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Let's discuss- Healthy Caregiving!


Guest Bear
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I don't care whether you're a Mommy or a Daddy- we all could use some fresh perspective on how we deal with our littles / subs / pets.

I think it's time we have a nice, approachable thread for us to openly have a healthy discussion about thing that are confusing us or maybe methods you found to be effective in your relationship.



After all, our number one priorty is taking care of our significant-other's well being and happiness. 

It is in my beliefs that we should be open to other people's views and advice. 
While we might be the adult in charge, we shouldn't think we know everything and understand we all still have alot to learn.



So, with that  note- discuss! Share your wisdom or learn a valuable lesson!
 

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Guest TNDaddy

I see so many people rules around the net for their littles, and fail to see one of the biggest to me. Rules to make sure a little is mentally and physically healthy. My top rules are to ensure my little is physically and mentally healthy. To ensure they remain safe in my care as well as feel my love. Rules I believe are one way a CG can show their little that she/he is the most important thing to them.

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I see so many people rules around the net for their littles, and fail to see one of the biggest to me. Rules to make sure a little is mentally and physically healthy. My top rules are to ensure my little is physically and mentally healthy. To ensure they remain safe in my care as well as feel my love. Rules I believe are one way a CG can show their little that she/he is the most important thing to them.

What would those rules be...  Because most of the good, well written rule lists I've read always include things like: healthy diet, sleep, no self harm, no belittling (I always find this word funny in the context) yourself, hygiene, work/school stuff and so on. Rarely have I seen rule lists that only include the very superficial things like "can't masturbate without permission" I suppose it speaks volumes about the people that've written them and what part of their lives DDlg is supposed to play. ^.^ 

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Agreed. 

I think it's in my top 5 to:

Do Homework / Schoolwork.
Have a fixed, healthy meal- schedule.
Stay hydrated- water bottle should be with you at all times. Minimum 1.5 liters- 2 liters+ gets you a treat!
Fixed, fair bed time. If the little was well behaved, you can also treat her with an extra, lets say, hour to her bedtime.
Hygiene- Brush your teeth first thing after waking up and before going to bed! Flossing, again, can earn you treats :)


It's all pretty simple, but you end up with a pretty rewarding, caring system that is overall just good for your sub's health!

Plus, I find that texting her throughout the day and checking up if she's been drinking her water / eating properly is a good way to express love, give attention and just show you care. 
It's the little things(pun intended), you know?

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I am still learning what it's like to be a daddy. It's been something I've always had inside me - and something I've always wanted sustained. I took on the caring of an actual young girl (my ex wife's) when her father flew the coop and ended up in prison. I've always been good friends with my ex, and when the little tyke asked if I was her daddy when she was about three, I asked her if she wanted me to be, and the rest, as they say, is history.

 

She is eleven now, and is growing into her own self. It's great to see, even though there's all the trials and tribulations of being a pre-teen. But I have missed those early days when she was wrapped around my finger, and me around hers. I find that I miss that, and it makes sense to me to be a daddy to an lg.

 

I like to think I'm a "natural" at it, if there's ever such a word for these things. I love deeply, give generously, and always guide. I've had the experience of raising an awesome real daughter to be able to look to. However, I am still quite nervous about taking on a little. It's a huge undertaking. That's why I am both thrilled and nervous about this new relationship that I've gotten into. After some initial back and forth about what we are looking for, something blossomed into a deep connection that seemed to happen overnight.

 

So I find myself perusing all the information I can find about what it means to be a true DD to an lg. I want to be there for her, be what she needs. The feeling of being someone's rock is such a rush of emotion, I can't even hope to describe it. Everything she tells me endears me to her more. There's been nothing she's revealed to me that puts me off.

 

I have had so little experience with littles that I'm not sure if she needs more or less care. From what I read, each situation, each little, is different, and each daddy is different too. So it's important to look at the rules I set out for my little princess kitten as something special for her, not something to be borrowed from someone else. I use the rules to help give her structure and promote her well-being, and they are keyed to her. I think they are pretty similar to what most daddies use as a base, but there's always little changes as to what is the most important in keeping the little safe and protected.

 

Sorry for rambling. It's not easy being alone in this and I'm glad of this community. I once was a part of one many, many years ago. It was a very nice group, and it looks the same as this one.

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Welcome, man, sounds like your heart is in the right place to me. 

It's all about open communication and respect. 
In my opinion, it takes alot of emotional maturity and intelligence to understand how to be a good, constructive caregiver. 


Honestly, the most important thing that should be stressed out in my opinion is balance- dont let her become too dependant.
If the little isnt able to take care of herself, getting into this relationship can actually hold her back and put a hold on her progression and growth as a person. 
My point is- you dont want her to find herself being unable to get through life by herself if you two might seperate. 

Other than that- have fun with it. Be responsible, be affectionist, be caring. Good luck!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Well im from the far end of this s/m so when my partner asked about me being her daddy about an hour ago i told her ill give her an answer by friday so i have time to do my homework on being a daddy. Is it ok not to be called daddy j myself have issues with that one word
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Hello! Yeah of course it's fine not to be called Daddy, I have slight problems with that word so i'm Teddy. Sir was too formal for us so I became Teddy. This kind of thing only works as long as you both remain comfortable and if being called Daddy stops you being comfortable then be called something else :)

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Sounds perfect, man. I really admire you're so open and responsible about your partner's proposition.

Going and educating yourself it is very important, so you're allready bring alot of maturity and open-mindness to the relationship!
If you found a nick name that works for the both of you then that's perfect!


Keep it up, man, I'm allready a fan of your mindset :)

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  • 2 weeks later...
Sorry but when i was curious about it i had someone in my family who was in it and was able to talk to me about it and help me grow into myself. I may have looked for it when i was younger then most but i never tried to hide it either.
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  • 3 months later...

I think I'm a pretty good Daddy to my little one. My biggest rule for us is for me to make her feel loved, and even if I may struggle with that when I'm angry, I will always try and make my little girl feel like I love her, and no matter what, she's always told me that she feels that. Another big thing for me is never lying. Whatsoever, no matter how big or small the issue may be my little girl does not lie to me, and I do not lie to my little girl in almost all circumstances, unless it's like planning her a surprise party or getting her something for a holiday or birthday. I love surprising my baby.

 

Other things I feel that are key to keeping things healthy is protecting her. She's my biggest asset, the most valuable thing in my life. I like knowing where she is at all times, I like knowing who she's with, and I like knowing when she'll leave in advance of when she'll h home.

 

When she's home I make sure she does what she needs to do in her day. Homework, eat healthy food that I prepare for her, and other simple things I don't have to do because we do them together, like showering, and brushing our teeth and washing our faces. She's my other half, so if my little girls home chances are we're latched onto each other.

 

Bed time for us always changes, but that being said we do everything together, so I set the time we go to bed, and the time we wake up depending on what's planned the next day. I like her being ready for bed before I get home when I'm working, though. I think this is a huge deal to her, seeing as she's never been one to sleep early, but when she needs to. If either of us isn't feeling good, we'll sleep early though.

 

My best advice to new Daddies or Mommies is to listen to your littles issues. Even if they're your little their problems may not be little. It's your job to set aside your problems for them. It's your job to be the Daddy or Mommy, and with that comes the responsibility of making your little one feel better. You have a responsibility, that doesn't go away.

 

Protect them too, I know I touched briefly on it, but protect your little from everything. Be strong for them, don't be afraid to stand infront of them when you know dangers coming. I know if anyone or anything would try and hurt my little girl I would be aggressive, and I wouldn't stop until there was no threat to her. Your little looking to you for everything won't mean anything if they come into a questionable, dangerous situation. Put yourself out there for them, and don't be afraid to take hits, emotionally, or physically to them.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest WolframSRC

Hello,

 

I'm new to this, but always like to give my opinion. I'd say every little has his/her own perceived biggest weakness, which should be the focus of your care and attention. You shouldn't forget the little things( :p) of couse. A solid framework to help with your little's day to day life should be paramount.

I do have a question to the more experienced Daddys/Mommys out there though.

I myself have been struggeling with depression in the past and know from experience how people with it try to shut people out and pretend everything is allright (vehemently so), even if it is not how they feel inside.

How would you try to help your little, if it was him/her?

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  • 3 weeks later...
Getting into physically and mentally healthy rules I think are both important and I love to see cg's who are thinking about that. Tailoring it to your little though..probably not a good idea to impose an exercise routine on someone who doesn't exercise or whatever.
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  • 3 months later...

Hey there. Are there any sub daddies and dom LGs or LBs here? Ideally a submissive (pet play) caretaker or dominant pet/animal. I think it's suprisingly uncommon, after all, caretakers who are soft AND spoil their little aren't very far from the personality of non-sexual slaves/servants in my opinion.

 

They're both protective, respecting and adoring; yet still I find NO ONE to relate to. I'm into wolf play but I haven't accepted myself as a sort of pet untill a couple days ago as I am dominant, and my boyfriend is a sub, but since he's a "servant" (apart from being a fox), he ends up taking care of me by spoiling me with compliments, *roleplay* making baths, food and things for me.

Am I just a brat pet? I don't feel like that at all, as I'm very dominant with my sub when I'm in little space and out if he steps over a boundarie, tries to cuddle with me without permission or is ignorant whatsoever.

I think I've seen such as daughter dom daddy slave flash by on google but I really don't wanna dive into the graphic bdsm sites.

Someone please come discuss with me.

I'd love it.

//Wolf

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Hello! I see it seems to be mostly daddies here but i'm just Miss to my little prince. I'm fairly new to this whole scene as is my bf who has never explored being little before. He's been into BDSM a lot longer but we are kinda discovering CG/L together. We switch roles so sometimes i'm his little princess but mostly he's my little prince.

 

With being new to this there is still a lot I don't really know about. Rules are currently being set with bed time, uni work, meals and such being included. 

 

So i guess all I'm really looking for right is some advice or tips for looking after my little? Anything that you can suggest would be great help to us both as I'm sure I'll show this to him for when he is care giver. xxx

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  • 2 months later...
  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Thomaslee
I think that the daddy is a father figure and as such should definite provide nurture and affirmation. It ought to be a primary priority to support the physical, psychological, and perhaps even spiritual well being of his little. If not the little is reduced to a mere sex object and play thing while the daddy is reduced to a mere source of income....which I doubt is the case in most ddlg relationships. Such care helps the littles adult side grow more secure and self directed while (a stronger and more confident adult) while allowing her to have the playfulness and princess status of her little side. And I think in this way the little provides for the daddy a real life purpose and a legitimate sense of value.
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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 7 months later...

For me the most important thing is that I keep myself healthy. I put a lot of effort to my own health. I exercise, eat healthy, drink alcohol 1-2 times a year, sleep enough, watch that I don't have too much work/stress on my plate. When I am healthy, I'm in a position where I can keep a good care of my little ones.

As for being a mommy. My main goal is the same as in parenting - to try to make myself not needed in time. For now I carry many responsibilities on my shoulder, but with time I hope to raise my little ones to take care of themselves and to be all they can be and lead happy lives. If anything was to happen to me, I'd hope my little ones could still thrive, that is what I work towards.

While getting there I offer my little ones what they want and need. I offer them protection, warmth, tenderness, rules, boundaries, support among many other things.

 

EDIT: Thought I'd add, to avoid misunderstandings, that this is no way means that I would not want to be a caregiver in the future as well, or to reach a place in which my little ones would not want any of the things mentioned above from me. Simply that my main goal of caregiving is to help those who want my care to lead happy and fulfilling lives, even if I was not there. 

Edited by Mommy Moomin
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Hello all. Both me and my little girl are new to the whole bdsm scene. I've always had a kink in my character and I was taking care of her even when we where vanilla so ddlg seemed a natural fit. So far it's going relatively well but I'm struggling to figure out rules for her. What she really struggles with is shyness. I mean she's beyond introverted. As cute and endearing as i find it, it feels like she's holding herself back from experiencing life and I really want to get her out of her shell without changing the girl i fell in love with and got engaged to. I mean that would be the complete opposite of what i want to achieve. I love the little cutie pie to bits and i want the rest of my family and friends to see and understand why... So any ideas/advice on rules i can set up in this regard? Or am i wrong?
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  • 3 months later...

We have a generic set of rules that we must both follow all the time.  They are centered around being safe and healthy.  We are also working on a set of guidelines that she must follow.  We have been working through this idea, and we discovered together that she's a lot more comfortable when she knows what's expected of her.  With that in mind, I wanted to create a list of guidelines for her to follow.  I don't want to term them as "rules" because they are more things that I wish she would do to better her self and make us both happy.

 

Also, we have a reward/consequence system.  Rewards are things like gummy bears (one for every chore done, for example) or getting to do fun things.  She can also work towards getting a big gift, like a new coffee maker or new clothes.  Consequences, on the other hand, are done when she breaks the rules or does something really bratty.  I try to make sure that it fits the situation.  Sometimes it can be as simple as making her stand in the corner for 5 minutes without being able to join in something fun Daddy is doing.  Being really naughty gets her a hard spanking.

 

Whether it's a reward or a consequence, there are always cuddles afterwards.  It's important for us to talk about when she did well and what she can improve upon.  

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