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I need daddy advice


Blueybluex

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I’ve been with my daddy for just over three months, we live together already and I told him from the very beginning I was a little into ddlg. 
 

He seems to be struggling really hard with the concept of treating me little no matter how much he tells me he agrees to it and how much I communicate what I like etc. 

example, he’ll read me a story then I’ll start to feel little but then a minute later he’ll talk to me about politics liek a grown up, it throws my brain out of whack and makes me feel weird confused and sad.

he won’t do little space activities with me and that makes me sad, because he says he agrees to it. Like if I go colour he’ll just play video games which I don’t mind but treating me little liek with phrases while he did that would be nice? 
 

I wish he would play toys with me sometimes even just liek 10 min once a week :( 

i dunno what to do :( communicating and sharing information doesn’t seem to be working :( 

Sorry for the rant, I’m just really sad 

 

 

 

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If you have spent time communicating your wants/needs to him and he has not stepped-up, there’s a chance he’s not into it. Not everyone can fall into the caregiver role, which is perfectly valid, you need to give him the space to fully express his feelings on this. 

I’ve given this advice many times on the forum: sit down and have an adult conversation in which you ask him to be 100% honest about if he truly wants to be your Daddy. Now, you also need to prepare yourself for the answer. You have every right to be upset if he’s told you one thing all this time and it turns out that wasn’t true. But, it’s also okay for him to not want to be a caregiver. 

If his answer doesn’t match what you want, then the only thing you can do is re-evaluate the relationship. It’s not ethical to force someone to take on a role they do not want to be in. 

Edited by LoverEcho
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It sounds to me like he is not into it but is ok with you liking it...

If this is the case then remember that we can't force our likes onto others and you need to respect that. It is up to you to figure out if this is a deal breaker, he seems to be compromising by going along and telling you a story at night, wether he is ruining it on purpose or not is something that you will only be able to tell after mentioning it to him once or twice. If he continues to do this then he is just being passive aggressive, perhaps because he feels forced into the story.

And that is the thing, you need to understand sometimes guys will go along with whatever at first to get you and then you realize they were not being honest with you or with themselves even. Maybe he thought he would like it or thought it was more like roleplaying? either way, he should tell you.

I am curious, when you "communicate and share info" is it an actual conversation? does he wants or ask for the info? does he tells you or ask you things about your likes and feelings and reasons or whatever? or is it you doing all the talking? has he ever started one of these conversations?

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I think Nymph is right, but I also think that your daddy likes you for "you" (if that makes sense).

I think that your daddy is very new to the world of DDlg, and you may be his first point of contact, so he doesn't really know how to behave, react or be involved. Maybe if you found some articles online and showed them to him to read about how and why we (DD's & lg's) like to live part of our lives the way we do then he may get to understand you more and be able to interact with you in your little space. As a compromise you may also need to learn what makes him 'tick' and spent part of your time in his adult space world - a shared hobby that neither of you has done before.

Learning about the world of DDlg may be a big change in his concept of reality and it may take time to adjust, so please don't think that it will be an overnight thing.

Good luck to you both.

Edited by LongTimeMe
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I’ve already shown him so many articles and posts from this forum :(

regardless , I had another talk with him and he said he just doesn’t see me as a little kid and he doesn’t always like it and that he’s not always in love with me when im little. 
 

so we agreed for him not to be my daddy anymore but still my boyfriend.

 

im heartbroken

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That’s disappointing that he does not accept you and your DDLG desires. The fact that you two live together certainly complicates things.  Have you thought about what this means for the short and long term?  I would have to think eventually you are going to resent him and want to be with someone into DDLG. 
 

 

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I am very sorry that this has happened to you, like the others have said the DDLG lifestyle as well as being a Daddy or a little is not something that can be taught, it is who you are as a person. You are either a Daddy or you aren't just like being a little is who you are. While this is going to be difficult for you I feel that as Cebakes said you will begin to resent him, being a little is going to be very difficult for you if you do not have a Daddy to love and take care of you while in little space as that is going to be something you need. Your only option would be to see if he he would be ok with you finding a Daddy outside of your relationship with him. That comes with its own complications though. 

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I think that Cebakes is correct, and you may need to take a long-term view about your relationship. It is so sad when this happens.

Many of us Daddies have been through this but from the other side. Daddying (if there is such a word) helped me to come to terms with a sudden and dramatic loss. Other people come to DDlg for many other reasons, but we all need support of some kind. I'm sure that everyone here has your best interests at heart,

Being in little space is part of your own mental, psychological and physical safety blanket and helps you to make sense of the world and cope with when you have to go back into adult space. The first rule you need to remember is look after yourself first. Losing that time and ability may affect you more than you are willing to admit.

Please take some time to yourself and think what you want, what is possible and where you are likely to be best suited in (say) 12 months or even 2 years' time.

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I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. Even reading it. It seems profoundly sad.

As others have said, we all have our own journey to get here and most involved struggle. Some of us even resist (points finger at self) eventually you come to terms with the fact that there just are certain things you need. These things may not fit any mold or label!!! That's why each individual relationship and dynamic are different. I'm truly sad for you that this couldn't be worked out and compromised on between the two of you. 

Everyone has needs that actually do need to be met in a relationship. For a sense of grounded well being. Sadly, if your partner can't meet these,as hard as I know it will hurt. (trust me, I know these dynamics are intense and it will hurt) in the long run finding the right partner for who you are will be so worth it. In the meantime, there are always puppies!!!🐕

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I personally think it's still possible to get some of your needs met even if he is not into ddlg. Maybe think about ways to reframe your needs in ways that fit the role of a boyfriend rather than a daddy. For example, let's say you want to go into little space on your own in the evening. You can tell him "I want to unwind during this time, so please no talk about politics or other big topics." Then you can still try to fulfill your needs in a way that translates better for him. Then hopefully over time he becomes more into the ddlg idea. He sounded like he was willing to try but maybe he then shut it down because he wasn't good at it or he was frustrated with not doing it well for you. The fact that he was a bit open shows he may still be in time. Just take it one day at a time. Best of luck!

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Guest dumb baby

It could be that he is not into it but he could also just not know how to go about it or just forget sometimes. He clearly loves to spend time with you just seems to get side-tracked. Maybe you should take it a bit slow let him research into this a bit more or find a middle ground that you are both comfortable with. Playing with toys etc. is not always going to be appealing with everyone but maybe stepping up a bit with praise or just watching you, giving cuddles etc would help both of you to  get into the right headspace.

Try Communicating again but rather than telling him what you want ask him what he thinks he can actually see himself doing and enjoying and if he tries to say all of it bring up examples of where that hasn't been the case to see what he is thinking on it. There may be some miscommunication occuring. 

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