emotional reactions as a little

[Guest buddhagirl]

I have a question and a (related) cute story. Story first...

 

Daddy and I had a miscommunication the other day. The next day, I bought Daddy his favorite flowers--stargazer lilies--to show him how sorry I was. Just as I was putting them in the vase, Daddy gets home from work and walks in with MY favorite flowers--peonies--to cheer me up. So sweet...

 

Okay, now the question. As my submission to Daddy and trust in him has deepened over time, I find that when something happens that is upsetting to me I have a very large reaction and get very scared. I know that I feel super vulnerable with Daddy, which is great, except it is kind of backfiring on me when there is conflict because my normal way of being is to stay fairly calm and communicate in a positive, open way. I know that when it happens I feel like a really scared, little girl. I eventually calm down and we can communicate normally, but I do not want to have these triggered, overreactions of fear. Again, this is a new pattern I'm seeing emerge and not a helpful, productive or necessary one. 

 

So my questions are:

Has anyone else noticed this in themselves or their partner?

(For littles) How do manage your feelings when you're scared or hurt? 

(For care givers) How do you help your little when they are feeling really scared or upset?

 

Thank you. 

[Guest DaddysLolita]

That's happened to me once before. Daddy and I had a miscommunication about something that really upset me and I couldn't really articulate why I was upset, which made me more upset. All I knew was that I was scared and really sad about it.

 

Could it be as things deepen that when things go wrong it's frightening because the balance is upset?

 

That's always my goto thought it seems...like...what happens if things go so wrong they never return to normal? It's an irrational fear because I know my Daddy loves me, but upset little b loves to go worst case scenario. I try to take a few minutes to calm down and try to figure out why I feel the way I do, or even what I'm feeling sometimes.

 

I'm sure that doesn't make much sense, but in that particular situation I was feeling excessively scolded so I'm sure that's why I freaked out.

 

<3

[LolitasDaddy]

First things first, I don't think this is a littles trait, it's everyone. Very few people are immune to their emotions, especially when hurt or frustrated. It's always a part of out actions and decisions.

 

For me, I try and make it understood that whatever we are going through is temporary, unlike my love, respect and devotion. That what we are currently going through might seem huge, but our love and need is much bigger.

[Princess-P]

I think that an over reaction and subsequential feelings of fear and sadness is actually very normal. Especially in a deep commited relationship where you are exposing your vulnerability to someone. And that pretty much sums up the DDlg dynamic lol.

 

When your at your most vulnerable its hard to rationalize and keep calm. You can over think and when you get to worst case scenarios the fear kicks in.

 

Your partner obviously knows you well and that's great, its clear even when these things do happen (and of course they will, were human) that you both can later reflect and the love is still strong.

 

So as much as it sucks to have those moments of panic, and as easy as it is to SAY "oh just don't do that and stay calm", that's just not realistic. Its ok to have these moments. Its always ok in the end when your love is strong.

[Guest Miss Braid]

I find that I always over-react much more strongly when I'm in the little type of heads pace because I am very rarely open or genuine otherwise.

 

You don't seem to have that issue though, so I'm not sure

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

I'm actually struggling with this so I'm glad you brought it up!

 

I have a very hard time articulating what's wrong when I'm sad/crying around Daddy and I find that it helps when I give myself some time to think. When I do this, I can usually pinpoint what it is I'm feeling and then I will have a discussion with Daddy later on.