lost and so so hurt

[dark_kitteennn]

So me and my daddy dom have been together for 7 months and hes really been struggling with mental health issues and he decided that we both need to take a break and omg this hurt so bad idk what to do I love him so so so much. any tips or advice would be lovely 

[gigisweetheart]

I pushed people away constantly when I was struggling with my mental health issues… but it’s tricky to know why a person is pushing someone away. I did it because I felt like a burden and like a disappointment. Maybe he feels the same way, or maybe he genuinely feels like he needs to focus on his self-care? He might not even know why he’s pulling away. 

If you think he is in any kind of danger, or if you’re worried he is slipping into unhelpful habits, then encourage him to find some help. There are so many therapy and support options out there. And let him know that if he truly wants space, you can give him that but that you will always be there if he needs you. Unfortunately, there is not much else you can do but offer compassion and support. 

That’s all I can think of for now. Hang in there.  

[beanbean]

i am sorry your going thro this . mental heath such a hard thing . and sometime its really hard as a caregiver too fight your brain screaming at you and give care to a little . if you do get together i would talk to him and make a plan so as it would be easier .such plans would be them gettingsome kind of help are takiing about the stuff that starts the depression or what not . 

[dark_kitteennn]

thank you so much 

 

[Mr. Ducky]

Hey kiteennn, 

The fact that you took the time to write this post shows that you truly care about him. It puts you both in an unusual dynamic. He's the daddy and so your dynamic is that he should care for you. I've worked in mental health and the metaphor that's often used is that of an oxygen mask on an airplane. They tell you to put your own mask on first and then help the person next to you. If you can't breathe, how can you be expected to put on someone else's mask?  In other words, he can't be there for you if he's struggling with his own mental health.... and so I hope that you don't blame yourself or ask if you're pushing him away.

Assuming he's being honest about the situation, the best thing you can do is just let him know that you're there for him and that you'll continue to be while he works on his issues. Give him some time, but also check in periodically. Depending on the severity of the situation and how much he's willing to open up to you, you may even need to break character and switch roles briefly, at least to the point of encouraging him to find a professional to speak with, and take care of himself. Of course you can do this in the context of a loving daughter. "I want you to take care of yourself because I care about you. I want us to be us again. I need you to get the help you need if not for yourself, then for me, for us..."

 

[dark_kitteennn]

@cavers240Thank you so much!! You are right! And good news I woke up to his texts so hopefully that is a good sign 

[Mr. Ducky]

That is good news. But be patient. You have what's likely a long road ahead... with good days and bad days. Enjoy the fact that today was a good day and hold on to it. You'll need those good days to carry you through the bad ones.