Balancing Responsibility with Little/Middlespace

[PennyGoodfellow]

I'm wondering what everyone's tips and tricks are for balancing all of the adult responsibilities we have with our dynamic headspaces?  It was a lot easier for me when I was in an apartment and worked part time - less stress, more time. 
Now that I'm working full time, have bought a house, paying on a car etc, the adult stress is outweighing dynamic headspace time and energy. 

 

What are your tips and tricks besides "schedule it in" haha. 

[blingsing]

Sunday is my "day". I wear cute pj's all day. I watch Disney movies, play in my craft room, order in dinner because I don't cook in my little space. I can't be little most of the week and instead of being frustrated about that. I've made Sunday special. 

I hope this helps. 

[Alisolte]

To be honest my regression sort of hits me out of left field when everything gets to be too much. I am full time work and full time school but will find myself getting so distracted from adulthood. I wish I had a tip or trick to give! Well, really I wish I was born in a culture where I was stuck at home, catering to a man, and not having to do all this boring stuff. LOL But then I would probably be thinking the opposite, if that was so. 😄

[BrassyBabyGirl]

I remind myself little space is coming after this, like okayyyy we are adulting but when I get home, stuffies and onesies. I also may text Papa or a little friend with a quick text where I am free to express my need to littlespace out at an inappropriate time. The understanding and encouragement helps me focus till I get to that light at the end of the tunnel.

[BrassyBabyGirl]

@PennyGoodfellow I just thought of a tip I was actually doing while typing the first response lol. When I do school or work stuff at home on my computer, I have 2 screens where I can have this forum open as I get some adult stuff done. When I get bored or overwhelmed, I read and explore the site then back to the adulting. It can be grounding in a way I guess lol. 

[PennyGoodfellow]

Thanks everyone! These have been helpful to read!

[EHarleyQ]

I have a simularé issue I live with family and they don’t understand the little space so I’ve been pushing away my little space but the other night when I could I went little and it helped so maybe whenever you have time? Idk I’m sorry if that’s not helpful 

[PennyGoodfellow]

20 hours ago, EHarleyQ said:

I have a simularé issue I live with family and they don’t understand the little space so I’ve been pushing away my little space but the other night when I could I went little and it helped so maybe whenever you have time? Idk I’m sorry if that’s not helpful 

Thank you for answering too! It's helpful to read about everyone else's experiences. 

[Quirky]

I definitely struggle with this too and it's nice to know you are not alone. I don't have it perfect but a tip from another awesome forum member said essentially do baseline self care: when big arrange and set yourself up regardless of single married divorced coupled or poly'd up. I thought that was a really good tip. I good at others but not as good with me. My best tips for it is planning time and safe space. I call it a soft landing. I handle a tonnnnn of responsibilities in real life and think little middle helps me cope greatly. Whether once a month, a day or a week: block it as self care and prioritize it. I think stress will kill me so anything that relaxes and reassures will help me be here for my families. Shift from optional to blocking helps me um control drops best. 20 min resets are also a personal fav when adulting is crushing my spirit and my head, I go to say the car or alone living room and do little things, or forum growth and those parts of me get acknowledged, loved and more supportive of the adult needs when they are um attended to. Block and flex is my method. Not perfect. Always learning and dreaming. Oh and spreadsheet on those wishes because every now and then, the sky rains sunshine and lollipops and we special humans smile the bestest when it does. Little sun little lollis to all who need it:-)

[PennyGoodfellow]

On 1/2/2024 at 12:41 AM, Quirky said:

I definitely struggle with this too and it's nice to know you are not alone. I don't have it perfect but a tip from another awesome forum member said essentially do baseline self care: when big arrange and set yourself up regardless of single married divorced coupled or poly'd up. I thought that was a really good tip. I good at others but not as good with me. My best tips for it is planning time and safe space. I call it a soft landing. I handle a tonnnnn of responsibilities in real life and think little middle helps me cope greatly. Whether once a month, a day or a week: block it as self care and prioritize it. I think stress will kill me so anything that relaxes and reassures will help me be here for my families. Shift from optional to blocking helps me um control drops best. 20 min resets are also a personal fav when adulting is crushing my spirit and my head, I go to say the car or alone living room and do little things, or forum growth and those parts of me get acknowledged, loved and more supportive of the adult needs when they are um attended to. Block and flex is my method. Not perfect. Always learning and dreaming. Oh and spreadsheet on those wishes because every now and then, the sky rains sunshine and lollipops and we special humans smile the bestest when it does. Little sun little lollis to all who need it:-)

This is all really great advice, thank you! 

[Princess stuffie monster]

I dont think i ever fully go adult i keep hold of my little if its cute socks or a silly tee or a mini stuffie in my bag so i know when i get home and everything is done kids are in bed i can be littles or when i finish early i can be littles but i dont fully go adult because adulting is too hards so maybe carry a little bit of your little with you in adult world 

[Mogoira]

Was going to say carrying a small trinket or aspect with you all day. I have a pink ribbon on my purse as a fidget, I have one of my Daddi's pocket squares with her cologne in my pocket a lot of the time, I wear my middle jewelry when I need that connection. 

I also have a seperate text chat that is specific to headspacs/dynamic so my partner knows messages there are for Daddi. She gives me daily and weekly chores that I can take a moment from my day to work on. I also have a headspace specific journal that I work on.  

Final thing, I keep a snack/candy/treat/ reward in my purse that Daddi can award me even if I'm not with her. 

By micro dosing headspace every day, it helps me ward off the OMG im going to loooooosssseeee it sensation. 

[KuromiKay]

I'm at a point in my life where my dayjob actually pushes me to seek middle space quite often (being a leader is...a lot), so I totally identify with @Mogoira's method of 'micro dosing headspace'. And @Princess stuffie monster hit the nail on the head to carry a little bit of your little with you into the adult world.

Here's how I deal:

ENVIRONMENT

I'm very grateful to be able to work from home, so my office space is basically a 'middle-splosion'. Everything that allows me to remind myself that "adulting is not where it's at" is within arms reach. So that means:

• Kawaii af decor, toys, plushies and art (something to glance down at during zoom meetings)
• Coloring book and markers; (awesome for lunch breaks or calming yourself down after a crappy meeting/day/budget session)
• Pretty stationery 
• Cute pens (look, if I have to write dry, lifeless work notes, I'm doing it with my fuzzy lavender pen, okay?)
• A cart of tea and tasty snacks (For the 3pm pick-me-up! I have to be careful not to eat too many snacks in one day, though)
• Lipsmackers chapsticks (I can't wear them anymore bc my lips break out, but the aesthetic is 💯 and they still smell ahhhhmazing)
• Strawberry motif on whatever I can find

PERSONAL STYLE

Life's too short to not just wear what I want. I oscillate between kawaii, goth and coquette, so that means:

• Space buns and pigtails - I don't normally do these for work unless it's a trying day, but after work? They're up.
• Kawaii clothing - I generally wear a ton of black, and LOVE it, but whenever I just want to feel less adult-y, I throw on something Sanrio, pink or purple
• Loungewear - Anything that makes me feel like a slice-of-life anime character, or Cher from Clueless (or a Juicy Couture model?) 
• Honey Gloss lipglosses~ I don't know what it is, but that ridiculously shiny and sticky gloss helps me slip right into middle space when I need it. I wear it all of the time.
• Super cute press-on nails

ACTIVITIES

• Watching animes (especially the ones I grew up on: Sailor Moon, Inuyasha & Kamisama Kiss are at the top of my rewatch)
• Snacking!
• Coloring
• Going to the Arcade
• Reading Light Novels
• Writing fanfic with real people (usually rock stars)
• Solo dance party 
• Listening to certain music (Kawaii lofi, anime music, OG grunge and nu metal) while playing the Sims

[Midnight Rayne]

I absolutely love this. I spent the last 5 years pushing my true self away due to adult responsibilities, life in general. This has caused me more stress and loss of self identity as I constantly struggle with “big me” and “little me”. I love how you incorporate what you love into your work space so you never lose sight of yourself. I want to start doing this as well! Thank you for explaining what you do, it’s given me some great ideas!

[Bratty Middle]

I find it hard to get into middle/little space sometimes especially if I am stressed all of these ideas are awesome for a new comer like me. I have work and kids so I like to take time and color or play games with my daddy when we talk at night. He lives a little away from me and it can be very hard sometimes because I miss his cuddles. But I am so excited to be here!! 
But what I came here to say is my daddy bought me some cute Hello Kitty bracelets and necklaces (whispers I'm not big on necklaces 🤫 but I wear the bracelets everyday and they help me feel a little more connected. I've been trying to build a little space formyself but its hard since I am also a mommy of older kids my youngest is 13.

My daddy when I go to see him transforms his room for me so I can be in a good space. I want to do it too. But I sleep with my stuffie at night and I always look at stuffies too when I go to the store. Okay getting off track sorry!! I do that I'm just so excited!!! 

 

[AdorableNancyDrew]

So, work can be stressful. I ended up decorating my office in toys and stuff that make me happy. I find that having a really tough day at work actually makes it easier for me to go straight to my little space when I get home. I just immediately look for that relief and my home space is safe enough to do that immediately.