Newbie with question

[chipmunkchump]

Hi everyone, I have a question for you. My Dom/Daddy wants me to get a tattoo to signify (ok I know I spelled wrong)that a certain body part of mine is his property. The problem is my family and my pants sliding down (This is the area that he wants the tat on). I am close to my family. My family doesn't know this side of my life. I don't want to make this public. plus my pants slide down a lot (I have tried belts and that does not work).  I am constantally pulling them up in public. I am afraid that the tattoo will show when my pants slide down, in front of my family. I am 50 years old. My mother is mid 80's. If she saw the tattoo, She would have a stroke. I asked him if we could try something else. He said what else is there? I didn't know what to say. Is there any bondage tattoos that you can get that so people don't know they mean? Any other ideas instead of tattoos? I was thinking of a belly band-But that's more for a pregnant woman. 

Edited May 19, 2023 by chipmunkchump

[GrampyP]

Welcome to the forum.

To me it seems selfish of him, things like that should be mutually agreed to.

[Vampiress]

If you didn't have to worry about your family, would you be okay with this tattoo, or are you still unsure about it? Have you been together for a long time? If the idea of the tattoo in general bothers you, then just decline because it's your body and you shouldn't have to basically put a permanent mark on your body to prove your love or submission to him. If this is a newer relationship, I'd caution against this because tattoos are difficult and expensive to remove if things don't work out. If he loves you, he'll accept a no and find something more suitable. There are so many other ways to signify that you belong to him!

1. Special collars for at home and in public, bracelets, anklets, even earrings. Literally any accessory can be chosen as a way to show you belong to him.
2. Get body safe washable markers/pens and let him write on you during sexy times that you can wash off after so it isn't something you have to worry about family seeing. I've seen even where you can get temporary tattoos made in your preferred design!
3. If you are okay with a tattoo choose a symbol that is important between the two of you, it doesn't have to be a kink symbol. Just one that represents him in a discreet way.
4. If you go with a tattoo there are products you can find like make-up and other things to cover up the tattoo when you don't want it to be seen. Do your research and make sure you read reviews. Lots of helpful tips on how to make those products work well for you.
5. Get your nails done to his specification or have one nail with a certain design every time to signify his ownership.
6. I've heard of people getting tattoos on the inside of their bottom lip in their mouth, no one would ever see that unless you specifically pulled your lip down to show them.

I hope some of these suggestions help, or at least get you thinking outside of the box. If you need further info on any of these or need help finding any of it just let me know in a reply.

[Cebakes]

What type of tattoo is he getting to signify that he is your daddy?  

[beanbean]

The washable markers are a good idea . I wonder if a tattoo somewhere else as long you both know the significance 

[chipmunkchump]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I am still undecided about what I am going to do, I am going to have to think about it some more. 

[Erasmeus71]

There is other ways to show that you have a partner. Collar/Leash although I would not pick it.  Pink nails is a sign of DDLG/ ABDL. Will you can wear Dally necklace. Most won't be notice the bracelet or necklace. They have Daddy's some decoration on it like Daddy's little girl or something.

[STLMike]

I would never ever.. ever make my little/partner get a tattoo. To me at least that is a little much. Others have given ideas but yeah I wouldn't make anyone say I'm theirs on their body unless it was a washable marker that can be washed off at the end of the night. There are plenty of other ways to do to show someone their 'yours'

[Kittyara207]

Etsy has some amazing necklaces and earring, even collars.  If you want to take a look.  Even bracelets for littles, subs, daddy, mommy, slaves and masters.  Some are in real good taste. Even clothing

[SmolAetherr]

tattoos dedicated to friends or partners, dont often hold up to the test of time, if it was a parent, child or someone who means alot to you who isnt around anymore, those can often stand up to time and be a great motivator/reminder of a person who matters to you or a way to keep memories but if its going to be for a partner or a friend who you havent known long what is going to happen when you two break up and you are left with a tattoo in an intimate place of a person you dont even like anymore

 

its a really bad idea.

[Pinkie69]

13 hours ago, gigisweetheart said:

Depending on your skin tone there are white ink tattoos which are more subtle. If your tattoo was small enough then even if your pants slipped down, someone would probably have to lean in pretty close to see it, lol. You could also try some kind of heavy duty makeup cover up or some kind of bandage for those times when you are around family.

If your partner is into humiliating you then there are other ways you can make that happen for him. If he is just power-tripping then, as the others have said, there are other ways to achieve that. Marking your body permanently seems a bit extreme if it’s something that can cause you actual emotional distress or trouble with family members.

If your partner is a jerk about it then ask them to get a tattoo across their forehead and see how comfortable they are at work or around their own family. 😂

was thinking of glow in the dark ink

[Pinkie69]

1 hour ago, SmolAetherr said:

tattoos dedicated to friends or partners, dont often hold up to the test of time, if it was a parent, child or someone who means alot to you who isnt around anymore, those can often stand up to time and be a great motivator/reminder of a person who matters to you or a way to keep memories but if its going to be for a partner or a friend who you havent known long what is going to happen when you two break up and you are left with a tattoo in an intimate place of a person you dont even like anymore

 

its a really bad idea.

yeah and then every subsequent partner has to see it and it could cause issues in any potential future relationships.

[Pinkie69]

every1 has pretty much covered anything i would have said. this seems to b stressing u out some. i can only say do what is right for u. Do u have any other tats or would this b your 1st? a tattoo like he is asking is a major step to take for any1 even a seasoned tattoo person. let alone this being your 1st if it is.

[chipmunkchump]

On 5/19/2023 at 3:05 AM, Vampiress said:

If you didn't have to worry about your family, would you be okay with this tattoo, or are you still unsure about it? Have you been together for a long time? If the idea of the tattoo in general bothers you, then just decline because it's your body and you shouldn't have to basically put a permanent mark on your body to prove your love or submission to him. If this is a newer relationship, I'd caution against this because tattoos are difficult and expensive to remove if things don't work out. If he loves you, he'll accept a no and find something more suitable. There are so many other ways to signify that you belong to him!

1. Special collars for at home and in public, bracelets, anklets, even earrings. Literally any accessory can be chosen as a way to show you belong to him.
2. Get body safe washable markers/pens and let him write on you during sexy times that you can wash off after so it isn't something you have to worry about family seeing. I've seen even where you can get temporary tattoos made in your preferred design!
3. If you are okay with a tattoo choose a symbol that is important between the two of you, it doesn't have to be a kink symbol. Just one that represents him in a discreet way.
4. If you go with a tattoo there are products you can find like make-up and other things to cover up the tattoo when you don't want it to be seen. Do your research and make sure you read reviews. Lots of helpful tips on how to make those products work well for you.
5. Get your nails done to his specification or have one nail with a certain design every time to signify his ownership.
6. I've heard of people getting tattoos on the inside of their bottom lip in their mouth, no one would ever see that unless you specifically pulled your lip down to show them.

I hope some of these suggestions help, or at least get you thinking outside of the box. If you need further info on any of these or need help finding any of it just let me know in a reply.  

The link for the temporary tattoos, Please. and thank you

[Vampiress]

11 hours ago, chipmunkchump said:

The link for the temporary tattoos, Please. and thank you

Certainly! You can get pre-made temporary tattoos from them, custom made temporary tattoos, or just buy their tattoo marker to draw your own. They also make designs for your nails. They claim the tattoos can last 1-2 weeks depending on various factors.

Link (sfw): https://inkbox.com/

[chipmunkchump]

I told him about temporary tattoos, jewelry, other ways to prove my loyalty to him. He said no. He told me to get a hold of him once I decide I want to be loyal to him. I told that I was interested in branding (tattoo). I asked him to get a hold of me. He said he had to go. After a night of thinking about it, I decided to contact him and told him I will get a tattoo if he gets one and loyalty takes two to tango. No response from him and I don't expect one from him. 

Thanks to all of the replies on here. It's very much appreciated. I am a little broken hearted but it will take some to get through this. I acutally liked the guy, without the high demands, of course.

[MissNMTX]

I'm so sorry that your "relationship" was broken over something so silly... really it's silly. Sadly, disputes like this seem common and reinforce misconceptions about the dynamic. Sadly, your "daddy" seems like not much of a daddy or even a Dom for that matter.

As others have mentioned there are tons of ways to demonstrate "ownership". Some of them are really beautiful and quite a few are very subtle and discreet.

I very much like the idea of wearing something actually, so it's not the concept that bothers me. It's that you had legitimate concerns (many of us are terribly private about this aspect of our lives). He was completely inflexible even when alternatives were presented. He was also demanding, yet unwilling to share in the symbolism of your "bond" both of these things plus his mean spirited lack of communication are huge red flags.

Again, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Consider it a learning experience. At least, now you have loads of ideas to share with the right daddy.

[Little kaiya]

Honestly, it sounds like you dodged a bullet. Loyalty, as you rightly pointed out is a two way street. It sounds like he wanted you to get a tattoo not as a sign of loyalty but more to mark you as property. The inflexibility on his part also feels concerning honestly. Being a Dom doesn't mean the sub loses their rights, preferences or feelings. If he was willing to ignore your feelings and use a "this is the only "true" way" kind of pressure that, to me anyway, is a clear sign he doesn't understand that BDSM is built on a foundation of mutual respect, consent and willingness to establish and respect one another's limits.

[Vampiress]

Yikes, what a major red flag from that guy. I am glad you found out now rather than later. Nobody should EVER demand something like a tattoo as proof of loyalty or love. It's just way too extreme. If they don't value anything else from you like the things you do every day to show you care about them, then a tattoo isn't really going to prove anything either. They will just take that as a sign to keep demanding more and more. There is also nothing holding them accountable for showing the same kind of loyalty. They can't guarantee they will be there forever. They can claim it, but there is nothing guaranteeing you wouldn't break up later anyways. You deserve to be treated better than this.

[AspiringDaddy]

@chipmunkchump  , be safe. Before anything, the person who you entrust yourself (and your body integrity) to, should be a Daddy. The Dom part comes next. In my opinion, real Daddies don't behave like that. Besides, for certain important things, such as a permanent tattoo, you don't demand. You may suggest, you may discuss, but you don't impose. It's a matter of respect.

[LittleNyx]

On 5/31/2023 at 1:41 PM, chipmunkchump said:

I told him about temporary tattoos, jewelry, other ways to prove my loyalty to him. He said no. He told me to get a hold of him once I decide I want to be loyal to him. I told that I was interested in branding (tattoo). I asked him to get a hold of me. He said he had to go. After a night of thinking about it, I decided to contact him and told him I will get a tattoo if he gets one and loyalty takes two to tango. No response from him and I don't expect one from him. 

Thanks to all of the replies on here. It's very much appreciated. I am a little broken hearted but it will take some to get through this. I acutally liked the guy, without the high demands, of course.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Although we don't know each other, I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. Selfishness and demanding have no place in D/s. This is definitely a huge red flag. You made the right decision. Please take care *sends you a lil virtual hug if you don't mind*