Bored with Life?

[MilkTeaAndMochi]

I'm looking for some advice, everyone is welcome to comment. I'm feeling a bit directionless and bored with my life right now. I'm extremely blessed to have a loving Daddy/husband whom I recently married, I work a steady job that I don't mind too much, and I'll be done with school soon. But the thing is, outside of all that, I just don't know what to do. I know I should do self-reflection to so I can find myself and goals, but... IDK. I'm passionate about many things, but I seem to have lost some of that passion. I do struggle with depression, and my life growing up was unstable, which didn't give me time to relax and have fun. I'm trying to relax and have fun now, but it's like, where do I even START? 

 

Sorry if that ended up trauma-dumping a little. I just want to know, what do YOU do for fun or to make life feel more fulfilling? Are you spiritual? Do you game or read? Please let me know, thanks! 

[beanbean]

i guess you need to try some new stuff lol thats all i can reaaly tell you find something new you really enjoy 

[Ariadna]

Hi! 🐻
I've been dealing with depression too, so I understand the feeling... I don't think this is "trauma dumping", so you should not feel bad for asking for help. 💕

I think that you should focus more on things that you like and give them a little of space - time in your life. Try to go back in your memories to search for something that you used to love (It's like "taking back what depression has been taking away from you").

However, here is a list of activities to start (but they are based on things I love haha).

🌼 For littles:
Coloring books and activity sheets.
Learn how to make stickers.
Play with "play doh" (In my country it's called "plastilina").
Buy a baby doll or an animal stuffie and take care of them (you can make them a little room!).
...

🌼 For "big girls":
Shooping.
Cooking (I love hot cakes!).
Self-care time (you can playpretend that you are in a spa too!).
Watch movies or tv shows.
Organize a reunion with friends or a romantic dinner with your daddy.
...

You can find more ideas on pinterest, good luck! ☺️💕

[Pinkegobox8]

It sounds like you're doing a lot of living in the present and the future is a big unknown.

First thing I would try and do in your shoes, give yourself a holiday. It sounds like school / work / family life has been keeping your mind and body exceptionally busy and whilst you can do a little decompressing, you haven't had some time away to absorb anything.

Consider talking with your daddy & husband about a weekend or week away somewhere. Have a couple activities planned and see how you feel, if you want more organisation, add more, if you want to free flow then set days where you decide what to do ad-hoc.

Sounds like you're carrying a lot and until you've had a chance to put that down, it may be stopping you from seeing what you want to do in the future.
 

[DaddysMonkey]

👋🏻 Hey there @middlespacebrat , I hope you’re doing well.

I can unfortunately relate to what you’re feeling lately. It’s easy to to make yourself feel like you have no right to feeling lost or bored with life , I do that to myself too. 
 

A lot of people looking in would see that I have Dad , Brother , a job , a home , and seem to be decently well put together or know what I’m doing with my life. I also end up feeling bored with life , lost or unsatisfied.
 

“But the thing is, outside of all that, I just don't know what to do. I know I should do self-reflection to so I can find myself and goals, but... IDK. I'm passionate about many things, but I seem to have lost some of that passion. I do struggle with depression, and my life growing up was unstable, which didn't give me time to relax and have fun. I'm trying to relax and have fun now, but it's like, where do I even START?”

Ouch. This feels like me , talking to me. I know I’m gradually getting older , and something I frequently talk to Dad about is how lost I feel. I recently turned 29 and I feel like time is flying by way faster than it ever did before. I don’t mind my job , but it’s not the mark I want to leave on the world. I’m filled with anxieties about the future , the fact that I don’t want to be at this job forever but I have no idea what to fucking do with myself. There are a lot of passions I have , and avenues I could take for career options or trying out things that might not work out in the end (like pursuing my dreams of being a writer). A lot of what stops me is fear , and I end up staying stagnant , which leads to boredom for me. I know it’s different for everyone , but relaxing gives me anxiety. It makes me feel like I’m not useful and I’m wasting precious time that could be gone tomorrow. Having an unstable childhood and everything I went through as a kid into adulthood has made me a people pleaser. Relaxing to me , feels like taking care of everyone else because in my mind it ensures that I’m being useful and good. (To me.) So more often than not I end up with not a lot of time for myself or things I would like to do anyways such as pursuing a career. I feel it would interfere with the infrastructure that’s already been built in my dynamic. I don’t know where to start either , and that in itself in a whole different can of worms to open. 

What is it in life you’re actually bored with ? Is it having the same routine every day or maybe knowing your life is kind of calm and set right now ? Is it that you are going to be done with school and have a job already and could have another one lined up ? Is it not what you think you really want to do ? I’ve noticed that people who had really unstable or traumatic childhoods are more comfortable or things feel more normal when there’s at least one thing going wrong. It’s not that we want bad things to happen , it just feels like … we don’t deserve for all our ducks to be in a row ? If that makes sense at all. Like , “Why is nothing happening to spike my adrenaline lately ?” Type of feeling I suppose. 

“Sorry if that ended up trauma-dumping a little. I just want to know, what do YOU do for fun or to make life feel more fulfilling? Are you spiritual? Do you game or read? Please let me know, thanks!”

Awh , not trauma dumping at all ! You genuinely want advice , and you were very open about bringing this up. It’s a good place to start , asking for advice. 
 

Unfortunately something that makes life feel fulfilled for me can end up making me more drained. I genuinely like caring for others and talking them through things , or even just listening. I work in customer service and a lot of my customers vent about their life problems and I always try to feed them a lot of positivity and honesty on their situations. It makes me feel really full and helpful to just talk with people like that. As well as on the forum. Replying to topics like this , sharing experiences with people , giving solace and advice makes me feel like I’m doing something good and right with myself. 

I also preach a lot about going outside if you’re able to. I consider myself spiritual but not religious. I think being connected with nature and being outside for even a short walk can really alter someone’s mood and view on what and how they appreciate things in life. It’s something I do for spirituality AND for fun. I always get to see neat creatures on my walks , feel the breeze and stomp on some crunchy leaves , watching the sun rise or seasons change. That’s fun for me. 

Reading does help me ,  but I have to be careful about how much I read. I admittedly use escapism to hide from my life anxieties and fears , so delving into too much imagination and reading books can leave me feeling even more depressed and bored with life. Reading about all these non existent places and fantastical stories can really upset me , because I wish I was living that kind of live instead of the life humans do right now. I like to mix in real life adventures , like going to a new place I’ve never been or watching educational documentaries to really expand my mind and point of view is something I suggest to people as well. Get your feet on the ground in the real world a little bit I guess. I’m not the biggest fan of going out ~because~ of my anxiety but I have had some great experiences because I pushed through and made the choice to just do things I normally wouldn’t. 

Hopefully something in my rambling either helped you find solace or gave you some options to try. I hope you find everything you’re looking for out of life.