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Guest DaddyDevil
Maybe I'm not a good Daddy, I don't know anymore, I read all the comments and posts on the personals blog, and I see all the Daddys talking about how strict they are and I wonder if I'm not doing it right, I have rules, yes, I want them to be adhered to yes, but isn't being a Daddy supposed to be about the nurturing and compassion for your little? I have some doubts when I read these posts, I don't know if I'm really a good Daddy anymore, when I have a little with me, I see it as my job to care for her needs, to encourage her, it is ultimately her power as a little that I feel defines the relationship, not mine as a Daddy. .. any man can assert his way all the time, but does that really entail being a Daddy Dom? I understand there has to be assertiveness, and that any good Daddy is able to enforce his will, but is it really supposed to be by intimidating and being, "strict" with his little? I feel that it should be earned, not freely given just because you think you're a Daddy.... I think that if you honestly are a good Daddy Dom, and you establish the trust and respect of your little, you should never need to be strict, or controling, if you are a good Dom, isn't that evidenced by your little seeing it as her responsibility to serve in any way you wish? Maybe I'm just confused, or maybe I'm totally wrong, and that may be why I can't find a little who I can call my own, if anyone can help or guide me I would really appreciate it, I am very concerned that I may have the wrong ideas about even what it means to be a Daddy. ..
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I don't think you have the wrong idea. If I ever find a Daddy I want him to be able to enforce the rules but not be overly strict when the time comes. In my opinion, you catch more flies with honey and its the same with most littles. A lot of people I've talked to tend to be overly strict when it comes to being a caregiver. You'll find the right little, it just takes time, you just need to remember that its best to be yourself and you'll find that one who matches. Don't change what you want out of being a Daddy just to fit some arbitrary mold. 

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I dont think you are wrong. I am more of the same mindset as you are DaddyDevil. You earn the respect and while you make sure they adhere to the rules and enforce the rules, you do not have to be over strict about it.

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Guest DaddyDevil

I don't think you have the wrong idea. If I ever find a Daddy I want him to be able to enforce the rules but not be overly strict when the time comes. In my opinion, you catch more flies with honey and its the same with most littles. A lot of people I've talked to tend to be overly strict when it comes to being a caregiver. You'll find the right little, it just takes time, you just need to remember that its best to be yourself and you'll find that one who matches. Don't change what you want out of being a Daddy just to fit some arbitrary mold.

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Guest DaddyDevil

I was trying to reply to that, didn't do it right I guess, haha

Anyway thank you for giving me the perspective from the other side, I appreciate your opinion and I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.

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Guest DaddyDevil

I dont think you are wrong. I am more of the same mindset as you are DaddyDevil. You earn the respect and while you make sure they adhere to the rules and enforce the rules, you do not have to be over strict about it.

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Guest littlemissragamuffin
If your being ture to yourself then there's no way you can be doing it wrong. It's not about other people or what they do, it's about you and who you are. Everyone's different. So what's right for you and your relationship is going to be different than what other's are doing. Just like all relationships, everyone's DD/LG relationship is different. Becuase all people are different. Stop worrying about titles and just stay ture to you. You can't go wrong being yourself.
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Guest MyDaddyMyWorld

We all want different things. Some girls (like me) need and depend on a strict, controlling daddy. But not controllng in the abusive sense of course. There are many different levels to dd/lg. Some only want the sweet, nurturing daddy type, some want the fully domnant, possessive type (and again, I do not mean possessive in the negative sense).

The trick is finding a partner that matches your own particular beliefs.

My daddy has all those layers. He is not just my daddy, he is my owner, my master and my Dominant. And he is also my lover, my partner and my soulmate.

I need all those layers. But some girls would not like it.

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What MyDaddyMyWorld said. Everyone is different and likes different stuff.

I personally don't like the personals section.

I can't really say if I'm the strict type or the other one, I'm adaptive...

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Princess K and I slid into the Daddy/Little dynamic from a Master/Pet dynamic.  The Master/Pet as all so very structured, strict and distant.  We both missed the passionate and tender side that we had shared before we started in the Dom/Sub journey.  We decided that Daddy/Little was exactly what we were looking for.  It still had the rules and structure but, also gave us the ability to be loving, tender and affectionate towards each other.

 

Rules and structure are fantastic...just like with actual parenting (I am a father of three)...but, you have to be able to view the rules in a passionate way. They are not all black and white (while some are), and you have to be able to balance the reality of life with the fantasy.  No kid ALWAYS follows the rules...but, sometimes, there are viable reasons.

 

Sometimes, reminders and warnings can be used to get them back on track.  Princess K and I have a set punishment (5 spankings) for every rule she fails to follow (she has daily tasks/chores). A lot of time, I give her reminders to help her not forget...and if she misses them for an acceptable reason, I will let it slide.She will still get punishments when she misses several, but it is rarely to the full extent of what she SHOULD have gotten...and I will often give her options on what she will be spanked with and on what part of her body.

 

Bottom line though is...be the Daddy that you want to be and that your little needs you to be.  Ask them if they need more or less rules/punishments.  Don't get caught up in trying to be every other Daddy.  Be you.

 

 

- Daddy J

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Guest MyDaddyMyWorld

We all have the mixture or single thing that works for us. It's good you found your special mix.

Daddy and I are a whole mixture of things, qnd it all fits together perfectly and works seamlessly :)

He is my daddy, my master, my owner, my Dominant, my lover, my partner, my best friend, my advisor, my teacher.....etc etc etc.

Some people get very anxious about fitting into a little niche. Stop. There is no definitive title for everything I am within this relationship.

It sounds like you have a very good relationship, and what makes it better is that it took thought, patience and effort.

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I think every Daddy and every little is different. Some are more strict and their compliment will be someone who needs/wants strictness. There are some who are more cerebral and directive without appearing to be so. We are all different. If your style works for you and your little that's excellent!

 

Don't worry so much about how others go about it, we are all shaped by our experiences, understanding, education, beliefs and desires. Maybe theirs is just different. Different is good, too.

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Guest Heavenly.D.Carr

You, Sir, are not in anyway wrong. Your mindset as a daddy is what makes you a

daddy. I think that ever daddy should have the capability to read their littles mindset and body language. They should know when something is effecting their little in a negative way. You will find a great little who will be overly satisfied with your skills as a daddy. There is nothing wrong with being softer and more sensitive to a little. So long as you are confident that your approach is what is needed at that moment. I believe that we all have a different level of tolerance and neediness for discipline and gentleness. Your approach is a skill set created byyour natural ppersonality and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Let me start by saying there is no right way to be a Daddy, there are definitely wrong ways to be a Daddy, insert Tumblr example here but no right way. You can be strict when you need to be or you can not often I find doing nothing is just as effective. The point is there is not point in looking at every strict daddy and thinking i'm not doing that I should be doing that. It's about what kind of Daddy you are and no one else can influence that. Sure you can educate yourself but just like it's your decision to be a good person and it's your decision to be a good parent the same applies to being a good Daddy. And just for the record there's no right way to do those other two either. 

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DD/lg is different for each couple. It really depends on what the the needs of the people involved are.

 

For example me and my daddy don't have a lot of rules, there are only 3 and they are more like promises we made to each other than rules. But sometimes I am in the mood for a more strict environment so I communicate with my Daddy and let him know, so when those moods occur we have rules for that day that we hold to very strictly.

 

I know for some littles they really want that structure and the rules help with that. It doesn't mean their daddies or mommies don't indulge them with lots of attention and care it just means the rules are part of that care.

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Guest TNDaddy

I am not a very strict daddy either. I have my rules and there are punishment for breaking them. Does it mean a harsh punishment every time? Nope. I believe a true daddy dom is understanding, patient and has compassion.But all DDlg relationships are different. Some daddys/littles like more punishments while others dont.

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