Am I codependent?

[Guest ♥ Lee ♥]

Last week my Daddy was psycho analyzing me. He told me that being little wasn't the main reason why I was having trouble not being to talk to him while he is busy or away but that it was because I am codependent on him.

 

Now at the time I agreed with him because I was too emotional to quickly process how I felt and what he meant.

 

So now I'm stuck wondering, am I codependent? If I am how am I supposed to fix myself? Is ddlg helping or hurting my relationship?

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

Are you unable to find happiness outside your partner? Do you sacrifice your mental health for your partner? Do you recognize unhealthy behaviors from your partner but continue to stay with them anyways? Do you always need validation from your partner? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I'd say you're codependent.

 

It's important to speak to your partner about relationship goals. Sit down and talk with your Daddy to discuss what you both want from your relationship. Try finding hobbies of your own that you can do without him. Spend time with family or friends to create a bigger support group for yourself. Figure out who you are as a person outside of your relationship. You can even ponder the root of what makes you codependent. You can try therapy/relationship therapy and that can help with coping skills, healthy habits, and communication.

 

It's hard to have a DDlg dynamic with another person if there's already issues with codependency. I know, as a little, that I'm needy and I want attention from Daddy..but there also needs to be a time where you have to be a "big girl" and know what's right from wrong. If you didn't have a Daddy, how would you function in life if you constantly need direction from another human being? That may be something for you to ponder about. Please remember that you are able to be your own person without your Daddy.

[Guest Missy]

Pouty Kitten was totally spot on with her comments. However, just to play Devil's advocate, I'd like to take the opposing viewpoint that maybe you are not codependent. I have a hard time with lay people playing psychologist. I also feel this dynamic is inherently "sticky"...meaning that Littles and Daddies tend to stick together pretty closely. I've even heard Daddies say they "feed off the neediness of a little."

 

In all due respect to the above comments, I would ask to follow your gut. Speaking from personal experience, I've had a Daddy tell me I was too needy, a Daddy say I wasn't needy enough, and my current Daddy says I'm just right. Could this be a mismatched DDlg relationship? Only you know that. Some couples (even vanilla ones) are joined at the hip, while others are fine with one check-in a day or even a week. I tend to lean toward the joined at the hip side just because I love this dynamic and feeling my Daddy's dominance as much as possible. I go out with friends and an a happy person. However, my little side needs her Daddy.

 

Just tread carefully and never agree to any label someone puts on you. You know who you are and what you need!

Blessings!

[Guest DaddysLolita]

As a little I am needy and greedy of my Daddy. When I have to be a big girl I am independent and able to handle my responsibilities. I've had moments where I haven't been able to use my words to express myself, I don't feel like needing to talk to your Daddy makes you codependent. I think Pouty and Missy both have helpful viewpoints from both sides. Personally I'd take a look at myself and how I feel before accepting an opinion from another.

 

I do feel though that being able to have different hobbies and friends in any relationship is good. Some people can share that joined all the time dynamic, and there's nothing wrong with it, I just know in my own relationship I need my own hobbies and interests that I can share with my Daddy but not necessarily need him for them

 

 

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