Guest Ginger-Kit Posted November 26, 2015 Report Share Posted November 26, 2015 .. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANewDragon Posted November 26, 2015 Report Share Posted November 26, 2015 I would not change anything. If is good opening to a story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaddysLolita Posted November 26, 2015 Report Share Posted November 26, 2015 I like it! I'm glad you didn't go into more detail with poor Kit before Chaos pulled her out of that situation! <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ginger-Kit Posted November 26, 2015 Report Share Posted November 26, 2015 .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANewDragon Posted November 26, 2015 Report Share Posted November 26, 2015 I think this is turning out to be a great story, and one that I would love to purchase if it gets published. As such, i would recommend that you find a few people to provide feedback on the story overall instead of publishing most of it to the forum. I am not trying to stop you in any way from putting the story on the forum. However it is harder to get it published if it is already able to be found on the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaddysLolita Posted November 26, 2015 Report Share Posted November 26, 2015 The journey begins... Constructive feedback: Just as his hand hit something soft and fluffy, his hand was throbbing as Kit awoke, startled by him. He sat up quickly, holding his hand with a scowl. - This part was a little confusing to me as the reader, the wording kind of threw me off a bit. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ginger-Kit Posted November 27, 2015 Report Share Posted November 27, 2015 I think this is turning out to be a great story, and one that I would love to purchase if it gets published. As such, i would recommend that you find a few people to provide feedback on the story overall instead of publishing most of it to the forum. I am not trying to stop you in any way from putting the story on the forum. However it is harder to get it published if it is already able to be found on the internet. >.< Honestly I'd never considered getting it published.... do you really think I'd be able to get it done with this? The journey begins... Constructive feedback: Just as his hand hit something soft and fluffy, his hand was throbbing as Kit awoke, startled by him. He sat up quickly, holding his hand with a scowl. - This part was a little confusing to me as the reader, the wording kind of threw me off a bit. <3 Hm.. yea, it does read a little weird. Um.... I'll try to think of another way to phrase it. Thank you! ^-^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANewDragon Posted November 27, 2015 Report Share Posted November 27, 2015 I honestly do think that you can get it published. If you have not been a published author yet, there are a couple of publishers that sponsor new authors in a collaboration book for Sci-Fi/Fantasy type short stories. Since you have shifters, this would be in that realm. There are also publishers that do just ebooks as well. I know for a few good reads that are only available as ebooks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ginger-Kit Posted November 27, 2015 Report Share Posted November 27, 2015 I honestly do think that you can get it published. If you have not been a published author yet, there are a couple of publishers that sponsor new authors in a collaboration book for Sci-Fi/Fantasy type short stories. Since you have shifters, this would be in that realm. There are also publishers that do just ebooks as well. I know for a few good reads that are only available as ebooks. I'll look into that then, thank you very much!! ^-^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
appleblueberry Posted November 28, 2015 Report Share Posted November 28, 2015 This is amazing. I personally really like this story you've got going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ginger-Kit Posted November 28, 2015 Report Share Posted November 28, 2015 Ummm Considering it's going to eventually be a DD/LG story, could I perhaps get a volunteer or two to continue to read over it for me privately (via PM or email, or whatever you prefer) if you comfortable with it? I would ask someone else, but given a fair emount of people I know aren't knowledgable in DD/LG or much BDSM, I'm a little hesitant to offer elsewhere... I have intentions of adding in other characters (more shifters of different types) with other elements of BDSM and other sexualities as well. I kinda want a story that's believable, as far as the sexualities and kinks go. Of course shifters aren't, but... yeah. I guess just respond if you're interested? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaddysLolita Posted November 28, 2015 Report Share Posted November 28, 2015 *Jumps up and down* Me me me me me me!! I will! <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LolitasDaddy Posted November 28, 2015 Report Share Posted November 28, 2015 I highly recommend my little b. She is very well read, and will give you honest, constructive criticism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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