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Ask yourself why you want to be a Daddy.


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Guest DominantBlogger

Someone sent me a message asking for tips on someone starting out as a Daddy.  I thought this response might be helpful for others, too:

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I guess I would share with you the thing someone said to me when I asked this at 21.  He said, "Ask yourself why you want to be a Daddy."

 

Now...  Admittedly, from some folks would say this as a bit of a snide or aloof response.  But, if you take it at face value it is very powerful.  Why did I want to be a Daddy?  I thought about this for several days.  What was my motivation?  There are certainly much easier ways to get sex.  These days kinky sex is definately more available but even at that time it wasn't terribly uncommon in the circles I travelled.  Was it a power trip?  Of course it is, in a way.  But again, there are much easier ways of making yourself feel important than taking on the responsiblity for another person. 

 

For me...  and this sounds like a cop out...  But my answer was I didn't "want" to be a Daddy.  I had people telling me that it was who and what I was and I was trying to explore what it meant. 

 

Being a Daddy isn't easy.  Under the best circumstances, your intentions will be misunderstood at times.  There will be painful moments when she will lash out at you through no fault of your own.  Then other times you will have to make decisions that cause her pain in the short term for the greater good.  Part of being a good Daddy is suffering though the knowledge that some of her tears will be due to you. 

 

I've talked before about how being a Daddy can be lonely, at times.  In some dynamics there are multiple care givers.  But usually, the dyanmic is a single care giver with a single little.  Think of what it must be like to be a single parent.  That's what it is like to be a Daddy.  You are their whole world.  Good and bad.  In addition, they are often completely dependant on you.  Not that they are not an adult in their own right.  Not that they don't have the ability to be on their own.  But they choose to be with you just like you choose to be with them.  They exchange their autonomy in the relationship in exchange for your care.  Never forget that.

 

I hope this helps, some...  I realize most of this is pretty abstract.  But it is the truth.

 

Good luck

 

-P

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I didn't want to be Daddy either, I was a Dom nature and circumstance forced Dom-side back into existence after many years of being forced into a dark corner of my mind.

A tumblr user I talked to in a very vanilla setting was a little and had a side blog I liked a lot of the stuff I saw and she said.

This lead to me setting up my own nsfw blog and talking to a little or two to try and feel out what it all was.

 

Answering the question now. I'm a Big because I want my little to be happy, the best way to do that is to be her Big and only her Big. Mentor, friend, teacher, everything that goes with it and few people actually see.

 

The world gets to see her smile and the confidence I've given her while we've been together. I get to see the small moments of more we share and the highs after the lows we pull each other through

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When my girlfriend suggested this idea I felt so uncomfortable but I loved her so much that in a matter of about a week and a half, I did so much research that I when from against it to willing. Now that we're a little ways into it, I feel like being a Daddy has made me more responsible and sensitive. I'm so much more than I was before.

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well,  for me i guess it is to kind of be a role model and protector. Im a very caring person, and i feel like i can be a great daddy to a little

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In my very first intimate relationship, my girl began to work a bit of a D/s dynamic into our life together. Honestly, it kind of scared me at times. We knew nothing about BDSM or DDlg dynamics at the time, but she definitely was a little deep down inside.

 

After our second year together, she wanted to bring age play into our bedroom, and that was the first time she called me Daddy. I liked it a lot, but outside the bedroom she wanted me to be her Master. I had no idea how to be a dominant 24/7, and so, I made a lot of mistakes.

 

Now, many years later I can recall all the things about that relationship that made my heart sing.I realized I missed the playfulness, the warmth of all the cuddling and snuggling up together.I missed bathing her, brushing her hair, and painting her toenails. I missed her giggly, girly nature.

 

I'm not a hardcore dungeon Master, or a full on sadist. I want to build my girl up, protect her, and shower her with love and affection. I want to watch her blossom, try new things, and delight in achieving her goals. I want to be the center of her world, and her to be the center of mine.

 

So, that's why I identify as a Daddy. I want a girl I can color with, watch cartoons and bake cookies with. When I dream of the perfect relationship, I think of the DDlg dynamic, now that I understand it better. I still have a lot to learn about this lifestyle, but it feels right for me. Anyway, that's my rant for tonight.

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What's funny is that originally I actually did want that. I wanted everything about being that caregiver and protector and provider. And then I quickly realized I wasn't cut out for it in the first 2 relationships that I was even in doing DDlg. I didn't do anything that was any different than an ordinary top. I had failed that part.

 

But I still have that nurturing inside me. I just need to put it into practice more and ensure that I'm not bogged down by my own obstacles.

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