

My life is always evolving . I'm not the same person I was in my twenties. So I don't have the same purpose. At this point my  purpose is to be genuine and honest with myself and others. Try to learn different perspectives. Find joy in what I can. Try to take the most compassionate route.  And keep learning. 

Also to not be a douche canoe . Lol sorry. I just had a conversation with a friend about getting t-shirts that said that.  We have a warped sense of humor.