Brats with soft Doms?

[DaddyDragon88]

Hey everyone!

So, I've had several dynamics in the past one of which was with a middle who liked to playfully bully/tease me and "banter" with me, I guess is what you'd call it 😅

I always enjoyed that in a relationship/dynamic but I myself am quite soft as a dominant. I do enjoy "punishments" but only when I know my partner enjoys it too. I know this is part of the brat role anyway, they brat because they want to be disciplined, so no issues there lol

I'm also rather skinny and short, so I'm not the kind of dom who can scoop up my little over my shoulder or physically place her on my knee (Unless she is also petite). So I've never really looked for a brat, as I figured I'm not what they're looking for. I know size kink is a big thing for brats, which is understandable!

My question really is, are there any brats who like soft doms?  Or vice versa?

And can the two roles work in harmony long term?

I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts/experiences!

DD x

 

 

Edited May 4, 2023 by DaddyDragon88

[Cebakes]

My old middle is a brat and I am a soft dom and we worked very well together.  I would tame her and do my best to put her in her place as needed.  It was never physical, always verbal. Of course, a good brat can never be tamed.

[DaddyDragon88]

42 minutes ago, Cebakes said:

My old middle is a brat and I am a soft dom and we worked very well together.  I would tame her and do my best to put her in her place as needed.  It was never physical, always verbal. Of course, a good brat can never be tamed.

This is what I like to hear!

I worry that I can't be physically dominating enough at times due to my body type. I am much better at showing my dominance with words outside of bedroom play!

Though my previous middle didn't identify as a brat, she would get frustrated with me and submit quite easily when I said the right words haha. I never got more than slightly annoyed with her in a playful way, (i'm a super patient and stoic type of person) and kinda wish she'd try to push it further, but she was too impatient and liked being a little kitten more than doing the full brat routine haha

Edited May 3, 2023 by DaddyDragon88

[DaddyDragon88]

15 hours ago, gigisweetheart said:

 I enjoy trying to get what I want or being unruly and exasperating a caregiver, but I don’t respond well to a very harsh or strict disciplinarian. I respond more to patient, repetitive “nos” or gentle explanations of why I can’t have something. The less they budge, the more safe I feel. But if they give in some times, of course I’m gleeful. 🤣

This sounds like me and my ex alot yeah, haha! Thanks so much for your response!

 

And in response to your edit! A good spanking is always fun haha 😅

Edited May 4, 2023 by DaddyDragon88

[Cebakes]

I use an approach very similar to what gigisweetheart responds well to. I do use my wisdom, quiet strength,  maturity, dominance,  and calmness to combat brattiness. 
This will most likely take some time in a new relationship.  As your partner is being a brat, it’s important to know what is causing the bratty behavior, and what they are hoping to achieve with their actions,  then shut it down.  Deep down, brats want to be put in their place.

Spanking is also a way to stop bratty behavior. You want to make sure that your partner would let you do that or they like it.  I did not do that to S when she was bratty because she liked it too much.  

[Sanguine]

10 hours ago, DaddyDragon88 said:

I worry that I can't be physically dominating enough at times due to my body type. I am much better at showing my dominance with words outside of bedroom play!

Hi DaddyDragon88,

This is interesting. I apologise if the forthcoming offends you, and please do call me out if so, but is it fair to say that your self-image is preventing you from being more strict? Your perception of a dom is a man who is tall, strong, handsome and full of tattoos, capable of throwing his little over his shoulder and carrying her off to his cave for punishment; am I wrong? Perhaps this is where your problem lies.

Whenever I notice a problem in my relationship, I remind myself that no two people are the same; relationships involve lots of compromises and adaptation, especially as they grow deeper. With that said, I think some adaption is in order. Your perception of how you should dominate your little is stained by social expectations. By virtue of this, you could adapt your view on how a dom should behave.

I keep a diary on how my little is doing; how well she follows rules, what she forgets to do, how she is punished, and for her schedule. By way of self-applied positive reinforcement, I am convincing myself that what I am doing is justified and has purpose. This means I don't have to rely on outside views when building my perception of how a dom should be.

My diary contains written results, and as a biproduct, confidence in my own ability. I am my own example, and if I need re-assurance, my diary provides that.

Yours,

Sanguine

[DaddyDragon88]

4 hours ago, Sanguine said:

Hi DaddyDragon88,

This is interesting. I apologise if the forthcoming offends you, and please do call me out if so, but is it fair to say that your self-image is preventing you from being more strict? Your perception of a dom is a man who is tall, strong, handsome and full of tattoos, capable of throwing his little over his shoulder and carrying her off to his cave for punishment; am I wrong? Perhaps this is where your problem lies.

Hi! Thanks for your response!

I have had confidence issues in the past due to my body, and I have been turned down due to being too short/ too skinny (some women are very open or even blunt about it, which is fine as we all have preferences haha). I am happy with my body, though.

But when it comes to dominance it's a state of mind for me. My intellect and emotional connection with my partner is usually enough. But I know in some cases littles prefer a dom who can make them physically feel smaller.

From what I'm learning so far, a dynamic with a brat is more a game of wits than being physically overbearing. Which is exactly the  kind of power play I enjoy

Edited May 4, 2023 by DaddyDragon88

[gemmy]

It can be challenging because this is a really niche kink, but like all things it's just a matter of finding the person for you. Skimming through this thread I see that your mental connection to your partner seems to be the important thing and that is a huge strength.

For me, my dominant partner's mentality is what cultivates my respect - not being manhandled all the time. His head is in the right place, so I know he's taking it seriously even if his approach is gentle. Some hard doms aren't flexible enough.

[Vampiress]

I think it's more than possible for a Dom of your body type to effectively handle a brat that is into you as long as you are good at being firm.  Having a commanding presence is more about a look, a tone, confidence, etc. Stature or size shouldn't be that important. A really good Dom should be able to command obedience without ever having to put his hands on a sub, so the size wouldn't matter in that case.